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The Unexpected Earth Day Action

Wed, 22 Apr 2026 19:31:42 GMT

Pre-Planning Your Funeral as Earth Day Action

When you think of Earth Day, what comes to mind? Planting a tree, organizing a neighborhood cleanup, maybe finally remembering where you put that one tote bag full of other tote bags.

All of these are wonderful ways to honor our planet. But there is one Earth Day action that almost no one expects—and it might just be the most meaningful, lasting commitment you can make to the environment.

It is the act of preplanning your own funeral.

We know. Bear with us.

While it might seem like a heavy topic for a spring holiday, taking the time to plan ahead is actually a deeply empowering, life-affirming choice. At Mueller Memorial, and through our signature service, Interra Green Burial , we believe that the end of someone's life can reflect the values and customs they held while living. And if you want your final footprint to be a light one—if you want to genuinely return to the earth —making a plan today is the most crucial step you can take.

Why Your Wishes Need a Plan

Here is something that does not get talked about enough: when a death happens and there is no plan in place, your family is suddenly faced with over 150 decisions in the first day or two.

In the midst of grief, shock, and the practical chaos of loss, survivors will almost always reach for the most familiar, accessible options available to them–typically a traditional burial with embalming or a standard flame cremation. These are honorable choices that have served families for generations, and they remain the right fit for many people.

But if you envision a different kind of farewell–one that actively gives back to the earth–your family will not know that unless you tell them. And telling them, really telling them in a way that holds, means making a plan.

Sustainable Options to Consider

Through Interra Green Burial by Mueller Memorial, there are remarkable, eco-conscious options available right here in the Twin Cities:

Water Cremation (Aquamation) uses water and a gentle alkaline solution instead of flame to return the body to its elements. It carries an estimated four to ten times less carbon impact than traditional flame cremation, and the cremated remains returned to the family are almost the same as those from conventional cremation, just a little more fine, lighter in color, and about 20% greater in volume.

Green Burial is, in many ways, the oldest form of farewell humans have ever known—a body placed in a biodegradable shroud or woven casket, laid directly in the earth without embalming or concrete vaults, and allowed to return naturally. Interra by Mueller Memorial is one of only funeral providers in Minnesota certified by the national Green Burial Council, and they can help you find the right cemetery, from a dedicated natural burial ground to a hybrid cemetery that accommodates green burial alongside traditional plots.

Natural Organic Reduction (NOR) , also known as human composting or terramation, is the newest option and one of the most extraordinary. Over the course of several months, the body is gently transformed into about a cubic yard of rich, nutrient-dense soil. Families can claim that soil and use it for planting—a memorial garden, a tree, a forest. It became legal in Minnesota in 2024 and though there is not yet a provider in the state Mueller Memorial has been partnering with a trusted provider in Washington state to provide this service for Minnesotans now.

Each of these options is beautiful. Each of them is available. And none of them will happen by accident. If you want a sustainable end-of-life disposition, you have to plan for it—and you have to tell someone.

Making the Plan: A Step-by-Step Guide

Planning your return to the earth does not have to be overwhelming. Many families tell us that getting their plans in order brings a profound sense of peace—for themselves and for the people they love. Here is how you can take action today, right now, on Earth Day.

Step 1: Research and Reflect

Start by exploring your options. Consider what is important to your family traditions or faith. For instance in the Catholic faith the two accepted disposition methods are flame cremation and traditional or green burial. Jewish and Muslim traditions inherently incorporate green burial practices.

Spend some time on interraburial.com reading about green burial, water cremation, and body composting. Think about what feels right to you, not just ecologically but personally. What kind of goodbye reflects who you are and what you have valued?

Step 2: Choose Your Disposition and Memorialization

Choosing how your body will be cared for is only part of the picture. Think also about permanent memorialization—where you want to be, or where you want to remain. If you choose water cremation or human composting, your options for what comes next are wide and meaningful: ashes scattered in a place you love, placed in an ossuary or a burial niche in a columbarium, or transformed into smooth, tangible Parting Stones that your family can hold.

If you choose body composting, the resulting soil can be used to plant a memorial tree, nurture a garden, restore native landscapes, or be donated to forest restoration efforts. If you choose green burial, you might select a space in a natural burial cemetery like Prairie Oaks Memorial Eco Gardens , a cemetery with a dedicated green burial area like Resurrection in Mendota Heights , or a hybrid cemetery like Roselawn Cemetery in Roseville or Mound Cemetery of Brooklyn Center .

Step 3: Write It Down and Put It in a File

A plan only works if it is recorded somewhere that matters. This is where our Preplanning Specialist, Annie Saukko , comes in. Annie can meet with you at our St. Paul or White Bear Lake locations—or online by special arrangement—for a no-pressure conversation about your options. She will help you navigate the choices, answer your questions, create an individual cost estimate, and get everything properly documented in a file that will be there when your family needs it. You can reach Annie at 651-774-9797, at annie@muellermemorial.com , or make an appointment with her if you’re ready to start planning at https://www.muellermemorial.com/planning-ahead/planning-ahead

Step 4: Fund Your Plan

Making your wishes known is the first half of the equation; funding them is the second. By setting aside the funds now—held safely in a fully transferable, interest-bearing insurance policy—you secure funds that will be there to carry out your exact wishes when the time comes. It also lifts a significant financial expenditure from your family's shoulders at a time when they may not be expecting it.

Start Here: Your Free Planning Guide

If you are not quite ready to sit down with Annie, that is completely fine. A wonderful place to begin your Earth Day action is with our free Funeral Pre-Planning Workbook , available to download right now at muellermemorial.com/planning-workbook .

This digital guide walks you through the critical information that a funeral home, the state, and the Social Security Administration will need at the time of need. More importantly, it gives you a clear, structured way to record exactly what you want for your body and for your services—so that when the time comes, the people you love are not guessing.

A Generational Conversation Starter

For Gen X and Millennials, this workbook is also something else entirely: a conversation starter.

If you are thinking about end-of-life options for yourself, downloading the guide creates a natural opening to talk about it with your parents. You can say, "I was reading about green burial for Earth Day and started filling this out for myself—have you ever thought about what you might want?" That question, asked gently and with genuine curiosity, can open a door that many families never quite find the courage to walk through.

How to Celebrate Earth Day 2026

This Earth Day, we invite you to consider an action that goes far beyond a single afternoon. Planning your return to the Earth is a gift to the planet, a gift of clarity to your family, and—perhaps most surprisingly—a gift to yourself. There is real peace in knowing that your wishes are written down, funded, and in the hands of people who will honor them.

The Earth will be here. The question is simply how you plan to return to it.

Download your free Planning Workbook at muellermemorial.com/planning-workbook , or schedule a conversation with Annie Saukko by calling 651-774-9797 or emailing annie@muellermemorial.com . To explore Interra Green Burial by Mueller Memorial's sustainable options, visit interraburial.com .

Grief during hard times - Part 3

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 16:30:16 GMT

Things You Can Do When You're Grieving or Overwhelmed

Use Your Breath to Calm Your Nervous System

Grief overwhelms the nervous system. Learn a simple breathing technique backed by neuroscience to reduce anxiety and steady your body.

Grief doesn’t just break your heart.

It stresses your nervous system.

Many families say:
“My chest feels tight.”
“I can’t settle down.”
“I feel anxious for no reason.”

There is a reason.

When someone dies, your body shifts into stress mode. Even if the death was expected.

Your nervous system doesn’t measure logic. It responds to loss.

And there’s one tool you always have with you.

Your breath.

A Simple, Science-Backed Technique

Dr. Andrew Huberman describes something called the “physiological sigh.”

He explains that certain breathing patterns directly calm the nervous system.

Here’s how:

Inhale through your nose
Take a second short inhale through your nose
Slowly exhale through your mouth

That long exhale tells your body:

You are safe.
You can slow down.

Two or three rounds can begin lowering stress quickly.

During the Acute Loss Period

In the first 10–12 days after a death — the Acute Loss Period — families are making important decisions and managing emotions.

Use this breathing tool:

Before having a conversation
Before greeting visitors
Before trying to sleep
When emotion rises suddenly

It doesn’t remove grief. It steadies your body so you can carry it.

Our Grief Compass program exists because support shouldn’t end after the service. Healing takes time, and we continue walking with families.

And one final thought.

One of the greatest gifts of funeral pre-planning is reducing this intense decision-making load for your family someday. Fewer urgent choices mean less nervous system strain.

Grief will always hurt.

But it doesn’t have to overwhelm your body.

Take one slow breath.

Then another.

That’s enough for now.

Physical Movement, That's all?

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 21:25:31 GMT

When Your Mind Feels Stuck, Move Your Body

Things You Can Do When You're Grieving or Feeling Depressed

Grief can leave you feeling frozen. Learn how gentle movement supports mental health and calms your nervous system during hard times.

Grief has weight.

You feel it in your chest. Your shoulders. Your stomach.

And sometimes it makes you feel frozen.

If that’s you, you’re not weak. You’re grieving.

There’s something simple that can help.

The Body Can Lead the Mind

Dr. Andrew Huberman, neuroscientist and Stanford professor, explains:

“The body is the fastest way to change the mind. Movement creates brain states.”

When you’re grieving, your thoughts can spiral. But your body gives you another entry point.

Movement — even small movement — sends signals to your brain that help regulate stress and stabilize mood.

Not intense workouts.
Not pushing yourself.

Just gentle motion.

Why Walking Helps

Huberman also discusses something called “optic flow.” When you walk forward and your eyes take in the passing world, it naturally calms the nervous system.

That’s why even a slow walk around the block can reduce anxiety.

During the Acute Loss Period — those first days after a death — your nervous system is on overload. There are decisions to make and emotions rising unexpectedly.

A 10-minute walk can help reset that overload.

If walking feels like too much, start even smaller:

Stand up and stretch
Roll your shoulders
Walk to the mailbox
Fold one load of laundry

These aren’t productivity hacks. They are nervous system support.

At Mueller Memorial, we guide families carefully through those early days because we understand how physically exhausting grief can be. Through our Grief Compass , we continue offering tools and structure long after the service.

And here’s something worth considering.

Thoughtful funeral pre-planning removes dozens of decisions from your family’s shoulders someday. That reduction in stress makes a real difference during grief.

You don’t have to fix your pain.

But you can take one small step.

And sometimes, that’s enough for today.

Handling Tough Times in Grief and Life

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 21:04:01 GMT

Start With Morning Light

Things You Can Do When You're Grieving or Facing Hard Times
Simple, science-backed ways to support your mental health while grieving. Learn how morning sunlight can help regulate mood and sleep.

There are mornings after a death when everything feels heavy.

You wake up and for a moment you forget. Then you remember. And it all rushes back.

In those early days — what we call the Acute Loss Period — your body and brain are under real strain. Sleep is disrupted. Appetite changes. Time feels strange.

So instead of telling you to “stay strong,” I want to offer something practical.

Step outside.

That’s it.

Why Morning Light Matters

Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist and professor at Stanford University, explains:

“Getting sunlight in your eyes in the first 30 to 60 minutes of the day is the single best thing you can do for your mental health and sleep.”

That’s not motivational talk. That’s brain science.

Your body runs on a circadian rhythm — an internal clock that regulates mood, energy, and sleep. When someone dies, that rhythm often gets thrown off. You may feel exhausted during the day and wide awake at night.

Morning sunlight helps reset that clock.

When natural light hits your eyes (no need to stare at the sun — just being outside), it signals your brain to regulate stress hormones and prepare for better sleep later.

Even 5–10 minutes helps.

During the Acute Loss Period, Keep It Small

In the first 10–12 days after a death, families are making decisions, coordinating details, and riding emotional waves.

This is not the time for big life changes.

But it is the time for small anchors.

Morning light can become one of those anchors.

Before the phone calls begin.
Before emails.
Before the day fills up.

Step outside. Stand on the porch. Walk to the end of the driveway.

You don’t have to feel better. Just let the light do its quiet work.

And if you need more structured support beyond those early days, our Grief Compass program continues walking with families long after the service is over.

One more gentle thought.

One of the quiet gifts of funeral pre-planning is reducing the strain your family carries during those early days. Fewer decisions mean less nervous system overload.

You don’t need to solve grief today.

Just start with light.

Is Religion Dying With Us?

Wed, 10 Dec 2025 18:19:51 GMT

When Faith Fades:

What America’s Shift Means for Funerals —

and How Mueller Memorial Stays Grounded

What happens when fewer people turn to faith in life — but still need comfort in death?

A recent Gallup poll reveals a dramatic shift: fewer than half of Americans now say religion is important in their daily lives — a drop of 17 points in just the past decade. Churches are closing, and more people, especially younger generations, are walking away from organized religion altogether. But when someone dies — when the floor drops out and families are faced with loss — that’s often when the big spiritual questions rush in, whether we expect them or not.

At Mueller Memorial, we see this shift firsthand. And we’re not alarmed — but we are paying attention.

FAITH IN AMERICA: A TURNING POINT

The United States has long been considered a religious country, especially when compared to other wealthy nations. But that’s changing — fast. Gallup found that just 49% of adults now say religion plays an essential role in their lives, down from 66% in 2015. That’s one of the steepest declines in the world.

Churches are closing at record rates. More Americans are identifying as “nones” — meaning no religious affiliation at all. And while Christianity still makes up the majority, it’s shrinking: just 62% of Americans now identify as Christian, down from 78% in 2007.

And yet… when someone dies, religion often finds its way back into the room.

FAITH AND FUNERALS — STILL INTERTWINED

We’re not surprised when families say, “We’re not very religious, but…” followed by, “Dad would want a church service” or “We’d still like a pastor to speak.” Even people who don’t attend services regularly often return to familiar rituals during a funeral. It’s not about doctrine — it’s about meaning, comfort, and connection.

At Mueller Memorial, we work with families across the spiritual spectrum — from deeply devout to totally nonreligious. Some want a full Catholic Mass. Others want a simple gathering with favorite music and shared memories. And some need help figuring out what feels right at all.

That’s where our approach makes a difference.

MUELLER MEMORIAL’S RESPONSE TO A CHANGING CULTURE

We’re not here to push anyone into a religious box. Instead, we focus on three things that transcend belief systems:

Comfort-first spaces – Funerals aren’t meant to feel cold or clinical. We’ve invested in our facilities to create warm, welcoming environments where families can simply be — whether they’re praying, laughing, crying, or all of the above.
Acute Loss Period support – That first 10 to 12 days after a death is overwhelming, especially without the structure faith used to provide. Our team guides families through every step, offering clarity, calm, and care when it's needed most.
The Grief Compass – Grief doesn’t end after the service. Our ongoing support program helps families navigate life after loss — without relying solely on faith institutions to do that heavy lifting.

WHAT THIS MEANS FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

Whether your family is deeply religious, spiritual-but-not-religious, or totally secular, one truth remains: the death of someone we love shakes us to the core. And everyone deserves a funeral that feels authentic, comforting, and true to the life that was lived.

At Mueller Memorial, we’re not bound by tradition — but we do honor it. We create meaningful, personal services that meet people where they are, with or without a church pew.

So if you’re not sure what kind of service your family would want — or how to even begin thinking about it — that’s okay. You’re not alone. And we’re here to help.

IN A WORLD WHERE FAITH IS FADING, LOVE STILL SHOWS UP

Even as religion’s role in daily life declines, love, memory, and connection still matter deeply. That’s what funerals are really about. And that’s what Mueller Memorial is here to protect — no matter where you fall on the faith spectrum.

If you have questions or just want to start a conversation, we’re ready when you are.

Do More People Die During Full Moons?

Wed, 10 Dec 2025 18:16:25 GMT

Full Moons & Final Calls: Is There Something to It?

Ask anyone who works the night shift — ER nurses, first responders, funeral directors — and you’ll probably hear it:
The full moon brings the weird ones.

Spikes in accidents. Odd phone calls. Unexpected deaths. Sudden chaos that can’t be explained away. And while we might laugh about it at the time, we also tend to glance up at the sky and check: Yep. Full moon.

So, is it real?

The idea that a full moon pulls on our behavior the way it pulls on ocean tides has been around forever. Literally. Ancient civilizations tracked moon phases for farming, ceremonies, and healing. Victorian doctors once blamed the moon for changes in mental health. And the word lunatic? It comes straight from luna, the Latin word for moon.

Even today, some emergency rooms quietly brace for busy shifts on full moons. First responders swap stories. Funeral professionals—ourselves included—have noticed a pattern too: strange circumstances, sudden deaths, and more unpredictable calls around the time of a full moon.

Of course, there’s also the werewolf thing. But we’ll leave that to the movies.

What does science say?

Most modern studies have looked into the connection between the full moon and things like violent crime, ER visits, or suicide rates. And so far? The data doesn’t show a strong link. Researchers chalk most patterns up to chance, selective memory, or the very human habit of noticing what stands out.

In other words, science doesn’t blame the moon. But it doesn’t totally dismiss the idea either.

That said, when your work is closely tied to life and death, you develop a kind of sixth sense. It’s not superstition—it’s observation. You start to notice what happens when, and sometimes, the moon’s full glow lines up with some pretty uncanny nights.

Let’s call that an occupational perk.

Why it matters, even if it’s not “true”

Even if there’s no hard evidence linking the full moon to death, its effect is real in other ways. The full moon changes the way the world looks and feels: shadows deepen, light shifts, the night feels heavier. For those working the midnight hours—embalmers, caretakers, dispatchers—those details matter. The atmosphere itself feels different.

And for many families, cultural or spiritual traditions honor the moon’s phases. Pagan, Indigenous, and folk rituals see the full moon as a powerful time—when transitions happen, when doors open between this life and whatever comes next. As funeral professionals, understanding these beliefs matters. It helps us care for people with greater empathy and respect.

The bottom line?

Maybe the moon doesn’t cause more deaths. But it does change something—for some people, in some moments. It stirs the air. It sharpens memory. And when that silver light spills into the quiet hours, we don’t mind admitting: we notice, too.

Whatever the moon’s role may be, death care doesn’t wait. We’re here whether it’s calm or chaotic, full moon or not.

But if it is a full moon… well, we wouldn’t be surprised if the phones ring a little more than usual.

Scott

Blue Christmas and Services of Remembrance Dec 2025

Fri, 05 Dec 2025 20:49:09 GMT

Finding a Gentle Place to Land This Holiday Season:

Blue Christmas & Remembrance Services in Our Community

For families that have experienced a loss, sometimes December doesn’t feel particularly bright or merry. If you’re carrying the absence of someone you love, the holidays can sit heavy on the heart. You’re moving through spaces filled with celebration while your own season may feel quieter, more tender, or even lonely.

To recognize this many churches and community organizations create space for exactly that kind of experience. Often called Blue Christmas , Longest Night , or Services of Remembrance , these gatherings across Minneapolis and St Paul often offer soft light, calming music, and the simple reassurance that it’s okay if grief is a part of your season.

Below, we’ve gathered a list of upcoming services throughout the Twin Cities—many in the east and northeast metro—where you can sit, breathe, remember, or simply be. If this season feels different for you, we hope one of these gentle spaces feels like a good fit.

Blue Christmas & Holiday-Remembrance Services

Blue Christmas Service

Lyngblomsten Care Center — Newman-Benson Chapel

1415 Almond Avenue, Saint Paul, MN 55108

Sunday, December 7 at 4:00 p.m.

All are welcome to this quiet service of prayer, music, and remembrance in a peaceful chapel setting.

Details: https://lyngblomsten.org/event/blue-christmas-service-2025/

“In Remembrance” Prayer Service

St. Mary of the Lake Catholic Church

4741 Bald Eagle Ave, White Bear Lake, MN 55110

Tuesday, December 9 at 7:00 p.m.

A heartfelt invitation to bring a photo or memento of your loved one. This service creates a warm, communal space to honor those who have died—especially meaningful for families in the White Bear Lake area. Please register with Kathleen Finn at 651-429-7771, option 1, or kfinn@stmarys-wbl.org .

Details: https://stmarys-wbl.org/events/ (see Dec. 9 listing)

Service of Remembrance

Mount Olivet Church — Minneapolis Campus

5025 Knox Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55419

Tuesday, December 9 at 6:30 p.m.

An evening set aside to honor loved ones through candlelight and reflection—open to anyone who needs a moment of calm in a busy season. If you would like the first and last name of your loved one read during the service, please contact Julie Goodman at 612-767-2208 or julieg@mtolivet.org

Details: https://mtolivet.org/event/service-of-remembrance-mpls-campus/

Longest Night Worship Service

The Grove United Methodist Church

St7465 Steepleview Rd, Woodbury, MN 55125

Sunday, December 14 at 3:00 p.m.

