David Alford Kolling

The Life of David Kolling

I was born in North Mankato, Minnesota, in 1936, the second of three children. For the first few years of my life, my family lived at 721 Wall Street. One of my earliest memories is helping our elderly next-door neighbor, Charley Johnson, build a garage. He taught me how to drive nails with a hammer, and I still remember that small lesson as one of my first experiences of learning from someone older and wiser.

When I was about five years old, we moved a block away to 704 Lyndale Street. I lived there until I married Mim (Lorraine LeDuc) at age twenty and began a home of my own. One of my fondest memories from childhood is kissing my mother good night every night, no matter how late it was. That simple act remains one of the warmest memories of my early life.

The Minnesota River ran about two blocks behind our house, with nothing but woods between us and the river. My first and truest friend, Jim Beisel, spent many hours there with me. We built forts, played war, fished, and lived the kind of boyhood that stays with a person forever.

I attended North Mankato School through eighth grade. My athletic career included sandlot baseball, running the sixty-yard hurdles in track, and playing guard on the basketball team. I was captain of the eighth-grade basketball team, which was a proud moment for me.

In ninth grade I attended Franklin Junior High, where I played football and basketball. That was where I met Danny Corcoran, who became a close friend. It was also during that year, 1951, that the Minnesota River flooded most of North Mankato. Our house and two nearby homes were spared, but we still had to evacuate. We spent three months living with the Pearson family, friends of my parents, on North Broad Street in Mankato. I still have terrible memories of the typhoid shots we had to receive during that time.

That same summer I first met Mim. I was staying with Jerry Near at his family’s cottage on Lake Washington, just a few doors down from the LeDuc cottage. Jerry and I would watch Mim do dishes through the kitchen window. Even years later, Jerry jokingly accused me of stealing his girlfriend. My relationship with Mim grew stronger when we worked together for a few summers at her father’s business, Crown Bottling.

I attended Mankato High School, now Mankato West, and graduated in 1954 as co-valedictorian with Nancy Klenk. I was also president of our senior class, which later gave me the honor of serving as master of ceremonies at our class reunions. Those reunions were held every five years and became a treasured connection to my past.

During high school I met Bob Hanlon, my biology teacher, who became an important mentor. He taught me some of my first real-life lessons about being true to myself and not losing sight of my full potential. My high school years were filled with friendships, memories, and social growth. I have often believed that high school is where people develop and hone their social skills, and I believe I was successful in doing that.

Bob Hanlon was also critical in my journey into the Catholic faith. In high school, Bob invited me to visit St. John’s University in Collegeville. At Mass there, even though it was in Latin, I experienced a feeling I could not explain. Looking back, I believe it was the Holy Spirit stirring my soul. Later, while dating Mim, a Catholic girl from Good Counsel Academy, I attended Mass again and felt that same mysterious pull.

My curiosity about the Catholic faith led me to seek instruction, and I eventually became a convert, leaving behind my Lutheran upbringing. My mother was disappointed, but she gave me her blessing. Bob Hanlon served as my sponsor. When I received my First Communion, that feeling was very strong as I held the host. I did not fully understand it then, but I came to know its origin.

After high school, I spent a quarter at Northwestern University and a quarter at the University of Minnesota before settling at Mankato State. I graduated in 1958 with degrees in mathematics and physics. I eventually earned a Master’s degree in Statistics from the University of Minnesota. During my college years at Mankato State, I sold Cutco Cutlery part time with my friend Jack Anderson. I made good money doing it, and more importantly, it helped me overcome some of my insecurities.

That success made it possible for Mim and me to marry in August 1956, when we were both young and I was still in college. My mother was nervous that marriage might keep me from finishing school, but she gave us her blessing. She loved Mim and told me I could not have found a better spouse.

In June 1957, Mim and I had a child, but she was stillborn. It was a devastating blow for both of us. That loss remained one of the deepest sorrows of our young marriage.

After graduating from Mankato State, I had two job offers. One was with the Atomic Energy Commission research facility at Iowa State College in Ames, and the other was with Remington Rand Univac in St. Paul, where my brother worked. I chose Univac, even though I did not really know anything about computers when I started. My starting salary in June 1958 was $100 a week, which was actually less than I had been making selling Cutco. Still, it turned out to be a fantastic choice.

At Univac, I entered the world of computers and digital technology at the very beginning. I began as a programmer and worked on the Naval Tactical Data System, helping automate shipboard Combat Information Centers. Our work included aircraft tracking, threat identification, weapon assignment, carrier landing systems, missile fire control, radar control, and many other functions. I was part of the development of the first solid-state shipboard computer and many pioneering systems that helped shape military and commercial technology.

Mim and I also continued to build our family. Kristin was born in 1958, soon followed by Kim, Lisa, Heidi and Matt. Five years later we were blessed by another daughter, Meg who reminded us that we may attempt to plan our lives, but ultimately, God decides.

During my career, I moved through technical and managerial positions and eventually became Vice President of Engineering for Unisys Defense Systems in St. Paul. Along the way, I had to learn not only how to manage, but how to lead — with integrity, trust, and respect for the people doing the work. I believe I was successful.

One of my most memorable assignments was going to Montreal in 1988 to take over the Canadian Patrol Frigate program for Unisys Paramax. The program was behind schedule, over budget, and underperforming. It required every leadership skill I had. I focused on the positive, worked to earn the trust of the Canadian team, the prime contractor, and the Canadian Navy customer, and helped guide the program back to success. We delivered the first ship in 1991, in time for it to serve during Operation Desert Storm. That assignment was one of the most challenging and rewarding of my career.

