Looking back, early March seems like a different world. There were rumblings of a virus in Asia, then in Italy, then New York and in a matter of days we were shutting the entire country in an effort to slow the spread.

Seemingly overnight we all knew the meaning of “flatten the curve, ventilator, and PPE,” and were looking to epidemiologists to shed light on nearly universal uncertainty. But during that time something happened that was often overlooked, people continued dying for non-COVID, reasons every day.

Suddenly the end of a years-long battle with cancer, or an unforeseen heart attack was no longer able to be recognized in the ways we normally do. Funeral celebrations that were created with and for terminally ill family members were no longer possible. Friends and family were not able to gather, hug, and participate in the ceremony and support which help frame the way we normally experience grief. 

These bereaved families found themselves in the shadow of a global pandemic. Their singular loss, marginalized by comparison to the hundreds of thousands of deaths caused by the virus. 

But the existence of a pandemic doesn’t mean that daughters, husbands, and friends don’t experience the same depth of grief. Their pain was, and likely still is, louder than the headlines. And that pain has probably been made worse since they were not able to gather and receive that big show of love and support that a visitation or funeral provides.

So this is a bit of a call to action for people who know someone who has lost a friend or family member for any reason during the time of social distancing. Reach out to them. Help them plan a memorial picnic when it’s safe, help them plan a virtual memorial on Zoom, or just call them to talk about it. 

Grief after loss is hard in any circumstance, but when we’re required to isolate for health reasons, it can compound the feelings of loneliness that already come with grief. Remind the grieving people in your life that they are not alone, and do this without expectation of a response.

Eventually this pandemic will pass, but as supporters to our friends and family it’s our responsibility to make sure the important and unique lives that came to an end during the pandemic don’t get overshadowed by the headline.