We remind one another through this time of lighting candles & sharing in communion that we are not alone and that we are people of hope.

Details: https://www.facebook.com/share/1FsY2SXc4u/

Remembrance Candle Lighting Program

The Compassionate Friends (Mpls–St. Paul Chapter)

St. Joseph Parish, 8701 36th Ave. N, New Hope, MN

Monday, December 15 — Social hour at 6:00 p.m., Program at 7:00 p.m.

Created specifically for families grieving the death of a child, grandchild, or sibling. A moving candle-lighting ceremony where names are spoken and memories held with care.

Details: https://www.tcfmpls.org/news-events

Blue Christmas – A Candlelight Prayer Service of Light and Hope

New Life Evangelical Lutheran Church

180 County Rd F W, Shoreview, MN 55126

Wednesday, December 17 at 7:00 p.m.

A gentle, candlelit service that acknowledges grief while offering a sense of hope. This is a long-standing tradition for many Shoreview-area families seeking a quiet night of prayer.

Details: https://www.newlifeshoreview.com/

Blue Christmas – Healing Prayer Service

Central Lutheran Church Minneapolis

333 South 12th Street, Minneapolis, MN 55404

Saturday, December 20 at 5:00 p.m.

Designed for anyone who finds this season difficult. A warm sanctuary, soft music, and space to rest in God’s comfort.

Details: https://www.centralmpls.org/event/blue-christmas-healing-prayer-service/

A Gentle Reminder

You don’t have to walk through this season alone. Whether you choose to attend one of these services or find your own quiet ritual at home, your grief—and your love—matter.

If you need someone to talk with, or help finding additional support, our team at Mueller Memorial is always here to listen. Sometimes just having a place to begin makes the season feel a little more bearable.

Should AI Help Us Live Forever?

Sat, 22 Nov 2025 20:57:09 GMT

Are We Trying to Outsmart Grief?

Every now and then something crosses my screen that just stops me in my tracks. This week it was an advertisement for a brand-new AI app—created by a former Disney Channel actor—that promises to let you create a talking, interactive avatar of someone who has died.

The promo video shows a woman speaking to a digital recreation of her deceased mother—an avatar generated from just three minutes of video footage. The avatar appears at life events for decades to come: birthdays, holidays, even the birth of her grandson. At the end of the ad, the company declares:

“With three minutes, you can make someone last forever.”

For someone who has spent decades walking alongside families in grief, that line hit me hard.

Because I understand the longing behind it. The desire for just one more moment… one more chance to hear a familiar laugh… one more chance to say thank you, or I love you, or I’m sorry. Those feelings are real and they run deep.

The Internet’s Reaction Was Immediate

The ad went viral—over 22 million views—and the backlash was fierce. People called it dystopian, manipulative, even “evil.” Many compared it to an episode of Black Mirror, where a grieving girlfriend creates an AI replica of her boyfriend after he dies, and, not surprisingly, it ends in tragedy.

Critics used words like:

“Dehumanizing”
“Profiting off grief”
“My value dies with me. I’m not an avatar.”

That’s a strong reaction, and it tells us something important:
People are afraid that technology might replace the real human process of grief.

The Real Danger

Grief hurts because something permanent has happened. A life has ended. And there is a sacredness in that finality.

The emotional work of grief isn’t something we can bypass, no matter how advanced the technology becomes. In fact, trying to avoid the pain only prolongs the suffering.

The first 10–12 days after a death—what we call the Acute Loss Period —are tender and overwhelming. During that time, families are vulnerable, raw, and unsure. That’s when ceremony matters most. That’s when we need community the most. That’s when we start the real emotional transaction of adapting to a world without someone we love.

A hologram or a digital clone may look comforting…
But it can’t replace the healing that happens when human beings come together, cry together, share stories, and mark an ending with meaning.

Why It Matters for the Future

If we’re not careful, we risk letting technology turn grief into an illusion instead of transformation.
We risk trying to hold on so tightly that we stop learning how to let go.

And I believe with every fiber of my being:
Life has meaning because it ends.
Our days matter because they’re limited. Our relationships are precious because we only get so many of them.

What we leave behind isn’t a digital puppet programmed to say the right things.
It’s the love we gave, the stories we told, the people we shaped, and the memories that live in real human hearts.

A Healthier Way Forward

AI isn’t going away, and it doesn’t have to be the enemy. Used thoughtfully, it can help us honor a life—repairing old photos, sharing memories, preserving stories, even helping families craft meaningful ceremonies.

But trying to digitally resurrect someone who’s gone is a line we should approach with caution and respect.

Legacy is not found in a hologram.
Legacy is found in the way we live our lives, and in the people whose lives we touched.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for being part of a community that understands the importance of real connection and the value of honoring a life with ceremony and compassion.

Gratefully,
Scott

Best Funeral Home for 6 Years

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 15:06:37 GMT

Thank You for Naming Mueller Memorial “Best Funeral Home”

for the 6th Year in a Row

We are humbled and grateful to share that Mueller Memorial has once again been named “Best Funeral Home” by the readers of Press Publications —for the sixth year in a row .

To the families of St. Paul, Oakdale, Maplewood, Vadnais Heights, White Bear Lake, Mahtomedi, Hugo, and Centerville —thank you. Your vote of confidence means everything to us. At Mueller Memorial, we’ve always believed that what others say about our service matters far more than what we say about ourselves , and your support continues to be our most meaningful honor.

Why Families Keep Choosing Mueller Memorial

There’s no shortage of funeral providers in the Twin Cities, but Mueller Memorial is proud to be fiercely family-owned and rooted in the communities we serve. We don’t answer to shareholders. We answer to families—like yours.

Over the years, we’ve focused on what truly matters during some of life’s hardest moments. That’s why we’ve built our service around our “Big 3” promises :

1. Comfortable Spaces for Families

We continually reinvest in our White Bear Lake and St. Paul locations to create spaces that feel warm, welcoming, and peaceful—because we know the environment matters when you’re gathering to remember someone important.

2. Support During the Acute Loss Period

We guide families through the first 10–12 days after a death with compassion and clarity, helping with everything from planning to paperwork so you don’t feel overwhelmed.

3. The Grief Compass Program

Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. That’s why we offer continued support through our Grief Compass program—real tools and guidance for living with loss, at no extra cost to the families we serve.

A Promise to Keep Going

This award is a reflection of the trust we’ve earned from you—our neighbors in St. Paul, Oakdale, Maplewood, Vadnais Heights, White Bear Lake, Mahtomedi, Hugo , and Centerville . Whether we’ve helped your family in the past or you’re just starting to explore funeral planning, please know this:

We’re here. We’re local. And we’re always going to care.

On behalf of our entire team, thank you again for your trust, your votes, and the chance to walk beside you during life’s most tender moments. We will continue to serve you with the same dedication, warmth, and integrity that this award celebrates.

Warmly,
Scott Mueller
Funeral Director & Owner
Mueller Memorial

Why Is Grief Always Different?

taelor@muellermemorial.com (Taelor Johnson) — Tue, 12 Aug 2025 20:30:00 GMT

This is a subtitle for your new post

This question came to me from a family we served, so it made sense to write about it. When you're grieving, it's natural to look at others and wonder, "why aren't they grieving like I am?" Grief isn't one size fits all. Just like every relationship is different, every person's experience of loss is shaped by an entirely unique situation. Here are some reasons why.

Different relationships

Even siblings don't grieve the same parent in the same way. That's because each had a different version of that parent. The eldest had first time parents still figuring things out. The middle child had parents with more experience. The youngest often had parents juggling chaos. So it makes sense that their grief would be just as individual as their memories.

Different roles

We also grieve based on the role someone played in our lives, a parent, a spouse, a sibling, a best friend, each person leaves behind a specific kind of vacancy. Maybe they were your biggest cheerleader, your daily phone call, your source of laughter, or your steady rock. That role and its absence shapes how you feel about the loss.

Different experiences

Your age, life stage and past losses also impact how you grieve. A child's grief differs from an adult's, which is different. Again, in old age, your personal history matters too. Two cousins losing the same grandparent may react differently, especially if one has never experienced a major loss and the other has already grieved a close friend. One might feel crushed by the weight of mortality, while the other draws on past resilience, or may face resurfaced pain.

So if your grief doesn't look like someone else's, that's okay, every loss is personal. Every heart breaks a little differently. Be kind to yourself and to others. Navigating the same storm in their own way.

Experience Matters

scott@muellermemorial.com (Scott Mueller) — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 19:46:13 GMT

There is a difference...

When someone in your family dies, it's not a time for guesswork. You need someone you can trust, someone who's been there before, who knows how to guide you through decisions you didn't plan to make. That's why at Mueller Memorial, we say experience matters.

One of our funeral directors, Mary Thompson, is a perfect example. This year marks Mary's 40th year, serving families. 40 years. Think about the care, wisdom and steady hand that only comes with that much experience. Yet even after four decades, Mary approaches every family with the same heart and commitment to do what's best for them, not what's easiest or fastest.

Mary is exactly the kind of person we are proud to have represent us, and she's not the exception. She's the standards we hold ourselves to. Our team is made up of professionals who genuinely care and see the people who come to us, not as customers, but as neighbors, friends and family.

Now there's something else you should know, which is a dirty little secret about the funeral world. Many funeral homes you see, have been quietly sold to big corporations or venture capital groups. They usually keep the old family name on the sign, but inside the culture changes, these companies answer to investors, not to families.

At Mueller Memorial, we remain fiercely family owned. That independence is not just a point of pride, it's a reason we attract and keep incredible funeral directors like Mary Thompson, people who put the families they serve first, not a boardrooms bottom line.

Experience matters, but so does heart, and you deserve, both.

Mueller Memorial Nominated Best Funeral Home

Tue, 08 Jul 2025 17:24:30 GMT

We need your daily votes!

CLICK THE BUTTONS TO VOTE

The five-time winners of White Bear Lake and Vadnais Height's Best Funeral Home, Mueller Memorial, is once again asking for your votes in 2025. If you'd like to vote right now you can click the "Vote for Mueller Memorial" buttons above. It should go right to the page to vote for us.

You can vote for Mueller Memorial daily between July 9th and August 3rd, 2025.

(Through Aug 13 for Shoreview Press, and Aug 24 for the Hugo Citizen)

You may find yourself asking, "Why vote for Mueller Memorial?" Well, rather than have us tell you why (we're obviously biased) we'd prefer you hear it from the families we've served, click the blue button to read their reviews on Google.

Everyone at Mueller Memorial is so proud to be known as the best funeral home in White Bear Lake, Hugo, and the Quad Communities and earning your votes means a lot to us. Thank you for taking the time and for your kind support!

How to Vote

Click the button to vote.
Wait for the page to load. If you wait it should load the "Best Funeral Home" category.
If not, scroll to the "Services" category and click it
Scroll down until you see "Best Funeral Home" and click that.
On a phone you may need to scroll slightly up or down to see the funeral homes nominated.
When you find Mueller Memorial (reminder we are not Mueller Bies) click the green "Vote" button
Fill out a form with your information (they don't spam you or anything, just making sure you're a real person).
Click "Submit" (if they ask)
Feel our heartfelt gratitude.

What Our Reviews Reveal:

scott@muellermemorial.com (Scott Mueller) — Mon, 02 Jun 2025 22:58:59 GMT

The Heart Behind Mueller Memorial's 5-Star Service

In the business of saying goodbye, numbers rarely tell the whole story. But sometimes, they speak volumes. When I recently reviewed the feedback we've received from the families we've served, I was both humbled and affirmed by what I found. As a 5-time winner of the "Best Funeral Home" award in our community, I wanted to dive deeper into what makes our service resonate so deeply with those we serve.

The Reviews Don't Lie

Across our St. Paul and White Bear Lake locations, an astounding 96% of our reviews are 5-star ratings. In an industry where families come to us on their worst days, achieving this level of satisfaction isn't just good business—it's a sacred trust fulfilled.

When we analyzed the themes mentioned most frequently in these reviews, two stood out above all: "compassionate staff" and "professional service." Beautiful facilities came in third, reminding us that while the environment matters, it's the human connection that families remember most.

"I don't think I can adequately put into words my gratitude for Mueller Memorial and their staff. We were devastated from our loss and found ourselves lost and unsure of next steps... Their guidance allowed us to transform the tragedy into a beautiful ceremony."

Who We Serve

Our review analysis revealed something interesting about who makes the arrangements when a loved one passes. Most often (42%), it's adult children planning services for their parents, followed by spouses (24%). This confirms what we've always believed: funeral planning is a family decision, often navigated by those experiencing profound role reversals or the sudden absence of a life partner.

We've also noticed evolving preferences in how families choose to remember their loved ones. While cremation has become the most requested option (42%), traditional burial remains deeply meaningful for many families (28%). What's particularly exciting is the growing interest in our eco-friendly options , which now represent 10% of our services.

Innovation Meets Tradition

At Mueller Memorial, we've always believed that respecting tradition doesn't mean resisting change. I'm particularly proud of our environmental innovations, including green burial options, water cremation (aquamation), and natural organic reduction ("human composting")—making us one of the few funeral homes in Minnesota offering all five forms of disposition.

Our commitment to the environment mirrors our commitment to the families we serve: with intention, respect, and an eye toward the future. When we introduced these options, some questioned if traditional families would embrace them. The answer has been a resounding yes. Today's families want choices that reflect their values—both the traditions they cherish and the planet they hope to preserve.

The Mueller Difference

Reading through hundreds of reviews, I noticed families rarely mentioned pricing (though we're transparent and competitive). Instead, they talked about feeling "cared for," appreciating our "attention to detail," and valuing our "helpful guidance" through unfamiliar terrain.

One reviewer described us as "taking the fear out of funeral planning"—perhaps the greatest compliment we could receive. Because that's exactly what drives our team: creating an environment where families feel safe making difficult decisions during vulnerable moments.

"Mueller went above and beyond for my family. In the midst of trauma and loss, Mary was such a rock... She showed me nothing but compassion, kindness, understanding. I am just so beyond thankful to have met her and to have had her by my side."

Looking Ahead

As funeral service continues to evolve, we remain committed to leading with both compassion and innovation. We're expanding our grief support programs, enhancing our celebration of life options, and continuing to find ways to make the impossible days a little more bearable for the families who trust us.

The reviews tell us we're on the right path. But we're never satisfied with yesterday's success. Every family deserves our very best, every time.

If you've entrusted us with caring for your loved one, thank you. If you're considering pre-planning or have immediate needs, know that our team—consistently mentioned as "compassionate," "professional," and "caring" in reviews—stands ready to serve your family with the same dedication that has earned us the community's trust for generations.

Gratefully;
Scott Mueller

Twin Cities North Metro Summer Fairs and Festivals 2025

Thu, 08 May 2025 21:51:13 GMT

Things to do this summer in the Northeast Metro

�� Your Guide to Summer Festivals in St. Paul & the Northeast Metro, 2025

Summer in Minnesota is fleeting, but it's packed with opportunities to get out there to connect and celebrate our vibrant communities. From art fairs to music festivals, parades to fireworks, there's opportunity all around us to try something new. Here's a list of local events to help you lean into the season:

��️ Summer Events in Order by Date

Good Neighbor Days – Hugo, MN

Date : June 6 – 8, 2025

Location : Lions Volunteer Park

Highlight : Parade on June 7 at 11:00 AM

Summary : Kick off summer with food trucks, carnival rides, live bands, a craft fair, RibFest and an talent show.

Website : goodneighbordays.com

Art in the Hollow – St. Paul, MN

Date : Saturday, June 7, 2025 | 10:00 AM – 5:00 PM

Location : Swede Hollow Park

Summary : A grassroots art festival showcasing local artists, live performances, and cultural exhibits in a hidden gem of St. Paul's East Side.

Website : artinthehollow.org

Groovin’ In the Garden – St. Paul, MN

Dates : Wednesdays, June 11 – July 30, 2025 | 6:00 PM – 8:00 PM

Location : Marjorie McNeely Conservatory

Summary : Pack a picnic and dancing shoes, spread out a blanket & enjoy these FREE outdoor concerts in Como Park.

Website : comozooconservatory.org/groovin2025

Lowertown Sounds – St. Paul, MN

Dates : Thursdays, June 12 – August 14, 2025 | 6:00 PM – 10:00 PM

Location : Mears Park

Summary : A free, weekly summer concert series featuring local music, food trucks, and community vibes in downtown St. Paul.

Website : lowertownsounds.com

Manitou Days – White Bear Lake, MN

Dates : June 19 – July 4, 2025

Highlight : Grand Parade on June 20 at 6:30 PM

Summary : A cherished community festival with parades, beach dance, boat shows, and fireworks celebrating the lakeside spirit.

Website : manitoudays.com

MarketFest – White Bear Lake, MN

Dates : Thursdays, June 19 – July 31, 2025 | 6:00 PM – 9:00 PM

Summary : A weekly summer street festival featuring live music, local vendors, food, and family activities in downtown White Bear Lake.

Website : marketfestwbl.com

Rosefest – Roseville, MN

Dates : June 23 – 29, 2025

Highlight : Party in the Park & fireworks on June 28

Summary : A week-long celebration with parades, concerts, runs, and community gatherings in Roseville's Central Park.

Website : cityofroseville.com/2564/Rosefest

Fête des Lacs – Centerville, MN

Dates : July 15 – 19, 2025

Summary : A lakeside celebration featuring a parade, fireworks, live music, and community activities in Centerville.

Website : facebook.com/fetedeslacs

Lumberjack Days – Stillwater, MN

Dates : July 17 – 20, 2025

Highlight : Parade on July 20 at 11:00 AM

Summary : A historic festival with lumberjack shows, live music, a parade, and riverfront activities in Stillwater.

Website : lumberjackdays.com

Slice of Shoreview – Shoreview, MN

Dates : July 25 – 27, 2025

Location : Island Lake County Park

Summary : A community festival with live music, a parade, carnival rides, and fireworks in Shoreview.

Website : sliceofshoreview.com

Canadian Days – Little Canada, MN

Dates : August 1 – 3, 2025

Highlight : Parade on August 3 at 12:00 PM

Summary : Celebrating community in Little Canada with a sport tournaments, a parade, 5K, live music, and events at Spooner Park in Little Canada.

Website littlecanadamn.org/675/Canadian-Days

Vadnais Heights Days – Vadnais Heights, MN

Dates : August 11 – 17, 2025

Highlight : Parade on August 17 at 12:00 PM

Summary : A family-friendly festival with music, food, and community spirit in Vadnais Heights.

Website : cityvadnaisheights.com/459/Vadnais-Heights-Days

Minnesota State Fair – Falcon Heights, MN

Dates : August 21 – September 1, 2025

Summary : The “Great Minnesota Get-Together” with food, rides, concerts, and exhibits, drawing over a million visitors annually.

Website : mnstatefair.org

☀️ See You Out There!

Summer in Minnesota is a time to embrace community, culture, and the outdoors. Whether you're dancing at Manitou Days, exploring art at Swede Hollow Park, or savoring treats at the State Fair, these events offer countless opportunities to create lasting memories. So grab your calendar, invite your friends and family, and make the most of the season. We’ll see you out there!

You Can't Make Grief Wait

scott@muellermemorial.com (Scott Mueller) — Sun, 27 Apr 2025 21:58:16 GMT

Something we learned during the Pandemic

Why Grief Can’t Wait

If you’ve ever lost someone close to you, you already know — grief doesn’t follow a script. It doesn’t wait until it’s convenient.
It hits like a wave, sometimes when you least expect it. And it’s different for everyone.

What we’ve learned over the years — especially during and after the pandemic — is just how important it is to recognize a death right away.

That’s what I want to talk about today.
The importance of timing, of gathering, and of making space for grief when it’s most needed — not when it’s easy or when schedules line up.

Because grief can’t wait. And a funeral? It’s not just tradition. It’s something the human heart needs.

When the pandemic first hit, we were told to wait.
"We'll do something later," they said. "When it’s safer."

And so many families did — they waited weeks, months, sometimes even longer.

But what we saw was that when the time finally came to gather, grief had already gone underground.
The loss wasn’t acknowledged properly.

Friends and family had started to move on with their lives.
And the support that people needed most had already faded away.

We learned something very important:
Grief doesn’t hit pause just because the rest of the world does.
And waiting often makes the loneliness heavier, not lighter.

Here’s what we know now — and what, deep down, we’ve always known:
When someone dies, the most critical time to hold a service is within the first 10 to 12 days .
We call this the acute loss period .