Beyond the work itself, the greatest gifts of my career were the people. I worked with hundreds of talented, dedicated people and formed lasting friendships, especially with Don Woodard and Joe Coughlin. I also treasured the mentorship and friendship of Lee Shevel, whose lessons stayed with me long after Montreal.

My life was also filled with hunting, fishing, travel, and friendship. For many years, Jim Beisel, Don Woodard, and I traveled back to Mankato on weekends to duck hunt with Mim’s brother Cyril. We stayed with my parents, hunted during the day, and drank Grain Belt beer at the Circle Inn at night. Cyril and I also hunted pheasants throughout Minnesota and South Dakota, and we made many trips to Wyoming to hunt deer and elk.

One of the hardest moments of my life came when Jim Beisel was accidentally shot and killed during a duck hunting trip. His ten-year-old son Jason was with him in one boat, while Don Woodard and I were in another. His gun accidentally discharged. I had to call Jim’s wife, Donna, and tell her what had happened. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Jim had already suffered great loss as a child when his parents drowned in a boating accident when he was ten. After Jim’s death, his family remained part of our family, just as Jim had become part of mine after his parents died.

In 1971, Cyril encouraged me to attend a silent retreat at the Jesuit Retreat House at Demontreville in Lake Elmo, Minnesota. On the first night, I was confronted with a question that changed my life: “Are you the person God wants you to be, or are you the person you want yourself to be?” That question became a spiritual awakening for me. I realized I was not happy with who I was becoming, and I committed myself to journeying with Jesus Christ. Since that time, the Eucharist has sustained me. Faith and service became a central part of my life and I continued attending my annual retreat at Demontreville for about 50 yrs.

After retiring from Unisys in 1994, I joined my friends Ed Tilford and Jesse Freese at Fissure, a company that taught leadership and project management skills. I remained affiliated with Fissure as CFO. It was during that time that I came to realize that my passion all along had been helping others find value in themselves.

Mim retired in 1996, and we bought a fifth-wheel trailer and began traveling to the Southwestern states during the winter. Though we eventually stopped pulling the trailer, we continued spending time in Arizona visiting our son Matt, relatives, and friends.

I coached youth hockey in White Bear Lake beginning in 1971 and continued until I went to Montreal in 1988. I began at the Squirt level, then coached B Peewee for the majority of those years. I have many good memories traveling to Grand Rapids for an annual hockey tournament with the team and their families and the great friendships made with Bob Rude and Bob Bergstrom. I believed in fair playing time and that teaching the boys to be good people was as important as being good hockey players. After coaching, I served as the hockey association President and volunteered for many years as the ice scheduler.

At St. Pius X Catholic Church, I came to understand more deeply the parish statement of purpose: “To Bring the Healing Love of Jesus to Every Encounter That We Have in Our Daily Lives.” I had read those words many times, but I came to know what they meant through experience. When Kim Williams, Director of Outreach Ministry, asked me to serve as Volunteer Coordinator for St. Pius X activities at the St. Andrew’s Family Shelter in Hugo, I wasn’t sure what I was getting into. But my administration charism kicked in, and I agreed to help. My first task was recruiting and scheduling volunteers for dinner and overnight shifts for a week in September. I even worked an overnight shift myself. Mim and I started mentoring workshops at St. Pius in 2004 and the Military Service Support Ministry in 2009.

Looking back, I see a life shaped by family, faith, friendship, work, service, loss, learning, and love. I have been blessed with a wonderful wife in Mim, children and a family I love, loyal friends, meaningful work, and a faith that has guided and sustained me.

I believe the feeling I first experienced at St. John’s was the Holy Spirit whispering, “Come follow me,” gently nudging me toward the path of becoming the person God wanted me to become.

It has been a great ride.

Notes from Dave’s family

During his visit to the hospital on the Friday of Memorial Day weekend, it became clear that Dave’s earthly journey was nearing its end. He returned to his White Bear Lake home, where he spent his final days under hospice care in the living room he had shared with Mim and their family for so many years.

On the first day at home, family members encouraged Dave to share some of his favorite stories and memories — and he gladly did. He reminisced about his childhood in North Mankato, lifelong friendships, hunting trips, his remarkable career, and especially about first meeting the love of his life, Lorraine “Mim.” Even in those final days, he’d perk up and smile when he spoke of her. Dave spoke openly about being at peace with God and with his life. He told his family he had no regrets.

Dave often said his favorite poem was The Man in the Glass. The poem speaks about integrity, character, and being able to honestly face the person staring back at you in the mirror. It reminds us that success is not measured by titles, accomplishments, or the praise of others, but by whether a person can live honestly with himself and with God.

He was a man who achieved every success in business and life yet always stayed true to his upbringing. He was well intentioned, down-to-earth, hardworking, honest, and straightforward.

If something captured his interest, he gave it everything he had with an unwavering commitment. He invested not only his time and effort but also his heart, always determined to do things with care, purpose, and excellence.

Nobody who knew him would ever question that he could look in the mirror and see a man that “passed the test”.

The Man in the Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for self

and the world makes you king for a day

Just go to the mirror and look at yourself

and see what that man has to say

For it isn't your father or mother or wife

whose judgment upon you must pass

The fellow whose verdict counts the most in your life

is the one staring back from the glass

Some people may think you a straight-shooting chum

and call you a wonderful guy

But the guy in the glass says you're only a bum

if you can't look him straight in the eye

He's the fellow to please never mind all the rest

for he's with you clear up to the end

And you've passed your most dangerous difficult test

if the man in the glass is your friend

your final reward will be heartaches and

tears if you've cheated the man in the glass.

Adapted from "The Guy in the Glass"

by Dale Wimbrow (Peter Dale Wimbrow Sr.), 1934