It’s that window where your world feels upside down.
You’re tired. You’re overwhelmed. You’re still trying to understand that the person you love is really gone.

Your brain knows it happened — but your heart doesn’t feel it yet.
And that's normal.

You know, I like to explain it this way:
If my leg were amputated — if I physically lost it — I could look down and see that it’s gone.
There would be no denying it.

And yet, even with that clear visual confirmation, my brain would still send signals that my toes itch, or that my foot hurts.
That’s real. It’s called phantom pain .
It’s the brain trying to catch up with a loss that doesn’t make sense yet.

Now, if that’s what happens with a physical loss, imagine what happens with an emotional loss.
When someone we love dies — someone we’ve hugged, laughed with, shared life with —
our brains don’t automatically comprehend that loss either.

It takes time.
It takes recognition.
It takes gathering .
It takes witnessing what happened with the people around us.

The acute loss period is nature’s way of helping us start to process it — so that our minds and hearts can begin to align.
And funerals are a vital part of that.

Without a funeral — or if we wait too long — grief can get stuck.
We stay in a suspended state where the loss never feels real.
We feel isolated.
Friends and family, who wanted to help, assume too much time has passed and that maybe we want to be left alone.

But that’s rarely the truth. Grief is already isolating enough.
And without a service, without a gathering, it gets even lonelier.

A funeral isn’t about finality.
It’s about connection.
It’s about recognition.
It’s about creating a space where grief is acknowledged, and where support is given freely.

And this is exactly why, at Mueller Memorial, we focus so much on the acute loss period.
We aren’t just a place to hold a funeral.
We are your guide through those first fragile days — when every decision feels overwhelming and the world feels different.

We’ve built our entire approach around what we call the Big 3 :

First, we invest in your comfort.
Our spaces aren’t cold or clinical.
They’re warm, welcoming, and human.
Real furniture. Soft lighting. Fireplaces. Spaces that make you feel like you can breathe again — even when you’re carrying the heaviest grief.

Second, we guide families through the acute loss period.
From the moment you call us, we’re with you — helping you understand what needs to be done, what can wait, and what matters most.
You are never alone in those critical early days.

And third, we stay with you after the funeral through our Grief Compass program.
Because grief doesn’t end at the funeral. It keeps unfolding in waves, long after the casseroles stop arriving.
We check in. We offer resources. We offer ways to keep finding your way forward — on your terms.

We’re not just about a day of service.
We’re about walking with you through the hardest chapter of your life. I know planning a funeral can feel overwhelming.
Especially if the death was sudden. Especially if your heart is in shock.

But I want you to hear this:
You don’t have to figure it out on your own.
You don’t have to get it perfect.
What matters most is that you do something to recognize the life of the person who died.

Something real.
Something meaningful.
Something soon — within those first few days when your heart needs it most.

It doesn’t have to be traditional. It doesn’t have to be formal. But it does have to happen. Because grief needs space.
And love needs witnesses.

At Mueller Memorial, we are fiercely family-owned.
That means we answer to you — not to shareholders.
We are rooted in this community.
We are committed to walking with families through grief, not just to the funeral, but beyond it.

So whether you’re planning ahead, or you’re facing a death right now,
whether you know exactly what you want or you don’t even know where to start —
we are here.

To walk with you.
To honor the person you love.
To make sure you never feel like you’re carrying it alone.

Thanks for spending this time with me.
And if you need us — truly — we’ll be right here.

Pizza, Preplanning, and Peace of Mind

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 20:00:45 GMT

Enjoy a relaxed night with great food while learning how to get started with preplanning.

Planning ahead for a funeral isn't always easy to think about, but it's one of the most thoughtful gifts you can give to yourself and your family. By making your funeral arrangements in advance, you ensure your wishes are known and lift a significant burden from your survivors during an incredibly challenging time.

At Mueller Memorial, we understand that discussing these plans can feel overwhelming. That's why we're hosting a relaxed and informative "Pizza & Preplanning" event on Thursday, March 20th, at 6 p.m. , at our White Bear Lake location: 4738 Bald Eagle Ave, White Bear Lake, MN 55110 .

Join us for a casual evening where we'll share how preplanning can:

Ensure Your Wishes Are Known : Clearly outline your preferences to prevent potential family disagreements and provide peace of mind.
Offer Reliable Funding : Learn about securing your plans financially, ensuring your arrangements are honored without unexpected costs.
Protect Assets : With the rising monthly costs of long term elder care, many families find themselves in a Medical Assistance spend-down. Discover the often overlooked advantages of funding funeral plans before applying for MA or Elderly Waiver.
Relieve the Burden from Family : By handling decisions now, you free your loved ones to focus on healing and remembrance when the time comes.

Our preplanning specialist, Annie Saukko, will provide a brief presentation covering these benefits and more. Afterward, enjoy delicious pizza from Pizzeria Pezzo and engage in a Q&A session to address any questions you may have.

This event is free to attend, but registration is required to ensure we have enough pizza and materials for everyone. To reserve your spot, please call 651-661-1505 or sign up here.

Taking the step to plan ahead is a meaningful way to care for yourself and those you love. We look forward to sharing this evening with you.

Where Memories Live On

Fri, 01 Nov 2024 21:43:20 GMT

A New Path to Natural Memorialization with The Spreading Grove at Better Place Forests

Losing a loved one often leaves families with one last task that can feel difficult to complete: finding a meaningful resting place for their ashes.

At Mueller Memorial, we understand the importance of finding the right place at the right time for permanent memorialization and are proud to partner this fall with Better Place Forests to offer The Spreading Grove for serene and natural forest placement of cremated remains.

Located in protected forest land in the St. Croix Valley, this unique memorial space allows families to return ashes to the earth and create a lasting tribute within nature.

The Spreading Grove: A Natural Resting Place

Rather than a traditional headstone or cemetery, families can embrace the beauty of the natural environment and honor their loved ones in an individually dedicated spreading area surrounded by rustic forest.

A small bronze Memorial Marker, bearing your person’s name and life dates, is placed along the forest path. This serves as a gentle guide for visitors, marking each person’s presence along the journey to the grove. Unlike a Memorial Tree, The Spreading Grove offers a simpler option that can be more affordable and still connected to nature.

Why Choose The Spreading Grove?

Affordable and Accessible : With promotional pricing for the first 25 placements at $1,895 rather than the regular price of $2250, The Spreading Grove offers families a more affordable way to establish a lasting tribute in a natural, protected forest.
Personalized Memorial Marker : A bronze marker along the pathway bears your person’s name, honoring their presence in the grove. As the ashes return to nature in the forest floor, each marker serves as a lasting tribute.
Guided Support and Ceremony Options : Families can gather up to 5 people for a self-guided placement with thorough instruction from staff, or choose to add a facilitated ceremony hosted by forest guides, with options for gatherings of 5 to 30+ guests. Both provide an intimate way to gather and honor a loved one’s memory.

How to Begin Your Journey with Mueller Memorial and Better Place Forests

Creating a meaningful memorial doesn’t have to be complicated. We make the process simple and supportive, guiding families through every step. Here’s how you can begin:

Contact Us : Call Mueller Memorial at 651-774-9797 or email us at info@muellermemorial.com to inquire about placement and special pricing in The Spreading Grove.
Arrange Placement : We’ll help you coordinate with Better Place Forests to schedule a dedicated time for spreading ashes. We work with forest staff provide all the guidance needed to make the experience meaningful and personal.
Return Visit : Once the ashes are returned to the earth, a customized forest marker is placed with your loved one’s name. You and your family are welcome to connect with forest staff to return to the forest at any time, finding peace and solace in the beauty of this natural memorial.

A Unique and Exclusive Opportunity

This partnership with Better Place Forests and Interra Green Burial is an exclusive opportunity available through Mueller Memorial. For families looking to complete this final act of remembrance, The Spreading Grove offers a unique option that’s protected, sustainable, and available Spring through Fall —placements are paused in the months when there is standing snow, but visitors are still welcomed.

To celebrate the launch of The Spreading Grove this fall, Better Place Forest and Mueller Memorial are exclusively offering a special rate of $1895 for the first 25 families who choose this memorial option whether at the time of need or for placement of existing cremated remains.

No More “Unfinished Business”

If you’ve been wondering “what can I do with my loved one’s ashes,” but traditional burial or scattering didn’t feel like the right fit, The Spreading Grove may be the natural, meaningful resolution you’re looking for.

Let us help you find peace and closure in a setting that welcomes you back time and time again, ensuring that where memories live on is more than just a sentiment—it’s a promise.

For more details, please reach out to Mueller Memorial today. Our caring team is here to answer any questions and guide you through this meaningful process.

Find Better Place Forests at:
12630 Lakamaga Trail N, Scandia, MN 55047

Make The Spreading Grove your choice for a peaceful, affordable, and everlasting memorial.

A Warning for Our Community

Fri, 14 Jun 2024 20:46:11 GMT

Watch Out for a New Funeral Scam

All of us at Mueller Memorial want to offer this important heads-up for our Twin Cities families. Lately, we’ve heard about some unfortunate scams targeting folks during the already tough time surround the death of a family member or friend, and we want to make sure you’re aware and protected.

What Is This Funeral Scam

Scammers are using recent obituaries to contact families, pretending to be from funeral home staff. They claim you owe another $1,000 (or another amount) for funeral services, dropping the names of the person who died, the funeral home, and even specific funeral directors to seem credible.

Some families have caught on, hung up, and called their funeral provider directly to confirm everything was paid. Sadly, we’ve heard of others having been tricked into sending money to these scammers. This hasn’t happened yet to any family we’ve served, but it’s important that everyone is aware.

There’s another version where scammers ask for a “security deposit” of $1,500 (or more), threatening that if it’s not paid right away, the funeral can’t happen.

How to Stay Safe

We want to help you avoid these scams. Here are some tips from the FTC:

Don’t Rush - Mueller Memorial will never pressure you to act immediately. If someone’s pushing you to pay or share personal info right away, it’s likely a scam.
Contact Us Directly - If you get a sketchy call, hang up and call us using a number you know is legitimate – not one from the caller, even if our name comes up on the caller ID. The phone numbers for Mueller Memorial are 651-774-9797 or 651-429-4944 and those numbers can get you in contact with a funeral director any time.
Watch Out for Abnormal Payment Requests - Scammers often ask for payment via wire transfer, cryptocurrency, or gift cards. Never pay this way, nor take direction over the phone or in person to deposit a check and send money back.

If You Need to Make a Payment Over the Phone

At Mueller Memorial, we keep our billing simple and straightforward. If we’ve called you and on that call you decide to pay part of your bill over the phone, before you supply your credit card number, let us know you’ll hang up and call us right back. (Again, our number is 651-774-9797.) If you do this we will not be offended and we will never try to pressure you to stay on the phone. We want your payment information to be secure. And whenever possible, pay your statement in person at one of our locations.

We’re Here For You

If you ever have doubts or questions, call us directly at 651-774-9797. We’re always here to help. Thank you for letting us be there for you during tough times. Stay safe and watch out for these scammers.

Take care,

The Mueller Memorial Team

Making Realistic Change in 2024

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 23:45:08 GMT

Tips for Incremental Change in the New Year

For the New Year, we often set ambitious goals like eating healthy for every meal or exercising daily but maintaining these resolutions can prove harder than we thought. We all have to acknowledge that change is difficult, especially when coping with emotional challenges like grief. It's important to accept setbacks without judgment and get back on track quickly. But where to start?

How to Discover Your Goals

To discover your goals, start by writing down the answer to this question; if we were meeting here January 1 ^st 2025—and you were to look back over the last year to today – what has to have happened in 2024 for you to feel happy about your progress? This can be personally, professionally, or both. Brainstorm ideas.

Starting Small

Consider these things you’d like to accomplish and pick the one that seems the most important to you. Then create small, practical goals, paced throughout this year, which will help you reach that outcome. The overwhelming nature of life change can make it feel insurmountable, but this written plan serves as a reminder and a motivator, particularly for times enthusiasm dims.

Strategies for Success:

Set Realistic Goals: Consider what you truly want to achieve in the coming year. Set practical, achievable, incremental objectives and associated actions.
Positive Framing: Phrase your goals positively. Instead of negative statements like "Don't be sad," opt for affirmative, identity statements like, "I do one thing weekly that makes me happy."
Try New Things: Challenge yourself to try something new. This can be a small step out of your habits and into engagement. Trying new things benefits both your mental and physical health.
Find a Buddy: Having someone you communicate with about your goals creates accountability. Honesty and steering clear of judgment will help your partnership thrive.
Document Your Journey: Write down your thoughts and goals. This list acts as a map between where you are and where you want to be, as well as a record of your achievements.
Embrace Failure: Don't fear failure. It's a part of the journey toward success. Avoid worrying about moments when your behavior doesn’t align with your goals. Pick up immediately and try again from where you are now.

If you’re at a place where you feel ready for change, approach the year with intention. Understand that happiness, health, or creating anything new is a continuous effort, and small steps can lead to significant changes in your journey toward feeling like you’ve done what you’ve wanted to do.

Mueller Memorial: Best Funeral Home Again and Again

Tue, 31 Oct 2023 20:50:29 GMT

Mueller Memorial Voted Best Funeral Home in Seven Cities

It is with profound gratitude and a deep sense of responsibility that we, at Mueller Memorial Funerals and Cremation, find ourselves celebrating a significant honor once again. For the fourth consecutive year, the discerning readers of The White Bear Press have chosen us as the Best Funeral Home in White Bear Lake and Vadnais Heights. Such consistent recognition speaks volumes about the trust and confidence that the community has in our services, and we do not take this lightly.

But this year, the honor didn't just stop there.

For the first time, the readers of the Hugo Citizen have voted us as the Best Funeral Home in Hugo. This alone would have been a tremendous bit of recognition, but there's more. The readers of the Quad Community Press have also awarded us the title of Best Funeral Home in Centerville, Circle Pines, Lexington, and Lino Lakes.

To be chosen as the best by not just one, but multiple communities, is both humbling and exhilarating. Every city and town has its unique spirit, and to resonate with the hearts of so many speaks to the universality of genuine care, compassion, and dedication provided by the entire team at Mueller Memorial.

Being often recognized as "the funeral home with the bar" speaks to our unique approach to memorial events, ensuring every memory shared and every story told is in an atmosphere of warmth, welcoming, and comfort. It's a blend of tradition and innovation that only Mueller Memorial can provide.

Part of our commitment to the communities we serve is our dedication to new options like green funerals. As more families seek environmentally-friendly alternatives, we're proud to offer the Interra Green Burial service, a testament to our adaptability and respect for individual wishes.

The joy of being recognized as the best in multiple communities is immense. Yet, it is the relationships we've built, the stories we've become a part of, and the legacies we've helped honor that truly fill our hearts with gratitude. To be a part of so many lives across three generations is an achievement we cherish deeply.

From the very beginning, our mission at Mueller Memorial has been clear: to serve families with the love and respect during their most challenging times. We understand that entrusting someone with the final rites and memories of a loved one is a sacred responsibility. That's why every gesture, every word spoken, and every service provided has been with the intent of offering solace, comfort, and support.

Being voted the best is not just about recognition; it's about the relationships we've forged, the stories we've shared, and the lives we've touched. It's a testament to our unwavering commitment and the deep connections we've established with the communities we serve.

To all the readers who voted for us, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you. Your votes are not merely ticks in a box; they are endorsements of trust and appreciation. Every time you choose Mueller Memorial, you're entrusting us with the cherished memories of your loved ones. We promise to always honor that trust with our highest standard of service.

Looking ahead, we pledge to continue our journey of compassion, innovation, and excellence. While awards are an acknowledgment of our work, the real reward is the privilege of serving our community in its moments of need. We're here for you today, tomorrow, and always.

In gratitude,

The Entire Team at Mueller Memorial Funerals and Cremation

New Scam Targets Bereaved Families

Wed, 02 Aug 2023 21:29:59 GMT

Protecting Your Peace During Times of Grief

An alert came through this morning from the International Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral Association (ICCFA) of a reprehensible new scam aimed at taking advantage of bereaved families.

Scammers have developed a scheme that specifically targets families in mourning who have recently arranged funeral and cemetery services. This heartless fraud involves monitoring recent obituaries, gleaning names of family members and the funeral home they used, and then making contact with the bereaved families.

These criminals then pose as an employee of the funeral home or cemetery mentioned in the obituary. Spoofing software is often used to make their phone number appear as if they are calling from a legitimate business. They reach out to the family under the guise of addressing an issue with the credit card used for payment or to request additional money to keep the funeral arrangements on schedule.

There have been reports from funeral homes to the ICCFA of this scam being deployed in Pennsylvania, California, and, most recently, Ohio. There was even a case where this happened twice to one funeral home, although, thankfully, the families contacted the funeral home and reported the issue to the credit card company after becoming suspicious.

To ensure you and your loved ones remain safe and secure, we would like to provide some helpful tips to avoid falling victim to such scams:

Confirm Independently : If you receive a call asking for additional payment or claiming a problem with your credit card, hang up and call back the funeral home on their official number to verify the claim. Mueller Memorial's number in St Paul is 651-774-9797 or 651-429-4944 in White Bear Lake.
Stay Private : Avoid sharing personal or financial information over the phone unless you've made the call to a number you know is trustworthy.
Be Wary of Urgency : Scammers often create a sense of urgency to pressure you into making a quick decision. Take your time, especially when it involves your finances.
Check Your Accounts Regularly : Regularly monitor your credit card and bank accounts for any unauthorized charges or suspicious activity.
Report Suspicious Activity : If you suspect a scam, report it to your funeral home, local law enforcement, and possibly your state's attorney general or the Federal Trade Commission.

We will do everything we can to look out for you and your family, but this heartless scam is specifically trying to exploit family members whose critical thinking may be clouded by grief. Together, we can prevent these scammers from taking advantage of your family at its most vulnerable moments.

Your peace of mind is our priority at Mueller Memorial.

Take care and stay safe,

The Mueller Memorial Team

What is Green Burial?

scott@muellermemorial.com (Scott Mueller) — Mon, 31 Jul 2023 20:48:37 GMT

Knowing your options for natural burial.

**Green Burial: An Eco-Friendly Guide to Farewell**

In recent years, there has been a growing awareness of the environmental impact of traditional burial practices, leading many individuals to seek eco-conscious alternatives for their final farewell. Green burial, also known as natural burial, has emerged as a sustainable and environmentally friendly funeral practice that harmonizes with nature, leaving a minimal ecological footprint. In this blog post, we will explore what green burial is, its benefits for the environment, and how Interra Green Burial, a signature service of Mueller Memorial in the Twin Cities, stands as a trusted service provider for these eco-conscious options.

**What is Green Burial?**

Green burial is an ancient practice that has gained renewed popularity as society strives to reduce its environmental impact. Unlike conventional burials that often involve embalming and non-biodegradable caskets, green burials aim to allow the body to return naturally to the earth, fostering a seamless integration with the ecosystem. By using sustainable materials and natural processes, this eco-conscious funeral practice promotes the restoration and preservation of the environment.

One of the key aspects of green burial is the absence of toxic chemicals such as formaldehyde, which are typically used in embalming. Instead, the body is cared for with natural methods, ensuring a gentler impact on the environment. The deceased is placed in a biodegradable casket or shroud, allowing them to decompose naturally, thus enriching the soil and supporting new life.

**The Benefits of Green Burial for the Environment**

Green burial offers several significant benefits for the environment, making it an attractive option for individuals seeking an eco-friendly farewell. Firstly, it reduces the use of harmful chemicals, such as embalming fluids, that can seep into the soil and potentially contaminate nearby water sources. This practice contributes to the conservation of natural habitats and helps protect the biodiversity of local ecosystems.

Moreover, green burial minimizes carbon emissions associated with the manufacturing and transportation of conventional caskets. By utilizing biodegradable materials like wicker, bamboo, or sustainably harvested wood, the carbon footprint is substantially reduced. As a result, green burial serves as a sustainable alternative that aligns with the values of eco-conscious individuals concerned about their impact on the planet.

**Interra Green Burial: Pioneering the Eco-Conscious Path**

Mueller Memorial, a trusted funeral service provider in the Twin Cities, has been a pioneer in embracing green burial as a signature offering through Interra Green Burial. Their commitment to sustainability and environmental consciousness sets them apart as a trailblazer in the funeral industry.

Interra Green Burial focuses on creating a holistic experience that respects both the deceased and the environment. Their knowledgeable and compassionate staff guide families through the process, ensuring that every detail aligns with their eco-friendly values and personal wishes.

One of the essential elements of Interra Green Burial is the selection of eco-conscious caskets and shrouds. They offer a variety of natural materials, including woven willow caskets and biodegradable linen shrouds, each carefully sourced to meet the highest environmental standards. These choices allow individuals to choose an option that resonates with their values, ensuring a personalized and meaningful farewell for their loved ones.

Additionally, Interra Green Burial encourages the use of existing family plots or dedicated green burial cemeteries. By opting for a dedicated green burial site, individuals contribute to the preservation of natural landscapes and support the establishment of protected green spaces for future generations to enjoy.

**Creating a Lasting Legacy through Green Burial**

Choosing green burial not only provides an environmentally friendly alternative for end-of-life arrangements but also allows individuals to create a lasting legacy rooted in sustainability and environmental stewardship. By selecting Interra Green Burial, families ensure that their loved one's final journey becomes a celebration of life and nature, fostering a connection with the earth that endures long after the farewell.

In conclusion, green burial is an eco-friendly guide to farewell, offering individuals the opportunity to embrace a more sustainable and environmentally conscious approach to the end-of-life journey. With Interra Green Burial, a signature service of Mueller Memorial in the Twin Cities, families can trust in a dedicated provider who shares their commitment to preserving and protecting the planet. By choosing green burial, individuals can leave a legacy of environmental consciousness, contributing to the preservation of the earth for generations to come.

Dust to Dust

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 03:33:43 GMT

Minnesotan’s dying wish to be composted possible with cross-country partnership

Natural Organic Reduction, often called human composting, is not currently legal in Minnesota but with the help of local funeral service provider Interra Green Burial by Mueller Memorial and their partner in Washington state, Steve Wheeler is getting his dying wish.

After 20 years as a social studies teacher Steve Wheeler’s existing medical condition made it impossible for him to continue in the job he loved. Shortly after taking his medical leave, he received a devastating terminal diagnosis of metastatic cancer. Eventually this got him thinking about his own final disposition.

“At some point I just started thinking. There’s gotta be something different than dropping this big box in the ground, in a vault, with a body that has all these chemicals and stuff in it. There had to be something better.”

After listening to a panel show in his car and hearing the term “human composting,” Steve started looking into natural organic reduction (NOR). He quickly discovered NOR is not legal in Minnesota, so he started researching green burial as an alternative and had a hard time finding a funeral home even willing to provide a truly green burial.

It wasn’t until he called Interra Green Burial by Mueller Memorial and mentioned what he really wanted was human composting that he finally found a funeral service willing and able to work within the laws in Minnesota to arrange for NOR in one of the six states where it is legal. “And all of a sudden this door that I thought had been shut, had opened back up.”

Interra had sent one of their staff, Taelor Johnson, to Colorado in March 2023 for the first ever Body Composting Conference. At the conference she was able to meet several NOR providers and created a partnership with Return Home, a funeral home in Washington state which only provides NOR, or terramation as they call it. So when Steve called Interra, the means to provide NOR were already in place.

Steve has prearranged and prepaid for his transportation to Washington and his disposition there. His family has decided that the cubic yard of compost produced will be added to a restoration preserve in Washington state. In the meantime, on Saturday July 8 ^th they plan to host a living wake.

In the 2023-2024 session of the Minnesota Legislature, companion bills were introduced in both the State House and Senate seeking to legalize natural organic reduction. With a busy legislative session in 2023 this issue got pushed to 2024, when it will hopefully be approved.

To find out more about Interra Green Burial, a signature service of family owned funeral home Mueller Memorial, please visit interraburial.com

Twin Cities Memorial Day Events 2023

Tue, 04 Apr 2023 19:13:18 GMT

Memorial Day Events In St Paul, MN

Memorial Day Events MN

Mueller Memorial is happy to provide a convenient guide to Memorial Day events in the Twin Cities. Most cemeteries host some sort of service to commemorate the servicemen and women who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country.

Dates and Times

Every effort is made to get confirmation from the cemeteries for the exact date and times for services, and the times listed here will be noted as "confirmed" as we hear the 2023 Memorial Day service time from each cemetery staff. Until we receive confirmation, services we know are taking place but do not yet have a confirmed start time will be noted as "expected" (based on past service times). We will update the list as times are confirmed. Please check back for updates and call the cemetery to confirm times.

Decoration Day at Fort Snelling

Historic Fort Snelling | 200 Tower Ave, St Paul, MN 55111

May 27-29, 10AM to 4PM
Cost: TBD

Spend Memorial Day weekend at Historic Fort Snelling and experience how Minnesota celebrated “Decoration Day,” an early style of what we know as Memorial Day today.

Throughout the weekend the site will host programming on the entire 23 acre site from the new prairie landscape, inside the Plank Museum & Visitor Center and of course the historic reconstructed Fort Snelling.

On Saturday they will be rededicating the reconstructed 1820s fort flag pole. Historically the flag pole lasted about 10-15 years before the army had to replace it. A short ceremony will be held on Saturday morning to put up the large garrison flag for the first time since 2021.

On Monday Historic Fort Snelling will host “Decoration Day.” Staff will be dressed in 1890s military costuming to present “Decoration Day” speeches that reflected on past conflicts, especially the American Civil War, commonly heard during the late 1800s.

For more info, visit mnhs.org/event/9806 or call 612-726-1171

Fort Snelling National Cemetery — Memorial Day Service
Ft. Snelling National Cemetery | 7601 34th Ave, Minneapolis, MN 55450

May 29, Ceremony in the late morning, usually around 10AM

As of page publication on April 4 2023, Ft Snelling had yet to officially announce the Memorial Day schedule of events but attendees can certainly expect a ceremony recognizing the service of all veterans who fell in the line of duty. There is usually music from the 34 ^th Infantry “Red Bulls,” a wreath presentation, veterans parade, rifle volley, and Taps. They expect many people, so plan to arrive early if you’d like to secure a seat. You’re also welcome to bring your own lawn chair if you’d like to arrive closer to the start time. For more information, visit cem.va.gov/cems/nchp/ftsnelling.asp or call 612-726-1127.

Local Cemeteries Offering Memorial Day Services May 29th 2023:
Times listed are noted as confirmed (by cemetery staff) or expected (based on past service times), but will be updated as times are confirmed. Please check back for updates and call the cemetery to confirm times.

Roselawn Cemetery , 803 Larpenteur Ave W, Roseville 651-489-1720 Confirmed events: Organ concert and refreshments 11AM to 1PM on Sat 27, Sun 28 & Mon 29 as well as a $5 picnic lunch available those dates 11AM-2PM; Memorial Day Service at 10 a.m. on Mon. May 29 only, and it is recommended you bring a lawn chair or blanket.
Calvary Cemetery , 753 Front Ave., St Paul 651-488-8866 Service expected to be at 10AM
Elmhurst Cemetery , 1510 Dale St N., St Paul 651-489-1707 Service expected to be at 9AM
Evergreen Memorial Gardens , 3400 Century Ave N, Mahtomedi 952-890-9291 Service expected to be at 11AM
Forest Lawn Memorial Park , 1800 Edgerton St., Maplewood 651-776-6420 Service expected to be at 11AM
Oakland Cemetery , 927 Jackson St, St Paul 651-224-2366 Service expected to be at 10AM
Resurrection Cemetery , 2101 Lexington Ave S., Mendota Heights 651-454-5072 Service time is confirmed at 10AM near the chapel mausoleum.
St. Mary of the Lake Cemetery , 1709 Stillwater St, White Bear Lake 651-429-5378 Service expected to be at 9AM
Union Cemetery , 2505 Minnehaha Ave E., St Paul 651-739-0466 Service expected to be at 10AM

CPR Certified for American Heart Month

Wed, 01 Mar 2023 00:04:17 GMT

Mueller Memorial Funeral Home Gets CPR Certified

When a funeral home signs its staff up for CPR certification the joke pretty much writes itself, "By the time they get to you isn't it a little late for CPR?" But the idea behind Mueller Memorial Funeral Home and Cremation hiring a Basic Life Support (BLS) instructor isn't for the decedent, but rather for their survivors.

Anne Meyer, office manager of the White Bear Lake funeral home and former CPR instructor, had the idea that the staff get certified. Her thought was, so many people of all ages, abilities, and conditions come through our doors for arrangements, visitations, and funerals it only makes sense that we be prepared for an emergency.

Becoming CPR certified took on special significance as one of the Mueller staff prepared to have heart valve replacement surgery. The decision was made to get training on the schedule and February, being American Heart Month, seemed a perfect time.

The task to find an instructor fell to Communication Director, Taelor Johnson who maintains her CPR certification biannually as a non-practicing registered dental hygienist. She made arrangements with In-Pulse CPR, a company from whom she had received training in the past, who are authorized by the American Heart Association (AHA) to provide public and private BLS training and certification.

Mueller staff members were also encouraged to invite a significant other, roommate, or friend because Mueller Memorial is very interested in having someone trained ready to intervene if one of our team experiences an emergency outside of the workplace.

So, at 3pm on Tuesday February 21st 2023 the staff gathered with In-Pulse instructor Caleb Smithberg for a four-hour training session made up of seminar, workbook, practical instruction, and skills testing. The procedure for trained individuals administering CPR is 30 compressions and 2 rescue breaths, at a compression of 100-120 beats per minute. That’s like the rhythm of the songs “Stayin’ Alive,” “The Imperial March” from Star Wars, Beyonce’s “Crazy In Love”, or “Another One Bites the Dust”, though the latter seems a little too morbid for the situation.

Other key takeaways, are that early activation of emergency services and early intervention with an automated external defibrillator (AED) are critical, and to prioritize quality compressions rather than fixating on breaths.

The Mueller Memorial funeral home staff ended the evening certified in choking intervention for adults of all sizes, children, and infants; administering one person and team CPR for adults, children, and infants; as well as use of an AED.

Lingering supply chain issues are making purchase of an AED challenging right now, but Mueller Memorial plans to have an AED at our funeral homes in St. Paul and White Bear Lake as soon as we’re able.

Learning CPR is a gift you can give to the people around you and is another way we can serve the many families and visitors who are often here in a high emotional stress situation. Know that if you’re with us and an emergency strikes, the staff at Mueller Memorial is ready.

How Could I Be So Wrong?

Tue, 13 Sep 2022 19:35:56 GMT

No one is immune from grief. Not even me.

All the time I talk about how grief is non-negotiable. It doesn’t matter how smart you are or how familiar you are with it, when someone you love dies your life, your clarity, your decision-making can all get cloudy, and I am no exception.

On August 4 ^th my mom, Connie passed away. She was a mother of nine, and with my dad founded Mueller Memorial. Mom was a sparkling force of nature and a consummate entertainer.

If ever you sat with her over dinner or drinks, you knew how she could capture the interest and attention of everyone nearby with her animated stories of social adventure. She had a gift for making everyone feel like they were a part of the story with intent eye contact and affirming nods. Even near the end of her life when parts of her short term memory faded, she could still regale you with stories of late nights closing down the Copa Cabana with Al in New York City. It’s hard to imagine how our lives will be without her.

When Mom died, my wife, Heidi and I were out of town–like across an ocean out of town–and though I deal with loss and grief every day, the cloudiness of bereavement hit me too. I knew I would need to cut my trip short to come home for the funeral, but I also somehow got it into my head that Heidi should stay behind and finish the trip. She thought this was a bad idea, but I spent concerted effort to try and convince her to finish the trip and that is was okay to miss the funeral.

You read that right, I, a funeral director of 40 years who deeply believes in the value and importance of gathering for a funeral, thought that my wife didn’t need to be with me at my own mother’s funeral.

When I texted my stepdaughters, Annie and Taelor to tell them the plan and try to get them to help me convince Heidi to stay abroad their responses were clear as a bell; Heidi was right, she needed to come home too.

Of course they were right, it was totally unreasonable for me to think that I wouldn’t need the support of my wife during Mom’s funeral. It was unreasonable to think Heidi wouldn’t need the opportunity to also grieve with our friends and family. But grief is not reasonable. So if you ever made a decision or said something you regret during your grief experience, be gentle with yourself. Bereavement makes it really hard to think clearly and make rational decisions, even for me.

Thanks to our amazing team at Mueller Memorial and my wonderful siblings, we were able to give Mom a perfect send off and it meant so much to be there with my whole family and of course, especially with Heidi.

Why Do We Need a Grief Awareness Day?

Tue, 30 Aug 2022 17:30:41 GMT

What is Grief Awareness Day for?

Since 2014, August 30 ^th has been recognized as National Grief Awareness Day and creates visibility for the issues and experiences surrounding bereavement. In Mueller Memorial’s Grief Compass aftercare program we often address how challenging it can be to openly discuss grief in a culture that is very death-averse.

Having a national day of awareness gives us an opportunity to reflect on our grief experiences and explore how we might help others through the lessons grief has taught us. Sharing wisdom you’ve gained can be part of how you make meaning of your loss. You could use August 30 ^th as a day to reach out to someone you know who may be new to bereavement, and offer them an open and listening ear.

Grief Awareness Day could also be a day you reflect on how your life has changed since you have experienced loss. Depending on how much time has passed and how you’re feeling about your loss, this reflection could be as simple as assessing the effects loss has had on your life and recognizing challenges you’ve overcome and identifying obstacles you have yet to conquer.

If there is some distance from your loss and you find yourself in a place where you could be able to see what you’ve gained from grief, some questions you could ask yourself are; What can I do to help create meaning from my loss? How has my loss changed me for the better? How can my loss make the world or my community a better place? What relationships has my loss created or improved? How has my loss made me stronger? How has it made me wiser?

We often think, “all of this pain can’t be for nothing,” and this sort of reflection on National Grief Awareness Day (or whenever you’re ready for it) can help you identify the growth that you’ve experienced as a result of your grief and maybe even help someone else in need.

If you’d like more information on best practices for thoughtfully supporting someone through grief visit our Grief Compass article at griefcompass.com/griefsupport

Blood Drive June 14th

Tue, 17 May 2022 16:56:55 GMT

Sign up to donate on June 14th at Mueller Memorial

Every two seconds someone in the United States needs blood, and a single donation can help save the life of up to three people.

The pandemic has meant that there are fewer donation events and those events are only able to safely accommodate a portion the donors that they used to. This means that in the US there is currently a critical blood shortage. In an effort to help, Mueller Memorial is partnering with the American Red Cross to host a blood drive on Tuesday, June 14th from 9AM - 3PM at our location at 4738 Bald Eagle Av e. in White Bear Lake, MN. Our reception space, where the drive is held, is bright, comfortable and inviting.

Per Red Cross guidelines we will be able to safely and spaciously accommodate 36 appointments throughout the day. So, make sure to sign up soon to get the time that you want. You can easily make your required appointment by clicking here then selecting the Mueller Memorial drive. You can also direct friends or family to muellermemorial.com/blooddrive to make an appointment. Unfortunately, walk-ins cannot be received the day of the drive.

To be eligible to donate you must:

Have waited at least 56 days since your last donation
Be in good health and feeling well
Be at least 16 years old
Weigh at least 110 lbs.

Find out more about donation eligibility at the Red Cross website .

We know that no one wants to get a prick in the arm, but there is no replacement for human blood donation. Every day–every two seconds–patients with cancer, trauma, sickle cell anemia, burns, and other chronic illnesses rely on lifesaving treatment that can ONLY come from donors like you. It costs you nothing and to them it means everything. If you are able, please sign up for an appointment today.

How to get reimbursed for COVID 19 funeral expenses

Tue, 30 Mar 2021 17:03:33 GMT

How to get reimbursed for COVID 19 funeral expenses

What is COVID-19 Funeral Assistance?

We’ve had several questions here at Mueller Memorial about FEMA reimbursing funeral expenses in response to the COVID-19 pandemic and wanted to let you know that it is true, this is happening.

Under the Coronavirus Response and Relief Supplemental Appropriations Act of 2021 and the American Rescue Plan Act of 2021, FEMA will provide financial assistance for COVID-19-related funeral expenses incurred after January 20, 2020, in the amount of the actual funeral expenses, up to $9,000.

Members of our staff recently joined an informational call on this topic with Lesley Witter, Senior Vice President, Advocacy for the National Funeral Directors’ Association and FEMA’s Federal Coordinating Officer, Nancy Casper.

Below is Mueller Memorial Funeral and Cremation Services’ general summary of that information combined with additional information found on FEMA’s official website: https://www.fema.gov/disasters/coronavirus/economic/funeral-assistance

Who is Eligible?

In short, the applicant (survivor) must be a U.S. citizen, who has documentation that they paid for funeral services for someone who died after Jan 20 2020 with COVID-19 listed as either a primary or a contributing factor on the decedent’s death certificate.

There can generally be only one application and one payment per decedent. The person who applies must be able to prove that they paid for all or part of the services. There can also be one co-applicant.*(more below)

To be eligible for funeral assistance, you must meet these conditions:

The death must have occurred in the United States, including the U.S. territories, and the District of Columbia.
The death certificate must indicate the death was attributed to COVID-19 as a primary or contributing factor.
The applicant must be a U.S. citizen, non-citizen national, or qualified alien who incurred funeral expenses after January 20, 2020.
There is no requirement for the deceased person to have been a U.S. citizen, non-citizen national, or qualified alien.

What funeral expenses are covered?

COVID-19 Funeral Assistance will assist with expenses for funeral services and interment or cremation. Any receipts received for expenses that are not related to funeral services will not be determined eligible expenses. Expenses for funeral services and interment or cremation typically include, but are not limited to :

Transportation for up to two individuals to identify the deceased individual (not to travel to the funeral)
Transfer of remains
Casket or urn
Burial plot or cremation niche
Gravesite opening and closing fees
Marker or headstone
Clergy or officiant services
Arrangement of the funeral ceremony
Use of funeral home equipment or staff
Cremation or interment costs
Costs associated with producing and certifying multiple death certificates
Additional expenses mandated by any applicable local or state government laws or ordinances

It was suggested by Nancy Casper from FEMA that you wait to apply for assistance until you have all eligible receipts. So if you have yet to make a final purchase of a grave marker or headstone, or if you delayed hosting a service or Mass, wait until you incur and pay for those expenses before applying for assistance. Keeping in mind that applying for assistance does not guarantee you will receive it, in part or in full.

How to Apply

*****

YOU CAN ONLY APPLY BY PHONE AT:

COVID-19 Funeral Assistance Line Number

Applications began on April 12, 2021

844-684-6333 | TTY: 800-462-7585

Hours of Operation:

Monday - Friday

8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Central Time

*****

In April 2021, FEMA began accepting applications. There is currently no deadline for applications to be submitted and it sounds like it will be continuing through 2025. FEMA has set up a dedicated toll-free phone number that can be used to apply for funeral assistance. You will need to call 844-684-6333 to get an application completed with help from FEMA's representatives.

No online applications will be accepted.
Multilingual services are available and the TTY number is 800-462-7585

The only way to begin the application process is over the phone at 844-684-6333

Once an applicant has applied for COVID-19 Funeral Assistance and is provided an application number, they will provide supporting documentation to FEMA a few ways:

Upload to their DisasterAssistance.gov account (fastest)
Fax documents
Mail documents (slowest)

What Documents Do I Need?

If you had COVID-19 funeral expenses and plan to apply for assistance in April 2021, FEMA encourages you to keep and gather documentation. Types of information should include:

An official death certificate that attributes the death directly or indirectly to COVID-19 and shows that the death occurred in the United States, including the U.S. territories, and the District of Columbia.
Funeral expenses documents (receipts, funeral home contract, etc.) that includes:
o the applicant’s name
o the deceased person’s name
o the amount of funeral expenses
o the dates the funeral expenses happened
Mueller Memorial will provide the individual(s) who paid for the funeral expenses through us with documents meeting these requirements.
Proof of funds received from other sources specifically for use toward funeral costs. FEMA is not able to duplicate benefits received from burial or funeral insurance, financial assistance received from voluntary agencies, government agencies, county assistance, or other sources. (You do NOT need to report funds received from general life insurance which were not specifically assigned or designated to pay for funeral expenses.)

How are Funds Received

If you are eligible for funeral assistance you will receive a check by mail, or funds by direct deposit, depending on which option you choose when you apply for assistance.

What About Fraud?

The only way to begin the application process is by an applicant calling FEMA's phone number at 844-684-6333. FEMA will not call you first.

FEMA takes many actions to prevent fraud, but be aware that predatory criminals are already attempting to defraud survivors. Ways you can help avoid fraud:

Be very critical of anyone offering to help you. No one from FEMA will reach out offering to register you for funeral assistance, and FEMA will NOT contact people prior to them registering for assistance.
FEMA will not contact you via email before you register.
FEMA will not call you before you register.
There will be no online registration. You will register by phone and only submit documents online AFTER you’ve registered.
When looking for information online look for the fema.gov web address
Do not disclose information such as the name, birth date, or social security number of any deceased family member to any unsolicited telephone calls or e-mails from anyone claiming to be a federal employee or from FEMA.

The death certificate doesn’t attribute the death to COVID-19. How do I get a death certificate amended?

A funeral home or cremation provider has no control over what is listed as the cause of death on a death certificate.

If accurate and necessary, it is possible to change or amend a death certificate. This process starts with contacting the person who certified the death. This may be a treating doctor, a coroner or a medical examiner, and their name and address is on the death certificate. Applicants may present evidence to them to support the claim the death was attributable to COVID-19. This process cannot be initiated nor resolved by your funeral home.

* Someone else helped me pay for funeral expenses. Can they apply for COVID-19 Funeral Assistance?

FEMA will generally only provide COVID-19 Funeral Assistance to one applicant per deceased individual.

To be approved for reimbursement of funeral expenses due to a COVID-19 fatality, you must have incurred funeral expenses for the deceased individual and have documentation (receipts, funeral home contracts, etc.) showing your name as the responsible party.

We recognize that multiple individuals may have contributed to funeral expenses for one deceased individual. FEMA will work with applicants in these situations and those who submit multiple receipts for funeral expenses when their name does not appear on the receipt.

If more than one individual contributed toward funeral expenses, they must register with FEMA under the same application as the applicant and co-applicant, or the first applicant that submits all required documentation will be awarded COVID-19 Funeral Assistance for the deceased individual. No more than one co-applicant can be included on an application.

What is Mueller Memorial Doing?

We have gone through all files and receipts from Jan 20, 2020 through today and, to the best of our ability, prepared FEMA-conforming funeral expense documentation for families who experienced a death officially attributed to COVID-19. On April 9th 2020 we mailed those documents out to the people who paid for those COVID-related funeral expenses.

Mueller Memorial will, of course, not charge a fee for preparing this documentation and per FEMA regulation, no funeral home or cremation provider has the right to charge you for that.

We are aware that there are often different people within a family who; signed the contract, are recognized are the next of kin, or had power of attorney, etc. but FEMA’s position seems clear that the individual who paid for the services is the one eligible for financial assistance.

As a courtesy, we have proactively made our best effort to reach out to all the individuals who paid for services resulting from COVID-19. However, in any circumstance and especially if we do not have adequate contact information, it is entirely the responsibility of the person wishing to apply for funeral assistance to request funeral expense documentation from Mueller Memorial by calling us at 651-774-9797 or emailing us at info@muellermemorial.com

FEMA is very clear that funeral providers, including Mueller Memorial, are not allowed to apply for funeral expense reimbursement on a family’s behalf.

Voted Best Funeral Home

Fri, 20 Nov 2020 18:31:47 GMT

Best White Bear Lake Funeral Home

Thank you to everyone who cast their ballots in the 2020 White Bear Press’ Best Of Contest and voted Mueller Memorial the Best Funeral Home in White Bear Lake!

We were informed in time to notify our staff on October 20th that the announcement would be coming in the White Bear Press the next day. We gathered the staff for a little (socially distanced) reveal and celebration.

The Press’ publisher, Carter Johnson and Press marketing executive, Patty Steele stopped by to watch the reveal and deliver a plaque commemorating Mueller Memorial Funeral and Cremation Services' win. And because no celebration is complete without a sweet treat, we had cupcakes made at Grandma’s Bakery which said, “we’re the best when for things are the worst.”

We want to sincerely thank all the people who voted and the families who time and again send us your notes of thanks. The whole team at Mueller Memorial works every day to make sure that the friends and neighbors we serve feel cared for at what is often the worst time in their lives.

Winning an award that is voted on by the community means we’re doing something right, and that recognition is truly an honor. Thank you!

Honoring Lives of Service

Fri, 25 Sep 2020 17:45:10 GMT

Honoring Lives of Service

There are few cultures that honor their fallen quite like the military, police, and firefighters. We were sad but honored to recently be charged with taking both a Firefighter and a Marine to their final resting places.

If you’ve never been on a passenger plane carrying a fallen Marine home, you’ve probably not experienced the honors performed for the solider. Mandy, Dave, and Taelor from our staff joined Gabriel Clark’s family on the tarmac at Minneapolis St. Paul International Airport to return him to his family.

Before a Marine is taken off the plane, the pilot announces to the other passengers that they will have to wait for the soldier to disembark first. The pilot comes down to tarmac to salute the flag-draped casket that comes off the plane. Family stands alongside the towering passenger jet and six Marines in full dress march to the plane with sharp precision and carry the casket to the funeral vehicle. The active duty Marines then followed the deceased to carry him into the funeral home.

When an active duty St. Paul Firefighter passed away, groups of four firefighters in full dress came to Mueller Memorial in four-hour shifts to stand guard over their fallen brother until he was laid to rest.

On the day of his funeral, he traveled from the funeral home to the church with a tremendous escort of fire trucks three blocks long. At the church there were ladders extended to the sky to fly a billowing American flag and at the conclusion of services, his flag-draped casket was lifted by six firefighters in full dress onto the back bed of a Saint Paul fire truck.

These traditions allow fellow members of their organizations to show their honor and respect for a life sacrificed in service. They are lost but never forgotten.

What's It Like at the State Fair Food Parade

Sat, 22 Aug 2020 17:24:41 GMT

Here’s how it went, from someone who attended.

HOTTAKE

Bring a to-go bag because delicious food items come at ya pretty fast. Great for Fair food lovers.

Stats

We were two Fair-loving adults with empty stomachs and a Saturday 9:00am ticket. That is the first time slot of the day so that may have factored in to the speed of our progress.

How long does the Minnesota State Fair Food Parade take?

We were done and headed home in about an hour and ten minutes after our reservation time. A friend, author Julie Kramer (read her books they’re awesome), went Friday at 11am and it took her about an hour and a half. Point is, with the number of tickets that they’ve sold, it seems it’s going pretty darn quickly. If (and that’s a big IF) they sell more tickets it might slow things down and that might be an okay thing.)

What’s traffic like getting to the Food Parade?

There’s apparently construction on Como to the south of the Fair, but we came from the north down Snelling and had zero delays getting to the entrance at Snelling and Hoyt. You wind around the property a bit so there is PLENTY of room if any backups were to happen. We got there 15 mins before our reservation time which was about perfect. Check in was a breeze and we lined up with the other cars.

Pro Tip

When you get there you can become a Friend of the Fair by supporting the State Fair Foundation and get a car flag. At the $100 donor level you also get early access to purchasing great seats for the 2021 Grandstand shows. If you were a 2020 Friend of the Fair you got access Food Parade tickets a day before they went on sale to the public. The point is, The Foundation hooks up their Friends. If you can afford it, it’s worth it to join and it supports the Fair. Win-Win.

While you wait

Folks from Second Harvest Heartland come by with carts and pick up your donations. You’re about to glutton yourself out on a bunch of food, seem like a fine opportunity to help families struggling with hygiene or food insecurities. Here is a list of SHH’s greatest needs to help you figure out what to bring to donate. We brought diapers and wipes.

The Menu

Use this brief wait time to review your Food Parade menu and make a plan. Two people probably cannot eat something from every stand; you need strategy people!

We Quickly Had More Food Than We Could Eat

We wanted items from seven of the first eight stands:

· Turkey To Go 1/3 lb. Sandwich

· Bag of Tom Thumb Donuts

· 32 oz. Fresh French Fries

· Mouth Trap Cheese Curds

· Giant Egg Roll On-a-Stick

· Pronto Pup

· Vanilla Malt

Because one person is constantly paying attention keeping up with the flow of traffic and buying food, there’s not a lot of time to invest in getting two hands around a sandwich. So the driver was in charge of driving and buying and the passenger was strategically arranging where to put the food and deciding what to eat.

What Got Eaten Right Away

So the way it shook out is that finger foods–donuts, fries, and cheese curds–were tapped into before the sandwich. In fact we ended up putting the Turkey To Go sandwich, Giant Egg Roll, and Duck Wontons directly into the padded grocery bag we brought as a warming bag (again, great tip Julie) and didn’t get around to eating them until we got home.

Some folks did find a little bit of road to stop and focus on eating their food but we’re rule followers and kept moving.

If I had a piece of advice for the AMAZING people who put this together and made something great out of nothing at all, it would be to offer cars the opportunity to break out for a couple of minutes so drivers can eat. But the alternative of having too many cars and waiting hours in line would’ve been terrible. They erred in the right direction. In my opinion, that knows nothing about the logistics that would be involved in doing this, I think they could open up some more tickets for the next two weekends and slow it down a little.

Final Thoughts

All things considered, I’m thrilled to fire up the air fryer over the next couple of days and crisp up the golden fried leftovers we brought home with us. And boy was my neighbor thrilled when we dropped of a 2/3 full bucket of Sweet Martha’s for she and her family.

Getting to attend the Minnesota State Fair Food Parade was a bright spot in what otherwise would’ve felt like an incomplete end to the summer. Well done Minnesota State Fair!

Complete 2020 MN State Fair Food Parade Menu

From someone who spent the time to type it all out in case you prefer to read it than look at a picture. (Things we got are bold.)

Turkey To Go by MN Turkey Growers

· 1/3 lb. Turkey Sandwich $9

· 12 lb. Turkey Sandwich $11

· Turkey Leg $10

· Coke, Diet Coke, Mnt Dew, Sprite, or Fanta $2.50

Tom Thumb Donuts

· Mini Donuts $6

· Coke, Diet Coke, Water $3

Fresh French Fries

· French Fries, 32 oz. $9

· French Fries 88 oz. $14

· Coke, Diet Coke, Lemonade, Water $2.50

Mouth Trap Cheese Curds

· Bucket $17

Sweets & Treats

· Jumbo Cotton Candy 8$

· Popcorn $5

· Caramel Apple $5

· Candy Apple $5

· Caramel Corn $5

· Sno Cone $4

· Water $3

Que Viet

· Giant Egg Roll On-a-Stick $8

· Garlic Cream Cheese Wontons $8

Pronto Pups

· Regular Pronto Pup $5

· Coke, Diet Coke, Water $3

Dairy Goodness Bar by ADA of the Midwest

· Malts: Chocolate, Vanilla , or Vanilla with Caramel Sauce $5

Butcher Boys/Pitchfork Sausage

· London Broil Steak on a Roll w/ onions peppers & cheese $10

· Italian Sausage On-a-Fork $8

· Italian Sausage Sandwich w/ onions and peppers $10

· Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Water $3

West Indies Soul Food

· Jamaican Patties: Chicken or Beef $6

· 2 Jumbo Jerk Chicken Wings $7

· 2 Jerk Chicken Drummies $7

· Pepsi, Mnt. Dew $3

· Water $2

Hansen’s Foot Long Hot Dogs & Corn Dogs

· Foot Long Hot Dog $7

· Foot Long Corn Dog $8

· Regular Corn Dog $5

· Water $2

Cheese On-a-Stick and Fresh Squeezed Lemonade

· Cheese On-a-Stick: American or Jalapño $5

· Fresh-Squeezed Lemonade Sealed Bottle 16oz $5

· Fresh-Squeezed Lemonade Souvenir Bottle 28 oz. $8

· Fresh-Squeezed Lemonade Gallon Jug $20

Giggles’ Campfire Grill

· Walleye Fries $9.50

· Walleye Cakes $9.50

· Duck Bacon Wontons $9.50

· Duck Drummies $9.50

· Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Mnt. Dew $2.50

· Water $2 or 3 for $5

El Sol Mexican Foods

· Tacos: Fried Flour Shell or Hard Corn Shell $5

· Burrito: Beef and Bean $9

· Burrito: Jumbo Beef $8.50

· Burrito: Bean $6

· Coke, Diet Coke, Water $2.50

The Hangar

· Tater Twister: Sausage wrapped in a spiraled potato and fried $9

· Tater Twister without Sausage $9

· Fried Oreo $7

· Funnel Cake $8

· Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite $4

· Water $3

Sweet Martha’s Cookie Jar

· Pail of Cookies $17

· Water, Milk $3

Life Saving Donations

Mon, 03 Aug 2020 17:28:12 GMT

Life Saving Donations

On June 23rd and 24th Mueller Memorial was proud to host blood drives at both our St. Paul and White Bear Lake locations for the American Red Cross.

Given the need for social distancing amid the COVID-19 pandemic, receiving enough donations to meet demand has been a challenge for the American Red Cross. So Mary Thompson, a funeral director at Mueller Memorial and frequent blood donor, saw an opportunity to use our spacious locations make more donations possible.

Mary worked with the incredibly organized and efficient staff at the American Red Cross to get all the arrangements in place. We promoted the event online and through the Red Cross’ website, which led to all 60 of our available appointments being claimed.

On any given day someone may not be able to give blood for a number of reasons, but we were thrilled with our results. Out of 60 appointments the goal was to collect 40 pints. With Mueller staff filling in for people would couldn’t give the Red Cross left on that Wednesday with 51 pints of life saving blood.

Thank you to all the donors, workers, and volunteers for helping us make the Mueller Memorial Blood Drive such a success! We look forward to hosting again in the future. If you would like to make an appointment to safely donate blood visit www.redcross.org/give-blood

New GriefShare Group Beginning Aug 12th

Fri, 17 Jul 2020 22:33:38 GMT

As I know from experience, talking about grief is hard. It can be difficult to find words to describe what you’re going through. We wanted to provide a safe, comfortable space for people to express their emotions regarding loss, a space where it’s okay to be sad, to be angry, and to be open. When I came across the GriefShare program, I knew it could be just the thing.

Let me tell you a little about the program. We host it in conjunction with GriefShare group leaders Cindy Lannon and Sue Budion at our White Bear Lake location. Cindy and Sue are wonderful, expert leaders with years of experience.

When most people show up for their first session, they don’t know what to expect; maybe they’re nervous or vulnerable (I know I was both). It seems to only take a few sessions, though for the atmosphere to transform. When the session ends, nobody is rushing for the door like high school kids after last period. Instead, people linger to discuss their lives, sports, or the latest popular TV show. In short, they become friends. Some people come alone and others in groups or pairs, but everyone is there for the same reason, and it provides a lot of common ground.

The structure of the program is essentially three-pronged: a workbook of exercises to be done individually (don’t call it homework), expertly produced videos guiding you through difficult issues, and open discussion. Each component offers perspective on loss and a forum to air whatever you’re going through.

Loss is one of the most challenging experiences most people will ever go through, and it is perfectly natural to feel adrift and in need of a little guidance. That’s where GriefShare comes in. It lets you know that you’re not alone, and that you have a support system in place when you need it.

I’ve gone through the program numerous times now, and I still take away new lessons from every session. I’m looking forward to the next one and to staying in touch with the amazing folks who have already gone through the program.

GriefShare

Saturdays
August 12 th – November 11 th 2017
8:30 – 10:30am
Mueller Memorial
4738 Bald Eagle Ave.
White Bear Lake, MN 55110

One-time $20 workbook fee covers all 13 sessions

GriefShare is a faith-based support group that meets weekly. You find it a warm, caring environment and will come to see your group as an “oasis” on your long journey through grief. There are three key parts to your GriefShare experience:

Video Seminar

Encouraging, information-packed videos featuring leading grief recovery experts

Support Group

Small group discussion about the weekly video content

Workbook

Journaling and personal study exercises that reinforce the weekly session topics

Weekly Topics

August 12 Is This Normal?
August 19 Challenges Of Grief
August 26 The Journey Of Grief – Part 1
September 2 Labor Day Weekend –No GriefShare
September 9 The Journey Of Grief – Part 2
September 16 Grief And Your Relationships
September 23 Why?
September 30 Guilt And Anger
October 7 Complicating Factors
October 14 Stuck
October 21 Lessons Of Grief – Part 1
October 28 Lessons Of Grief – Part 2
November 4 Heaven
November 11 What Do I Live For Now?

Call today to sign up, 651-429-4944

Before I Die I Want To...

Fri, 03 Jul 2020 20:53:15 GMT

After the loss of a loved-one, New Orleans artist Candy Chang, wanted to turn an abandoned building across from her home into something that would allow her neighbors to reveal something important, so she turned an entire exterior wall into a giant chalkboard. Then she handmade a stencil with a simple message: Before I die, I want to.

Given the public nature of the project, it took a little bit of bureaucratic wrangling to get everything approved. Luckily, we were able to work with the wonderful team at the White Bear Center for the Arts and the very helpful staff at the City of White Bear Lake to make our vision a reality.

From the moment people had access to the wall, we were overwhelmed by the response of the White Bear Lake community. It’s been humbling and wonderful to watch people take part in this project. One of the most remarkable things about “Before I Die,” is that the work becomes more powerful when more people participate. One entry can make you smile or think; others can bring a tear to your eye.

Because of your selflessness and willingness to contribute, I get to
cross something off of my bucket list. So, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

-Scott Mueller

Here’s a little gallery of our progress…

Host a Memorial From Home

Thu, 02 Jul 2020 17:36:59 GMT

How To Host an Online Funeral Service at Home

A pandemic won't keep you from having the memorial service your family deserves.

It's tempting to put off a funeral or life celebration until things with COVID-19 settle down, but acknowledging the death at the time it occurs and getting support from your family and friends are important steps in framing how you experience grief. Not coming together now can add to feelings of isolation and the nagging sense that things have been left undone.

Virtual Memorial Toolkit is a digital guide, created by experienced licensed funeral directors, that walks you through planning an online memorial service, beginning to end.

What you need and what we provide:

Service Plans

Borrow from over 74 years of funeral planning experience
Find the religious, spiritual, or non-religious service template that's perfect for you
Learn the keys to organizing an engaging and meaningful online memorial service

Resource Library

Gain access to our carefully curated list of the best poems, songs, and scriptures
You don't have to go searching for the content you need
Get leadership guidance and digital service program templates

Tech Walkthrough

Tutorials provide easy instruction on how to set up your online memorial through Zoom, Facebook, or YouTube
Learn how to look and sound your best
Discover equipment that can make your smart phone into a studio

We Know This Isn't Ideal

Mueller Memorial funeral home has provided thousands of services for our friends, family, and neighbors in the Midwest since 1946, and no one believes in the value of coming together at times of grief more than we do.

We're sharing that experience and knowledge so you can have the best service for your family at a time when we can't physically gather. Online services can't replace a reassuring hug, but honoring your loved-one's life at the time of loss can help you feel the love and community that we know are so vital to a healthy grief experience.

Here's How It Works

It's easy to get started. Just follow the plan below and you're on your way to having a meaningful and memorable online funeral service.

Click to join our online membership site at virtualmemorialtoolkit.com and use our easy to follow guides to plan the perfect memorial service.
Set the date, make a plan, then invite friends and family to join you.
Get the elements all set, hit record, and share the love and support.

You Can Make This Great

The idea of hosting an online memorial service can seem overwhelming, but with Virtual Memorial Toolkit you'll have a clear and easy plan that will eliminate uncertainty and allow your family to gather and remember together. As we should.

Find out more or sign up now at virtualmemorialtoolkit.com

Loss and Grief During COVID-19

Tue, 09 Jun 2020 17:44:50 GMT

Loss and Grief During COVID-19

Looking back, early March seems like a different world. There were rumblings of a virus in Asia, then in Italy, then New York and in a matter of days we were shutting the entire country in an effort to slow the spread.

Seemingly overnight we all knew the meaning of “flatten the curve, ventilator, and PPE,” and were looking to epidemiologists to shed light on nearly universal uncertainty. But during that time something happened that was often overlooked, people continued dying for non-COVID, reasons every day.

Suddenly the end of a years-long battle with cancer, or an unforeseen heart attack was no longer able to be recognized in the ways we normally do. Funeral celebrations that were created with and for terminally ill family members were no longer possible. Friends and family were not able to gather, hug, and participate in the ceremony and support which help frame the way we normally experience grief.

These bereaved families found themselves in the shadow of a global pandemic. Their singular loss, marginalized by comparison to the hundreds of thousands of deaths caused by the virus.

But the existence of a pandemic doesn’t mean that daughters, husbands, and friends don’t experience the same depth of grief. Their pain was, and likely still is, louder than the headlines. And that pain has probably been made worse since they were not able to gather and receive that big show of love and support that a visitation or funeral provides.

So this is a bit of a call to action for people who know someone who has lost a friend or family member for any reason during the time of social distancing. Reach out to them. Help them plan a memorial picnic when it’s safe, help them plan a virtual memorial on Zoom, or just call them to talk about it.

Grief after loss is hard in any circumstance, but when we’re required to isolate for health reasons, it can compound the feelings of loneliness that already come with grief. Remind the grieving people in your life that they are not alone, and do this without expectation of a response.

Eventually this pandemic will pass, but as supporters to our friends and family it’s our responsibility to make sure the important and unique lives that came to an end during the pandemic don’t get overshadowed by the headline.

More Than Pets

Thu, 20 Feb 2020 18:56:50 GMT

Our Furry Family Members Teach Us To Love

Today is national Love Your Pet Day and since we at Mueller Memorial always try to focus on gratitude, one thing that’s always easy to be thankful for is our pets.

As a funeral director, I know how much people love their pets and am not surprised by how often they speak about the loss of a pet with the same gravity as the loss of a human family member. Our pets are family. Our dogs, cats, rodents, reptiles, or whoever it is that we share your home with, bring light to our lives with unconditional love. They make our bad days better and our good days brighter, all by just being themselves.

Our team here at Mueller Memorial is just about the most loving group of pet owners I’ve ever seen. They know the warmth and joy that pets provide, and have experienced firsthand the ways they shape our lives. As children, pets teach us about the responsibility of caring for others; as adults, they give us unconditional joy and love. What’s better than coming home after a long day of work to a happy face and wagging tail?

They become ingrained in our every-day activities, they feature in our family photos, and some of them even get their own profiles on social media. Our pets often become our people, the ones we know can cheer us up after a rough day, and won’t judge us when we do something a little silly. And when they’re the ones pushing our buttons, it’s impossible to stay mad at them for long.

Those who haven’t had the opportunity to experience the joy of an animal family member often find it difficult to understand the bond that humans and pets can sometimes share. But the truth is, it can be difficult to explain, because it’s something that comes so easily and naturally. And as with any meaningful bond, when it’s broken, it can feel like a piece of you has gone missing.

As hard as these moments may be, they just continue to prove that our pets can teach us things about life whether they’re with us or not. We learn and grow from our experiences with them — they give us stories to tell, emotions to feel, and memories to last. They have been a part of our lives for a long time, and I predict that they always will be. We’re all so thankful for the wonderful animals in our lives, because in the end, they help us to be better humans.

Happy Love Your Pet Day,
Scott Mueller

P.S. If you’re looking to adopt a new family member, consider these wonderful local organizations:

Animal Humane Society

Feline Rescue

Secondhand Hounds

Underdog Rescue

Wags & Whiskers Animal Rescue

New GriefShare Group Begins Jan 11 2020

Tue, 31 Dec 2019 21:44:08 GMT

Grief Support Group in White Bear Lake

GriefShare

GriefShare is a faith-based 13-session support group that meets weekly. You’ll find it a warm, caring environment and will come to see your group as an “oasis” on your journey through grief.

Saturdays, January 11th – April 4th 2020
8:30 – 10:30am

Mueller Memorial
4738 Bald Eagle Ave.
White Bear Lake, MN 55110

One-time $20 workbook fee covers all 13 sessions

There are three key parts to your GriefShare experience:

Video Seminar
Encouraging, information-packed videos featuring leading grief recovery experts

Support Group
Small group discussion about the weekly video content

Workbook
Journaling and personal study exercises that reinforce the weekly session topics

To sign up, call 651-429-4944 or email us at info@muellermemorial.com with your first and last name and phone number.

Topics for the 13 sessions:

Sat January 11 - Is This Normal?
Sat January 18 - Challenges Of Grief
Sat January 25 - The Journey Of Grief – Part 1
Sat February 1 - The Journey Of Grief – Part 2
Sat February 8 - Grief And Your Relationships
Sat February 15 - Why?
Sat February 22 - Guilt And Anger
Sat February 29 - Complicating Factors
Sat March 7 - Stuck
Sat March 14 - Lessons Of Grief – Part 1
Sat March 21 - Lessons Of Grief – Part 2
Sat March 28 - Heaven
Sat April 4 - What Do I Live For Now?

12 Tips for Surviving the Holidays

Fri, 13 Dec 2019 19:24:20 GMT

At Mueller Memorial, we know the holidays can be a tough time of year especially if you're experiencing grief, so we're presenting 12 short videos over 12 days to give you practical and easy tips that'll help guide you through the holidays. So, here we go...

Day 1 - Write a List

Shopping, parties, baking, wrapping, sending cards…it can all catch up with you. It’s time to prioritize. Looking at your calendar, make a list of all the things you’re planning to do this season, circle only the things you NEED to do. Then decide that all the other things are optional. People will understand if you’re no up for a full schedule this year.

Day 2 - Make a Memorial Display

Include in your holiday decorations a special area that features a framed picture or two (even better if they’re holiday pictures) of your absent friend or family member. When you host holiday gatherings, encourage guests to bring a picture of someone they would like to remember. This is a great way to help you and others feel less isolated in grief.

Day 3 - Buy a Gift

While doing your holiday shopping, buy a gift for your lost friend or family member. Find something that they would’ve liked or that reflects their personality and passions, then donate that gift to someone in need. Not only are you making someone else’s holiday brighter, but you’re including your loved one in your holiday shopping traditions.

Day 4 - Rest

Get some good sleep. Ideally 7+ hours per night. If thoughts of grief make falling or staying asleep difficult at night, do your best to plan some afternoon rest time in your schedule (there’s no shame in naps). Also consider establishing a 30-minute pre-bedtime routine to help your mind and body wind down. Eliminating screen time during the hour before bed is also helpful.

Day 5 - Talk About Them

Many times people you see at social events will avoid bringing up your lost friend or family member. Generally this is not because they want to forget or ignore your loss, but rather are afraid of upsetting you. If you talk about your loved one first, especially, by name, it lets others know that you’re okay with talking about them and that they can talk about them too.

Day 6 - Record Holiday Memories

We all know that over time memories start to fade. While the holiday memories of your lost family member or friend are still vivid in your mind, set aside some time to write them down. If a memory strikes you unexpectedly, make a quick reminder note in your phone or on a piece of paper to write about it later. Then commit the memories to a book or video, this way you can reflect on those memories for years to come.

Day 7 - Plan a Memorial Activity

Holiday celebrations are steeped in tradition and ceremony. For your holiday gathering, plan a memorial activity in which everyone can participate.

This could be as simple as lighting a candle and sharing a prayer or can be as involved as making personalized memorial tree ornaments and hanging them. Traditions like these can be a way to actively share and support each other.

Day 8 - Consider What You'll Miss

Take some time to consider or visualize the moments you’ll miss your lost friend or family member the most. Is there a special holiday tradition of which they were and integral part?

If you think of these specific moments in privately, in advance, you’ll likely be better prepared for those moments when they happen. But remember, when they do happen it’s still okay to get emotional at that time.

Day 9 - Prepare for Questions

Your friends and family are genuinely concerned about how you’re doing. It helps to prepare specific answers for questions like, “how are you holding up,” and “is there anything I can do to help?”

Consider how your answers will be different if you’re asked by an acquaintance, relative, or best friend. Being ready will help you give a more honest answer rather than having to say that things are “fine.”

Day 10 - Manage Expectations

There is a lot of pressure for the holidays to be perfect. If you're experiencing grief you're already carrying a big burden, so set reasonable expectations for the season.

Not everything will be merry, bright, or full of joy, and it's unreasonable to expect them to be. So maybe this year temper your expectations for how you'll feel at holiday celebrations or events.

Day 11 - Give and Receive Hugs

Meaningful touch is an essential part of human communication. Support can be expressed and received through a pat on the shoulder, holding a hand, or embracing.

The physical and psychological benefits of touch are well documented and simple contact can, in very real and tangible way, remind someone that they’re not alone. Be open to respectful, meaningful touch.

Day 12 - Feel Gratitude

It’s okay to find joy in the things for which you’re thankful. Feeling happy at moments during the holidays doesn’t mean you don’t miss your friend or family member and it’s nothing to feel guilty about. If you have a moment of gratitude and joy, do your best to enjoy it. You deserve it.

If you’re finding gratitude hard to come by, try writing down three good things every night that you’re grateful for, then starting the next day by reading that list. This practice can help usher in some good thoughts everyday.

We wish you a warm and memorable holiday...

Saint Paul Funeral Home Winner of Chamber Deubener Award

Sat, 09 Nov 2019 19:29:07 GMT

Mueller Memorial won in the Family-Owned Business category

Mueller Memorial Funeral and Cremation Service announced it was awarded a Saint Paul Area Chamber of Commerce Deubener Award in the Family-Owned Business category.

Mueller Memorial, along with fellow nominees El Burrito Mercado and Keys Cafe, were recognized at the SPACC’s Chamber Honors event on November 8th, 2019 at Inwood Oaks in Oakdale. Mueller Memorial took home the top prize in their category.

“This was our third nomination and, though we hoped, we really didn’t think we would win because El Burrito Mercado and Keys Café are such fun and beloved St. Paul institutions,” said Scott Mueller, second-generation owner of Mueller Memorial. “For the voting committee, we thought a funeral home might seem like a bit of a downer by comparison. But this distinguished award celebrates many of the things we have been focusing on in our business, including family, risk, growth, diversity and innovation. It’s an honor to be recognized for our efforts.”

In recent years, the team at Mueller Memorial has been making changes to elevate the level of service provided at their White Bear Lake and St. Paul funeral homes. This includes a major facility remodel and expansion to create a unique experience for the families they serve.

“We knew we were taking a risk when we built a bar into a funeral home,” said Mueller. “But we wanted to create an environment where people would feel comfortable. We’re committed to transforming our business and the industry and improving the experience people have with us.”

And Mueller is seeing a return on his investment. At his White Bear Lake location, the business has seen year over year increases in requests for services with many families citing the remodeled facility as the deciding factor.

In addition to the new funeral and reception space, Mueller has developed other programs and services to help people better cope with the death of a loved one. The funeral home internally launched the Grief Compass program in 2018 to help the families they serve navigate grief in the year following a loss.

“The feedback on Grief Compass has been phenomenal,” said Mueller, “This is an innovation that’s really making a difference for people. And just like every risk we take, every innovation we endeavor toward, it is guided by a single question, how can we better serve families and our community? Winning this award reinforces that we’re on the right track.”

Burgers for the Troops Sept 24th 2019

Thu, 12 Sep 2019 20:20:10 GMT

Join us in Hugo and enjoy a burger for a cause.

After a record breaking Burgers for the Troops event last year (which required a bit of patience from our many gracious patrons), Mueller Memorial will be back in full force and ready for a crowd, serving up burgers for a great cause. All you have to do is come and buy a burger in Hugo on Sept. 24th.

Throughout the year volunteers from Hugo chapter of the Beyond the Yellow Ribbon Network pack and send hundreds of wish-list care packages to deployed soldiers. They also provide services to local families impacted by a deployment; they help families move, provide household help for veterans recovering from injuries, donate handyman services for families whose Mr. or Ms. Fix-It is deployed, and so many other things.

Coming to Burgers for the Troops is a very easy way for you to provide support for local men and women serving overseas. Knowing their families are taken care of by Beyond the Yellow Ribbon Network makes their heavy burden just a little bit lighter.

We hope you’ll join us for the Burgers for the Troops event at the Hugo American Legion 5383 140th St. N, 55038. It’s on Tuesday, September 24, from 5–8 p.m. Cost is $6 for a hamburger & chips, substitute fries for $1 more.

Take a break from the kitchen for a night and bring your family out for a burger. It’s going to be an awesome evening for a worthy cause, and we couldn’t be more proud to be a part of it.

GriefShare Fall 2019

Thu, 08 Aug 2019 20:23:06 GMT

GriefShare
Saturdays September 14th – December 14 th 2019
8:30 – 10:30am

Mueller Memorial
4738 Bald Eagle Ave.
White Bear Lake, MN 55110
One-time $20 workbook fee covers all 13 sessions

GriefShare is a faith-based 13-session support group that meets weekly. You’ll find it a warm, caring environment and will come to see your group as an “oasis” on your journey through grief. There are three key parts to your GriefShare experience:

Video Seminar
Encouraging, information-packed videos featuring leading grief recovery experts

Support Group
Small group discussion about the weekly video content

Workbook
Journaling and personal study exercises that reinforce the weekly session topics

To sign up, call 651-429-4944 or email us at info@muellermemorial.com with your first and last name and phone number.

Sat September 14 Is This Normal?
Sat September 21 Challenges Of Grief
Sat September 28 The Journey Of Grief – Part 1
Sat October 5 The Journey Of Grief – Part 2
Sat October 12 Grief And Your Relationships
Sat October19 Why?
Sat October 26 Guilt And Anger
Sat November 2 Complicating Factors
Sat November 9 Stuck
Sat November 16 Lessons Of Grief – Part 1
Sat November 23 Lessons Of Grief – Part 2
Sat November 30 Heaven
Sat December 7 What Do I Live For Now?

Drive Safely...We Can Wait

Wed, 07 Aug 2019 20:36:35 GMT

SummerFest 2019

Click HERE for your free pair of tickets to Summerfest Aug 17th 6-10pm at Frassati Ball Field in White Bear Lake.

2019 Memorial Day Events

Fri, 17 May 2019 20:28:22 GMT

A list of the Memorial Day events and ceremonies happening around the St Paul metro area.

Ft Snelling Memorial Weekend and Military History Living Timeline
Historic Fort Snelling | 200 Tower Ave, St Paul, MN 55111
May 25-27, 10a.m. to 5p.m.
$12 Adults, $10 Seniors and Veterans, $6 Kids 5-17, Free for kids under 5

Learn about Native American history and the fort’s role in US expansion. Explore stories of African Americans at Fort Snelling, including Dred and Harriet Scott whose struggle to gain freedom from slavery helped ignite the Civil War. Join in activities and watch demonstrations like cannon firings, blacksmithing, and more. Kids can try out historic games and join the “History Hunt” to earn a special prize.
On Monday, don’t miss a special “living timeline” of America’s military past on the fort’s parade ground, with costumed interpretive staff and reenactors sharing the history of Americans serving in armed conflicts.
For more info and tickets, visit: https://www.mnhs.org/fortsnelling/activities/calendar/6548 or call 612-726-1171.

Fort Snelling National Cemetery — Memorial Day Service
Ft. Snelling National Cemetery | 7601 34th Ave, Minneapolis, MN 5545 0
May 27, Ceremony at 10:00 a.m.
A ceremony recognizing the service of all veterans who fell in the line of duty. There will be music from the 34 th Infantry “Red Bulls,” veterans parade, rifle volley, and Taps. They expect many people, so plan to arrive early if you’d like to secure a seat. You’re also welcome to bring your own lawn chair if you’d like to arrive closer to the start time. For more information, call 612-726-1127.

Additional St Paul and Suburban Cemeteries Offering Memorial Day Services May 27th:

(Times listed were confirmed at publication, but may be subject to change.)

Calvary Cemetery , 753 Front Ave., St Paul 651-488-8866 Service at 10 a.m.

Elmhurst Cemetery, 1510 Dale St N., St Paul 651-489-1707 Service at 9 a.m.

Evergreen Memorial Gardens , 3400 Century Ave N, Mahtomedi 952-890-9291 Service at 11 a.m.

Forest Lawn Memorial Park , 1800 Edgerton St., Maplewood 651-776-6420 Service at 11 a.m.

Oakland Cemetery , 927 Jackson St, St Paul 651-224-2366 Service at 10 a.m.

Resurrection Cemetery , 2101 Lexington Ave S., Mendota Heights 651-488-8866 Service at 10 a.m.

Roselawn Cemetery , 803 Larpenteur Ave W, Roseville 651-489-1720 Organ concert and refreshments 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Sat 25, Sun 26 & Mon 27; Service at 10 a.m. on Mon. May 27 only.

St. Mary of the Lake Cemetery , 1709 Stillwater St, White Bear Lake (In case of rain meet at the church, 4741 Bald Eagle Ave.) 651-429-5378Service at 9 a.m.

Union Cemetery , 2505 Minnehaha Ave E., St Paul 651-739-0466 Service at 10 a.m.

DIY Valentine 2019

Fri, 01 Mar 2019 21:33:45 GMT

When you find a partner to spend your life with, one of the perks is no longer wondering what you’ll be doing on Valentine’s Day. You assume that you’ll have a date for life. Unfortunately, sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we’d hoped and we can find ourselves alone again on a day meant to celebrate couples.

We see this often at our funeral home and wanted to give widows, widowers, or anyone looking for a way to celebrate, something fun to do on this somewhat beloved, somewhat notorious, holiday.

So we put together a Valentine’s Day party at Mueller Memorial and invited the folks from CrateSpace in White Bear Lake to help our guests get a little crafty and DIY some decorative boards. Guests got to pick their board design at sign-up and had a custom stencil waiting for them at the event.

We all enjoyed wine and cheese, hors d’oeuvres, and chocolate covered strawberries before settling into our stations and getting to work. There was sanding, staining, stenciling, and a lot of laughing as we got to know our table mates and tried our best to become home décor artists.

The results were phenomenal! Everyone left that day with a beautiful, custom sign that had the colors and sayings that they wanted. Thank you to all the burgeoning artists who joined us and made this Valentine’s Day something really special.

GriefShare Group Begins Saturday

Wed, 16 Jan 2019 21:35:37 GMT

A spring GriefShare group is beginning January 19th 2019 at Mueller Memorial in White Bear Lake.

Saturdays, January 19 th – April 13 th 2019
8:30 – 10:30am
Mueller Memorial
4738 Bald Eagle Ave.
White Bear Lake, MN 55110
One-time $20 workbook fee covers all 13 sessions

GriefShare is a faith-based support group that meets weekly for 13 weeks. You find it a warm, caring environment and will come to see your group as an “oasis” on your journey through grief. There are three key parts to your GriefShare experience:

Video Seminar

Encouraging, information-packed videos featuring leading grief recovery experts

Support Group

Small group discussion about the weekly video content

Workbook

Journaling and personal study exercises that reinforce the weekly session topics

Each session is self-contained, so you can join at any time, but you’ll get the best experience with your group if you can join in the early sessions.

If you’re not sure you’d be comfortable, ask a friend or family member to join you for the first session. If you like it, you can come back the next week. If it’s not a fit for you, you’re under no obligation to come to all the sessions.

If you want to learn a little more, information on GriefShare is available at griefshare.org/about

Call today with questions or to sign up, 651-429-4944

Schedule of Sessions
January 19 Is This Normal?
January 26 Challenges Of Grief
February 2 The Journey Of Grief – Part 1
February 9 The Journey Of Grief – Part 2
February 16 Grief And Your Relationships
February 23 Why?
March 2 Guilt And Anger
March 9 Complicating Factors
March 16 Stuck
March 23 Lessons Of Grief – Part 1
March 30 Lessons Of Grief – Part 2
April 6 Heaven
April 13 What Do I Live For Now?

7 Ways To Rmember Dad on Father's Day

Tue, 01 Jan 2019 19:04:47 GMT

If for you Father’s Day is a reminder of loss rather than a celebration, here are some things you can plan for Sunday that allow you to take more control of the emotions of the day. Planning an activity to honor or acknowledge your dad helps to confront feelings related to the loss in a way that may be better anticipated and more predictable for you.

1) Tell a Story About Him

Some people believe that a person doesn’t really die until the last living person who knew them dies as well. But sharing stories about your dad, especially to the younger generations who may not have know him, allows his legend to live on.

2) Drag Out Your Box of Childhood Memorabilia

Somewhere in your house, it’s probably there–that box of stuff that’s like a time capsule of your childhood. It’s possible that there isn’t one thing in that box that specifically connects to your dad, but immersing yourself in the sights, scents, and feel of items from your youth are sure to bring back family memories that included your dad.

3) Share Something Your Dad Taught You with Someone New

If your dad taught you how to tie a tie, maybe teach your son to do the same on Father’s Day. If your dad showed you how to change a flat tire, pass that along to your niece. You could also tell a friend one of your dad’s favorite jokes. Dads are full of useful stuff and Father’s Day is a good time to pass some of it along to others.

4) Try an Activity That He Loved That You’ve Never Attempted

If your dad was an avid golfer but you never learned to play, try going to the driving range for the first time. Did your dad love a good single-malt Scotch, but you’ve never touched the stuff? Give it a try! Not only does this connect you to something your dad loved, but trying new things is good for your brain health. (Okay, maybe Scotch isn’t so much.)

This one is especially good if your dad has been gone for a long time. When a younger person loses their dad, often over time, that person gets used to seeing their dad as a 2-dimensional still-life photograph. Movies are a live-action reminder of the way a smile would gradually spread across Dad’s face before he broke into laughter, or the way he carried himself when he walked. Videos remind us of the little idiosyncrasies of movement that get lost in our memory over time.

6) Eat Like a Dad

If your dad’s favorite food in the world was fried chicken, go enjoy some in his honor. If he loved your mom’s meatloaf, get the recipe and make it for your family (don’t forget to invite mom too). It can be as simple as having a scoop of his favorite mint chocolate chip ice cream.

7) Talk to Your Dad

If you have any unresolved feelings (negative or positive) toward your dad, or if you just have something you want to say to him, write it down. You could put it in a Father’s Day card. (For some people, the process of finding a card that is perfect for their dad is the part of this activity they most enjoy.) Take your card or a piece of paper, grab a pen, and say whatever you want to say to your dad. If you’re feeling especially symbolic, you could even set that letter or card on a campfire that night and very literally sent it up into the world.

A Special Honor Guard

Thu, 18 Oct 2018 20:39:08 GMT

Denise serves as a Captain in the United States Air Force and is currently stationed in Eindhoven, Netherlands. She happened to be working in Washington D.C. when her family informed her that her beloved uncle, Tony Sowada , had died and was soon to be memorialized in Minnesota. With some last-minute organizing, Capt. Caspers was able to travel to Minnesota to be with her family.

As a former air policeman in the USAF, Tony Sowada was entitled to military honors at his burial at Fort Snelling National cemetery. Mueller Memorial funeral director, Mandy Stafford, suggested that the family use active-duty service members from the Minnesota Air Force Honor Squad. Tony’s wife, Angie, thought that was a great idea.

“Denise was holding back tears and you could hear a little quiver in her voice when she presented the flag,” said Jane Walz, Tony and Angie’s daughter who was sitting near her mother during the ceremony. Capt. Caspers rejoined her fellow servicewomen and reverently completed her uncle’s honors.

Honor guards always have an emotional impact, but having an active duty member representing the family’s legacy of service made Tony Sowada ‘s memorial something special.

Burgers for the Troops Sept 26th

Wed, 12 Sep 2018 20:41:42 GMT

Burgers for the Troops Wednesday, September 26 2018, 5-8pm Hugo American Legion 5383 140th St N. Hugo, MN 55038

Whenever we have the chance, we love to get involved with local groups that support charitable causes. If a member of our team brings an idea to us and we can lend a hand, we pride ourselves on doing everything we can to do so.

That’s exactly what happened when our pre-planning specialist, Jessica Stern, told us about Beyond the Yellow Ribbon Network in Hugo.

The second Jessica told us about their Burgers for the Troops events last year, we knew we wanted to sponsor one. Last year we got in touch with Chuck, the director of the Hugo chapter, arranged to sponsor one of the nights and it was a fantastic experience! So once again this year we agreed to purchase the food for a night, this time for the evening of September 26th . That way, all the money guests pay for burgers will go straight toward BYRN’s amazing work helping families experiencing a deployment.

And all you have to do is show up and buy a cheeseburger.

We hope you’ll join us for the Burgers for the Troops event at the Hugo American Legion on Wednesday, September 26, from 5–8 p.m. Cost is $6 for a hamburger & chips, substitute fries for $1 more.

Take a break from the kitchen for a night and bring your family out for a burger. It’s going to be an awesome evening for a worthy cause, and we couldn’t be more proud to be a part of it.

You can let us know you’re coming and invite friends to join us by visiting our event page on Facebook .

We’ll see you there!

GriefShare Fall 2018

Tue, 17 Jul 2018 20:43:38 GMT

GriefShare Begins in White Bear Lake September 8th

Video Seminar
Encouraging, information-packed videos featuring leading grief recovery experts

Support Group
Small group discussion about the weekly video content

Workbook
Journaling and personal study exercises that reinforce the weekly session topics

Each session is self-contained, so you can join at any time, but you’ll get the best experience with your group if you can join in the early sessions.

If you want to learn a little more, information on GriefShare is available at griefshare.org/about

Call today with questions or to sign up, 651-429-4944

Schedule of Sessions
September 8 Is This Normal?
September 15 Challenges Of Grief
September 22 The Journey Of Grief – Part 1
September 29 The Journey Of Grief – Part 2
October 6 Grief And Your Relationships
October 13 Why?
October 20 Guilt And Anger
October 27 Complicating Factors
November 3 Stuck
November 10 Lessons Of Grief – Part 1
November 17 Lessons Of Grief – Part 2
November 18 Special Evening Holiday Event
December 1 Heaven
December 8 What Do I Live For Now?

Twin Cities Memorial Day Services 2018

Tue, 15 May 2018 20:56:06 GMT

Military History Living Timeline

Historic Fort Snelling | 200 Tower Ave, St Paul, MN 55111
May 26-28, 12p.m. to 5p.m.
$12 Adults, $10 Seniors and Veterans, $6 Kids 5-17, Free for kids under 5

Learn about Native American history and the fort’s role in US expansion. Explore stories of African Americans at Fort Snelling, including Dred and Harriet Scott whose struggle to gain freedom from slavery helped ignite the Civil War. Join in activities and watch demonstrations like cannon firings, blacksmithing, and more. Kids can try out historic games as well as a brand-new, STEM-focused activity to earn a special prize. On Monday, don’t miss a special “living timeline” of America’s military past on the parade ground, with costumed staff and reenactors sharing the history of Americans serving in armed conflicts.

For more info, visit www.mnhs.org/event/5402 or call 612-726-1171.

Fort Snelling National Cemetery — Memorial Day Service

Ft. Snelling National Cemetery | 7601 34th Ave, Minneapolis, MN 55450
May 28, Ceremony at 10:00 a.m.

A ceremony recognizing the 100 th anniversary of the end of WWI and the service of all veterans who fell in the line of duty. There will be music from the 34 th Infantry “Red Bulls,” a wreath presentation, veterans parade, address from Major General Neal G. Loidolt, rifle volley, and Taps. They expect many people, so plan to arrive early if you’d like to secure a seat. You’re also welcome to bring your own lawn chair if you’d like to arrive closer to the start time. For more information, call 612-726-1127.

Additional Local Cemeteries Offering Memorial Day Services May 28th: (Times listed were confirmed at publication, but may be subject to change.)

Calvary Cemetery, 753 Front Ave., St Paul 651-488-8866 Service at 10 a.m.
Elmhurst Cemetery, 1510 Dale St N., St Paul 651-489-1707Service at 9 a.m.
Evergreen Memorial Gardens , 3400 Century Ave N, Mahtomedi 952-890-9291Service at 11 a.m.
Forest Lawn Memorial Park , 1800 Edgerton St., Maplewood 651-776-6420 Service at 11 a.m.
Oakland Cemetery , 927 Jackson St, St Paul 651-224-2366 Service at 10 a.m.
Resurrection Cemetery , 2101 Lexington Ave S., Mendota Heights 651-488-8866 Service at 10 a.m.
Roselawn Cemetery , 803 Larpenteur Ave W, Roseville 651-489-1720 Organ concert and refreshments 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Sat 26, Sun 27 & Mon 28; Service at 10 a.m. on Mon. May 28 only.
St. Mary of the Lake Cemetery , 1709 Stillwater St, White Bear Lake (In case of rain meet at the church, 4741 Bald Eagle Ave.) 651-429-5378 Service at 9 a.m.
Union Cemetery , 2505 Minnehaha Ave E., St Paul 651-739-0466 Service at 10 a.m.

Sir Scott and Dame Connie of the Winter Carnival

Wed, 11 Apr 2018 21:05:05 GMT

The Mueller family tradition of being involved in the “coolest celebration on Earth” continued this year. 2018 marked the 10th anniversary of Scott’s 2008 appointment as prime minister of the Saint Paul Winter Carnival. It also marked the 45th anniversary of his dad, Al’s, 1973 reign as Boreas Rex XXXVII, King of the Winter Carnival.

On Jan. 29, the 2018 royal family paid a visit to Connie Mueller and knighted her “Madame of Mortuary, Songstress of Olde, Her Family Members Making Carnival Stronger Two-fold.” The occasion was made particularly special because this year’s king, Tom Leonard, set down his own scepter and knighted Connie using Al’s original 1973 carnival scepter. It was a touch that added a lot of meaning and emotion to the occasion.

Just a few days later, Scott and Heidi hosted the royal family for lunch at the famed East Side locale Obb’s Bar. To his surprise, he was knighted “His Majesty of Morticians and a Prince of a Prime, Has Good Humor, Quick Wit, and a Smile All the Time.” Scott was thrilled at the kind gesture.

We want to thank all of the Winter Carnival royal families for putting so much time and effort into being ambassadors for our great city of Saint Paul. They help us to celebrate (rather than lament) the cold weather and remind us why we’re proud residents of the Bold North.

Why We Live in Minnesota

Sat, 03 Feb 2018 19:14:09 GMT

HELLO SUPER BOWL FANS! Welcome to Minnesota!

A Visitors Guide to Understanding Minnesotan Life and Behavior (Part Three):

Before you step outside and inevitably ask us how can we POSSIBLY live here, please consider:

– At 90,000 miles, we have more shoreline than Florida, California and Hawaii…combined!

– Minnesota has one recreational boat per every six people, more than any other state.

– All those lakes are full of fresh water. (All the rivers too.)

– We have one of the highest standards of living in the country.

– Minneapolis was named the nation’s most gay-friendly city.

– Minneapolis was awarded the title most bike-friendly city.

– St. Paul hosts a huge Saint Paul Winter Carnival every February: you can visit it while you’re here.

– We have the 2nd largest State Fair in the country. (Dang Texas.) Minnesota State Fair

– For five years Minneapolis pub, The Local , held the record for selling more Jameson Irish Whiskey than any other bar in the world, this includes bars in Ireland!

– Minnesota has a higher voter turnout rate than any other state in the union.

– We sell more theater tickets per capita than Chicago or Seattle.

– In the height of Minnesota summer, we have daylight til well after 10pm.

– Minneapolis has more golfers per capita than any other city in the country.

– There’s no sales tax on clothing.

– The Mississippi River headwaters flow from Minnesota.

– My mom lives here.

– Did I mention we produced Prince?

So maybe the real question is, how can you possibly NOT want to live here?

Eh?

Em-I-Right?

Whatever…we like it.

Check out the rest of our “visitor’s guide” series at:

11 Things Super Bowl Fans Should Know About Minnesota

Fri, 02 Feb 2018 19:11:57 GMT

Understand that in a crowd, “sorry” means the same thing as “excuse me.”
If you pass a Minnesotan on the sidewalk expect awkward, fleeting eye contact and a “hi.” Please return them.
Never disparage Prince. EVER!
To prevent loss, put your mittens in your coat pockets as soon as you take them off.
If the road is fully black or shiny that means it’s wet or icy, be VERY careful. (Salty gray means dry and safer.)
Snow is very bright. Bring sunglasses.
Make eye contact with Jesse Ventura at your own peril.
Minneapolis is NOT the same thing as St. Paul. If you’re unsure of where you are in the metro area, reference to “The Cities” is acceptable.
Despite the novelty, DO NOT rent a pedal pub while you’re here. That’s not a thing we do in winter.
We are aware that the Vikings have never won a Super Bowl.
We are also aware that had we beat Philly, it would’ve been the first time in history that a team played a Super Bowl in their own stadium. We are VERY well aware.

Have fun and safely enjoy our lovely state!

Hey Super Bowl Fans, We Don’t Want Your Business

Wed, 31 Jan 2018 23:59:39 GMT

As a St. Paul funeral home, Mueller Memorial hopes to earn people’s business someday far in the future when the need arrives, but we would prefer not to serve any of you fine folks coming into town for the Big Game. So here are some handy (and very real) tips for surviving February in Minnesota.

It’s Not “Wind Shield,” It’s Wind Chill, and It’s a Thing.
There’s a whole fancy calculation behind it, but basically it’s what the temperature feels like when you factor in the wind. So, if the temperature says it’s 5˚ that’s accurate and all fine and dandy ‘til you factor in the 10mph wind which means, accounting for the wind chill factor, it feels like it’s -10˚. You should be prepared for the -10 not the +5.

Hooded Jacket
You wanna look good so you’re thinking “heck no” to wearing a hat and messing up your hair. Fine, that’s totally up to you (hello passive aggressive warning) but instead of heading out in -25 wind chill with a naked head, please for Pete’s sake, consider a winter jacket with a hood. It keeps the heat around your head and neck but isn’t so tight it messes up your hair. Win win.

Hand Warmers
Thanks to the exothermic oxidation of iron, these toasty little sachets of swelter only need to be opened from their package to begin to heat up. They’re cheap, take about 15mins to get warm, and fit nicely into mittens. Insider tip: they’re also a delight when shoved into the toe of your boot.

Minnesota > Wisconsin
For your safety, under no circumstances inform a Minnesotan that states outside the Midwest don’t know the difference between Minnesota and Wisconsin. This comment is offensive to hipsters, snowmobilers, politicos, soccer moms, indigenous people, snowmen, sports fans, immigrants, CEOs, loons, Iron Rangers, and literally everyone in between. Minnesota-Nice has its limits and calling us Wisconsin is a good way to test them.

How’s the Weather?
The biggest cliché is that we always talk about the weather here because it’s true, we do. Talking about the weather is how we stay alive: we need to know what’s coming. And we’re Minnesota-nice because if we’re not nice and help each other out the weather, in any season, could kill us. Literally.

Stay safe out there everybody, Mueller Memorial definitely does NOT want to see you this weekend.

Grief Support Group Starting January 2018

Thu, 21 Dec 2017 23:49:57 GMT

GriefShare is a faith-based support group that meets weekly. You’ll find it a warm, caring environment, and you will come to see your group as an oasis on your long journey through grief. There are three key parts to your GriefShare experience:

VIDEO SEMINAR
Encouraging, information-packed videos featuring leading grief recovery experts.

SUPPORT GROUP
Small-group discussion about the weekly video content.

WORKBOOK
Journaling and personal study exercises that reinforce the weekly session topics.

One-time $20 workbook fee covers all 13 sessions. Call today to sign up: 651-429-4944.

Session Topics:
January 6 – Is This Normal?
January 13 – Challenges of Grief
January 20 – The Journey of Grief (Part 1)
January 27 – The Journey of Grief (Part 2)
February 3 – Grief and Your Relationships
February 10 – Why?
February 17 – Guilt and Anger
February 24 – Complicating Factors
March 3 – Stuck
March 10 – Lessons of Grief (Part 1)
March 17 – Lessons of Grief (Part 2)
March 24 – Heaven
March 31 – What Do I Live for Now?

Find out more about GriefShare at: https://www.griefshare.org/about

Call to signup at 651-774-9797

GriefShare Saturdays | January 6 – March 31, 2018 | 8:30-10:30 a.m. Mueller Memorial, 4738 Bald Eagle Ave, White Bear Lake, MN 55110

Mueller Memorial Selected as Finalist for St Paul Chamber Deubener Award

Wed, 11 Oct 2017 22:47:43 GMT

Mueller Memorial Funeral and Cremation Service announced today it was chosen as a finalist for a Saint Paul Area Chamber of Commerce Deubener Award in the Family-Owned Business category.

Mueller Memorial , along with HED Cycling Products and J&J Distributing , will be recognized at the SPACC’s Chamber Honors event on November 2 nd , 2017 at A’BULAE in St. Paul. One of the three nominees will take home the top prize in their category.

“It’s a competitive field and we’re really just honored by the nomination,” said Scott Mueller, second-generation owner of Mueller Memorial. “This distinguished award celebrates many of the things we have been focusing on in our business, including family, risk, growth, diversity and innovation. It’s gratifying to be recognized for our efforts.”

And Mueller is seeing a return on his investment. At his White Bear Lake location, the business has seen a 30 percent increase in requests for services over the previous year with many families citing the remodeled facility as the deciding factor.

In addition to the new funeral and reception space, Mueller has developed other non-traditional programs and services to help people better manage and cope with the death of a loved one. The funeral home launched the Grief Compass TM program to help navigate grief in the year following a loss, and Mueller recently wrote a book called “What to Know Before You Go” that provides answers to the most pertinent questions when planning a funeral. “Our world is changing as are the needs of the families we serve,” said Mueller. “Our goal is to listen to our clients and change our approach so that we always meet and exceed their expectations.”

Never Stop Being a Student

Tue, 05 Sep 2017 22:40:27 GMT

It seems like just last week the summer was kicking off, and we’re already in back-to-school season. I’ll tell you, time seems to move faster every year. September is back-to-school time, and for me, that’s always meant two things. First, a chance to refocus on goals for the coming months — in some sense, back-to-school is like the start of a whole new year. Second, the idea that even when we’re long past the days of lining up to board the bus, we’re never too old to learn and improve. In the summer, I think we often take time to rest, relax, and recuperate, so I like to approach the fall as a chance to turn over a new leaf (sorry for the pun).

With that educational spirit in mind, we’re further developing three “difference makers” for the coming months that will allow us to enhance the care and support we offer to the people we serve. One difference maker is our funeral director development program. This initiative is focused on educating our team on the Acute Loss Period that happens in the 10–14 days following a death. It’s a stressful period, and one that often proves crucial in how the following months and years will play out. I’ve always believed that our job isn’t just to provide great service, but to be emotionally supportive as well. If we aren’t doing that, we aren’t doing all of our job.

Our next difference maker is a continued emphasis on improving our facilities. We’ve always tailored our locations to be relevant to modern life. When you think of a funeral home, you probably imagine an environment that feels outdated, stuffy and generally uncomfortable. We wanted to get far away from that standard. Pleasant, modern, comfortable — those are the characteristics we want our facilities to embody. Our first real innovation on this front was putting in a bar and reception space at our White Bear Lake facility. We’re also focused on creating a cutting-edge video and print experience. To that end, our next upgrade is going to be video and webcasting services that allow friends and family members to take part in a funeral no matter where they happen to be.

Finally, Taelor and I are in the process of creating an entirely new program called Grief Compass . Grief Compass is designed to provide support in the 18 months following a death. We know that during that time, people don’t need a lot of help all of the time. They just need a little help some of the time, and that’s what Grief Compass delivers. The program will include a newsletter component, as well as a 24/7 support line with expert counselors. Whether you want to call anonymously or develop a regular relationship with a counselor, Grief Compass will be there for you.

I’m really excited about the work we’ve done so far with these difference makers, and I know that energy will continue through the fall. Before I go, I want to make one last nod to summer and thank everyone who came out to our Summerfest concert. It was a blast, and we’re already looking forward to next year.

Wishing you a pleasant fall,

Scott Mueller

The Only Marathon You Never Have to Train For

Sat, 02 Sep 2017 22:43:01 GMT

Once again this Saturday, Sept 23 2017, Mueller Memorial Funeral & Cremation Service is excited to be sponsoring the only foot race you never need to train for, White Bear Lake’s Shortest Marathon, benefitting the White Bear Lake Emergency Food Shelf.

Registration is at 10:30am and the “race” begins at 11am and travels one block from right out front of Mueller Memorial on Bald Eagle Avenue and 3 rd Street down to 2 nd Street. The whole route is literally one block.

To get your engines going Mueller Memorial sponsors a White Castle slider “carbo-load” before the race, there is a water stop at the halfway point, and doughnut holes and coffee are served at the finish line.

The cost of entry into the marathon is a tax-deductible donation of $35 to the White Bear Area Emergency Food Shelf, and the first 300 registrants get a t-shirt to prove they finished a “marathon.”

For more information or to get tickets, visit either the event page on Facebook or the Food Shelf’s page . You can also sign up last minute at 10:30am on the day of the event.
We’ll see you there!!

White Bear Lake Summer Fest 2017

Fri, 04 Aug 2017 22:35:38 GMT

What: Summer Fest featuring Martin Zellar & the Hardways and Gary LaRue & His Rat Pack Band

When: Saturday, August 19 2017 at 6:00 p.m. (gates open at 5:00)

Where: Frassati Academy Ball Field, White Bear Lake

In support of our community, local music, and fun in general, Mueller Memorial is a proud sponsor of Summer Fest, featuring Martin Zellar & The Hardways. Come out to Frassati Academy Ball Field and enjoy an evening of great music!

Martin Zellar is from Austin, Minnesota, and has played in bands since high school. The singer/ songwriter is a local legend, and his band Gear Daddies enjoyed success with their hit songs like “(I Wanna Drive the) Zamboni” and “Stupid Boy.” When Gear Daddies broke up, Zellar began playing with various musicians in a band that would be called Martin Zellar & The Hardways.

Come hungry and stay a while, as there will be an assortment of delicious food, hot dogs, hamburgers, and brats available for purchase along with soft drinks, wine, and beer from our neighbors at Big Wood Brewery . Another local favorite, Cup and Cone , will be selling ice cream treats, and a popcorn wagon will offer snacks to concertgoers.

It’s BOYC (bring your own chair) if you’re going to need a place to rest your dancing feet, and the show is happening RAIN or SHINE (but it’s under a huge tent so a little rain won’t keep us down).

Tickets are available in advance or at the gates for $15 each, and kids 14 and under get in for free. Bring the whole family!

Mueller Memorial has a limited number of free tickets to offer our friends and neighbors. The offer is limited to two tickets per person and you can claim yours at MuellerMemorial.com/concert.html

ESABA East Side Revival

Thu, 08 Jun 2017 22:30:22 GMT

As part of Mueller Memorial’s commitment to supporting the vibrancy and vitality of the communities we serve, we make sure to stay directly involved in community organizations.

Scott Mueller was a founding member of the East Side Area Business Association (ESABA) , and now our Director of Community Relations, Taelor Johnson, serves on its board.

ESABA supports the East Side by providing strong business advocacy, interconnected diverse networking, new business opportunities, connection to the community, opportunities for cross-cultural engagement, and business education. This past May, at our St. Paul location we were proud to host ESABA’s Annual Fundraiser: “East Side Spring Revival”.

With a few simple decorations, we transformed our versatile reception area into a 1920’s style speakeasy, complete with flapper dancers from The Mounds Theater and prohibition-era inspired cocktails formulated by the folks at Ward 6. The event also featured guest speaker and President of the Timberwolves and Lynx, Chris Wright.

It was a great night and we were happy to help raise funds necessary to keep this dynamic organization thriving and continuing to advocate for development, investment, and progress in our neighborhood on the East Side of St. Paul.

Memorial Day Services in St Paul 2017

Wed, 24 May 2017 22:27:17 GMT

Mueller Memorial has compiled a list of Twin Cities cemeteries offering Memorial Day Services with a special focus on the memorial parks we most commonly serve around St. Paul and White Bear Lake. Click the address for a map and directions. There is also a phone number listed for each cemetery, so if you have any additional questions about services please give them a call. All of the service times listed are for Memorial Day, Monday May 29th 2017 unless otherwise noted.

Fort Snelling National Cemetery 7601 34th Ave, Minneapolis
612-726-1127
Ceremony at 10:00 a.m.
(They expect many people, so plan to arrive early if you’d like to secure a seat. You’re also welcome to bring your own lawn chair if you’d like to arrive later.)

Calvary Cemetery , 753 Front Ave. , St Paul
651-488-8866
Service at 10 a.m.

Elmhurst Cemetery , 1510 Dale St N. , St Paul
651-489-1707
Service at 9 a.m.

Evergreen Memorial Gardens , 3400 Century Ave N, Mahtomedi
952-890-9291
Service at 11 a.m.

Forest Lawn Memorial Park , 1800 Edgerton St., Maplewood
651-776-6420
Service at 11 a.m.

Oakland Cemetery , 927 Jackson St, St Paul
651-224-2366
Service at 10 a.m.

Resurrection Cemetery , 2101 Lexington Ave S., Mendota Heights
651-488-8866
Service at 10 a.m.

Roselawn Cemetery , 803 Larpenteur Ave W, Roseville
651-489-1720
Service at 10 a.m. on Mon. May 29 only
Organ concert and refreshments 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Sat 27, Sun 28 & Mon 29

St. Mary of the Lake Cemetery , 1709 Stillwater St, White Bear Lake
651-429-7771
(In case of rain meet at the church, 4741 Bald Eagle Ave.)
Service at 9 a.m.

Union Cemetery , 2505 Minnehaha Ave E., St Paul
651-739-0466
Service at 10 a.m.

Additional 2017 Memorial Weekend Events at Ft. Snelling

Military History Living Timeline
Historic Fort Snelling | 200 Tower Ave, St Paul, MN 55111

May 27-29 2017, 12p.m. to 5p.m.
$12 Adults, $10 Seniors and Veterans, $6 Kids 5-17, Free for kids under 5

Throughout the weekend, visit the stone barracks and talk with costumed staff representing different eras of U.S. military history. On Saturday , staff will present stories about U.S. expansion during the 1800s. On Sunday , the focus will be on the 20th century and the growth of the U.S. into a global power. On Monday , don’t miss a special “living timeline” of America’s military past on the parade ground, with costumed staff and reenactors sharing the history of Americans serving in armed conflicts.

For more info, visit the Fort Snelling website or call 612-726-1171.

Boundless Compassion: Serving Families All Over the Twin Cities

Tue, 09 May 2017 22:23:30 GMT

The funeral profession used to be defined by hard geographic lines. You went to the funeral home in your town, and so did all of your neighbors. But that’s no longer the case. What matters now is that you find a funeral provider that will make you feel comforted and cared for at a time when you need it most.

At Mueller Memorial, we don’t turn people away because they are outside our traditional area of service. We do everything we can to facilitate an experience anywhere in the Twin Cities, no matter the effort it takes.

I’ve been thinking about this recently because I got a call from a friend of mine who regretted not using our services. He thought he was outside of our parameters. I was sad to hear about his regret, and told him that if he ever needed our services in the future, he should reach out no matter the distance.

There are all sorts of possibilities when it comes to providing funeral services miles away from East Side St. Paul and White Bear Lake. If it means we need to work hand-in-hand with another funeral home, we’ll reach out to them. If we need to get in touch with a church, country club, or other venue, we’ll do that too. We love our facilities, but they don’t define the extent of our services. We’re happy to go above and beyond in order to make the service for your loved one everything it should be.

We get calls from all over the Twin Cities, largely thanks to our vocal supporters who refer their friends and family members. I want to thank everyone who shares their sincere appreciation and admiration for what we do. It’s truly the greatest compliment we can receive. To know that people feel satisfied with the care and compassion we provide is what makes the job special to me.

Before I go, with Mother’s Day right around the corner, I would be remiss without taking a little time to celebrate my mom. Connie, my mother, is a huge inspiration to me, and I’ve always admired her personal discipline. Though she didn’t work outside of the home, she raised nine kids (!) while being active in her church and doing a ton of volunteer work. On February 15, she celebrated her 90th birthday, and she’s full of energy and vitality. She’s a selfless, loving woman and a huge reason why I am the person I am today.

I want to remind everyone to cherish the time they get to spend with their parents. Parent-child relationships are sometimes complicated, but the ability to compromise and commiserate is what makes these relationships so crucial to our lives. It can be easy to take for granted all the sacrifices our parents make for us, but we should be mindful of them, especially during this time of year. I want to close simply by saying, “I love you, Mom. Thanks for everything.”

-Scott Mueller

Legacy of Planting Flowers and Frying Fish

Fri, 17 Mar 2017 22:18:39 GMT

It is very exciting to finally see the light at the end of our cold Minnesota winter. Spring is a season of awakening and renewal–a time of new beginnings–though sometimes, it also reminds us of the things we’ve left behind. When it comes to what we pass down to those we love, I think we too often focus on physical things like money and possessions. While heirlooms can be important and meaningful, we also leave behind something less material but more powerful: our legacy.

Maybe I’ve been thinking about legacies because Lent is is here and that reminds me of my friend, Don Schoeller. As many of you know, Lent is the season of Friday fish frys in our area. Don was a very active member of his parish Men’s Club at St. John’s/ St. Genevieve’s in Hugo and was an important part of organizing and volunteering for their fish frys.

Don was always urging me to join the men’s club but the timing was never quite right. So, when Don passed away in 2014, I finally realized that there is no time like the present and joined the club. I am there because of Don–that’s legacy. His beloved fish frys are now named for him which is a fitting tribute that shows how much Don gave of himself to his parish and how much they loved him.

I found a great article that discusses the many ways we can create a legacy that will last for years, if not for generations, after we are gone. It’s called “5 Ways to Leave a Great Legacy,” by Joan Moran, and you can find it on the Huffington Post website. Ms. Moran advocates for the importance and value of legacy-making and suggests these ways for building one:

1. Support people and causes that are important to you.
2. Reflect and decide on what is most important in your life.
3. Share your blessings with others.
4. Be a mentor to others.
5.Pursue your passions because they are infectious.

When I think about Don and his fish frys, it is clear he hit upon all five of the above points. Don cared deeply about his parish, and he saw the fish frys as a way to share his blessings with those in his community. The members of the men’s club always talk about what a leader

Don was, and how eager he was to share knowledge and experiences with them. He was never less than extremely passionate about his club, as I know from all the times he told me what a great group of people it was.

I also try to meet these criteria when I think about what I am going to leave behind. Striving to be a mentor to my staff is important to me. I have a depth of professional experience that I hope my employees can borrow from and make their own. I am incredibly dedicated to the service we provide here, and I definitely hope that Mueller Memorial will keep doing a great job for decades to come.

With spring on the horizon, take time to reflect on what you do in everyday life to create your legacy. Right now-all the time-you’re planting the seeds of your future through the people you surround yourself with, the way you speak, and the actions you take. So when everyday decisions or opportunities present themselves take a moment to ask your self, “If I do this, am I plating flowers or weeds?” Don’s legacy isn’t a product of happenstance, it’s the result of a lifetime spent planting flowers–and frying fish.

– Scott Mueller

Local Fish Frys

Don Schoeller Memorial Fish Fry
Fridays March 3, 10, 17, 24, 31 & April 7 , 5-8pm
St. Johns’ Church in Hugo
14383 Forest Blvd. N. (Hwy 61 & Frenchman Rd.)
$11 Adults, $9 Senior (60+), $7 Junior (6-12), Free for Kids (5 & under)
Enjoy perfectly fried Icelandic cod, baby red potatoes, french fries, coleslaw, macaroni ‘n cheese, pickles, rolls, cookies, milk, coffee, water, & pop. For more information call the church at 651-429-7937

St. Pascal’s All You Can Eat Fish Fry
Fridays March 3, 10, 17, 24, 31 & April 7 , 4:30-7pm
St. Pascal Baylon Catholic Church in St. Paul
1757 Conway St. (in Briochi Hall)
$11 Adults (12 & up), $4 Children (6-11), Free for Kids (5 & under)
Classic fish fry menu includes fried and baked cod, macaroni ‘n cheese, potatoes, mixed steamed vegetables, coleslaw, dinner roll and dessert. Coffee and water included with your meal. Milk, bottled water, and pop $1 each. Stations of the Cross at 7pm .

4 Tips for Not Getting Ripped Off on Cremation

Wed, 22 Feb 2017 23:15:48 GMT

Last Sunday night KSTP News on channel 5 did a story about a cremation service currently under investigation in our state. If you watch the video of the report you’ll see that Heritage Cremation Provider is actually being investigated in several states for questionable business practices.

Today Licensed Funeral Director and owner of Mueller Memorial Funeral and Cremation Services, Scott Mueller, made this short video to give you four essential things to look for when choosing a cremation provider. These tips will help you find a reputable funeral and cremation provider and keep you from getting ripped off.

TIP 1:
Check their website for active contact information . Make sure that they list at least one way to get in contact with a real person, not just a 1-800 number, contact form or email address.

TIP 2:
Always look for a locally owned cremation provider. We have bricks-and-mortar investments in your community, so you know that when you need us, we will be there.

TIP 3:
Sign your documents in person. For something this important you are going to have questions, and you want someone across the table from you to who can give you well-informed, honest answers.

TIP 4:
Don’t look for the lowest price, demand the highest value. In order for a cremation provider to offer rock-bottom prices, you have to ask yourself, what concessions in service make it so cheap? What compromises in care are they making?

As you can see from the news report, this profession involves so much more than a financial transaction. There is an emotional transaction that take place and if the cremation service provider you select doesn’t respect that, you may save some in dollars and cents, but will likely pay for it in stress and heartache–like these women did.

If you follow these four simple tips you’ll be well on your way to making the best decision for your family at what will almost certainly be a difficult time.

If you have questions, you can call us any time at 651-774-9797 or stop by and see us in St. Paul or White Bear Lake.

A Very Colorful Valentine’s Day

Thu, 16 Feb 2017 23:08:56 GMT

We want to offer a very big THANK YOU to everyone who helped make our Valentine’s Day Wine and Paint event such a success, especially our artist-for-a-day guests. Thank you also to the pros at Wanderlust Studio in White Bear for helping us paint a very pretty picture this Valentine’s Day!

Sometimes a funeral home can seem a bit intimidating to visit, but we really appreciate these opportunities to host events that use our new reception room for something bright and fun.

We had widows, married folk, sisters and brothers, friends, fathers, and daughters all mingling and laughing while creating their masterpieces. We sang along with the music and at times sternly focused on getting our canvases just right.

It was a fun day for us at Mueller Memorial and we really don’t get a chance to say that too often. Thank you again to all of our guests for making it a very special Valentine’s Day.

Six R Processes of Mourning

Fri, 10 Feb 2017 23:05:01 GMT

Though knowing them won’t explain away your grief, it may offer a little piece of information that speaks to where you are right now. Grief theory isn’t all that exciting, but it’s worthwhile to take a look at it every once in a while to see if all this study and research can offer you or someone you know a little glimmer of insight into your own journey through grief.

So, today we’re going to take a look at Therese Rando’s Six “R” Processes of Mourning. This theory was presented in her 1993 text, Treatment of Complicated Mourning, and despite that title, this theory is meant to offer insight to “normal” mourning. (Don’t even get me started on what the heck “normal” means.) Here they are:

Therese Rando’s Six “R” Processes of Mourning
Avoidance Phase
1) Recognize the loss – acknowledging the death and understanding the death

Confrontation Phase
2) React to the separation – experiencing the pain, feeling identifying, accepting, and expressing reactions to the loss. Identifying and reacting to secondary losses.

3) Recollect and re-experience the deceased and the relationship: this requires realistically reviewing and remembering the deceased, as well as reviving and re-experiencing feelings.

4) Relinquish old attachments to the deceased and the old assumptive world

Accommodation Phase
5) Readjust to move adaptively into the new world without forgetting the old world: this mans developing a new relationship to the person who died, adopting new ways of being in the world, and establishing a new identity

6) Reinvest. Putting emotional energy into new people, goals, etc.

The part that can be tricky with this theory, like the Five Stages of Grief, is the implication that bereavement is linear—you start at Process 1 and move forward toward Process 6—and linear grief theories always makes me a little uncomfortable. If you’ve ever experienced grief you know that one day you can be feeling great and you’re “reinvesting” in life, then a day later you catch yourself struggling to “relinquish old attachments” to the way you thought your life was going to be. The identification of the six processes is insightful, but the expectation that they’ll happen in a specific order is challenging.

If you look at the processes individually you can probably recognize some things that you’ve experienced, but maybe never had the words to identify. I know they can seem a little dry and over-simplified at times—“acknowledge the death,” yeah, obviously—but if you unpack these simple lines, there can be a lot of depth in there.

Some people really do struggle to acknowledge that their loved-one is gone. Like a widow who refuses to sell her husband’s car, not because it has special sentimental value, but because she believes it’s still needed. Admitting and understanding that someone you love is gone and not coming back is no small thing. And that’s just the looking at the first process. A good exercise might be to try reading the processes again and see if there’s something more there for you if you dig into a little more deeply.

Want to Be More Productive? Make Gratitude Part of Your Day

Wed, 01 Feb 2017 23:01:51 GMT

They say you get what you give. And it turns out the same could be true for time. You have to invest time into meaningful tasks in order be more efficient in your day-to-day life. If you’re someone who feels like there are never enough hours in the day, adding a dose of gratitude might actually give you more free time.

Neuroscientist Alex Korb explains that giving a simple “thank you” releases dopamine in your brain. With more of this positive energy, your work can be completed more efficiently and effectively, and since you’re running on more/deeper sleep — another perk of gratitude — you are set up for daily success.

Want to be more productive and make time for the activities you care about most? Make gratitude a part of each and every day. Here are a few very simple ways to start:

Journal it. Writing down a few words of appreciation before bed can make you sleep better and feel better the next day. Keep a simple notebook next to your bed and make a list of three things from the day that you are thankful for. Review it the next day and start again that evening with a new list.
Brighten your breaks with thanks. Give sincere thank-you’s to your servers and baristas when you’re out. Write it on the check, say it with eye contact, or leave a generous tip. Some of the hardest working and most underappreciated people are in the service industry, and your gratitude can really have a big impact on them and you.
Have gratitude on hand. It’s one thing to think about saying thanks; it’s quite another to do it. Make it easy on yourself by completing the first step to a thank-you card in advance. Keep a stack of blank notes with you at your desk, in your car, or in your laptop bag — anywhere that is most convenient — and whip them out when you think someone deserves a big thanks.

The act of appreciation can have a very profound effect on your everyday life, from your relationships to your attitude and even your energy levels. But aside from all the obvious effects on your well-being, spending time on gratitude each day will make you a more productive person in the long run. Start practicing those thanks today!

Valentine’s Day Wine and Paint

Wed, 25 Jan 2017 22:58:53 GMT

No painting experience needed!

Are you looking for something fun to brighten up the Valentine’s Day blues? Just want to try something different this year?
Come and join us at Mueller Memorial in White Bear Lake for a Valentine’s afternoon full of conversation, food, wine, and painting!

Friends, sisters, widows, widowers, moms, dads–we will definitely welcome anyone who’s looking for some fun and creativity this February 14th.

The pros at Wanderlust Studio will provide everything you need: paints, aprons, brushes, easels, canvas, and step- by-step painting instructions for any level of artist. Total painting novices are absolutely welcome!

The lovely springtime picture we’ll be painting.

These amazing instructors will guide you to create your own unique version of the springtime poppy painting you see here, which you can take home and show off to all of your friends.

Normally, Wanderlust charges $35 per person for these events, but because this is Mueller Memorial’s first event, they’re only asking for a $27 per person materials fee.

Mueller Memorial will also serve complimentary wine, punch, delicious sweet treats, and savory hors d’oeuvres to all of our guests.

If you’ve never done one of these before, it is a riot.

Tuesday, February 14th
at Mueller Memorial’s bright, new reception room
4738 Bald Eagle Ave. White Bear Lake 55110
Appetizer social hour at 2 p.m.
Painting from 3–5 p.m.

Space is limited, so sign up today by calling us at 651-429-4944 or get your tickets online at www.valentinespaint.eventbrite.com . And it’s especially fun if you invite a friend or family member to join you!

(Painted-on mustaches optional.)

New GriefShare Group Begins Saturday

Tue, 17 Jan 2017 22:54:16 GMT

Saturdays, January 21 – April 15th 2017

8:30 – 10:30am at
Mueller Memorial
4738 Bald Eagle Ave.
White Bear Lake, 55110

GriefShare is a faith-based support group that meets weekly. You will find it a warm, caring environment and will come to see your group as an oasis on your long journey through grief. There are three key parts to your GriefShare experience:

Video Seminar
Encouraging, information-packed videos featuring leading grief-recovery experts.

Support Group
Small-group discussion about the weekly video content.

Workbook
Journaling and personal-study exercises that reinforce the weekly session topics.

The one-time $20 workbook fee covers all 13 sessions.

For more information visit, http://www.muellermemorial.com/groups.html
Call 651-429-4944 today to sign up.

A Warm Welcome to 2017 from Scott Mueller

Thu, 12 Jan 2017 22:43:07 GMT

Wishing you a happy New Year. I hope everyone had a good, safe holiday season. I spent mine with my grandkids, who are getting cuter with each day.

And thank you to everyone for your tremendous response to our Facebook video series “12 Days of Holiday Grief.” We’ve heard from many people about how much this helped them transition through the holiday season in a positive way.

If you’re anything like me, you may have already set and broken your New Year’s resolutions. But really, it doesn’t matter if you broke your resolutions or didn’t stay completely true to them — keep them on your radar throughout the rest of the year. Resolutions are always made with great intentions and very high expectations, so smaller goals often get overlooked.

In December, I looked back on the year and all that I was unable to accomplish. I looked at the list and realized that it’s human nature that makes me focus on negative part of that list, but didn’t consider how much I was able to do. I think it’s so important that we give ourselves credit for the small things we did accomplish.

If you’ve been paying attention to the newsletter we send out, over the last several issues there are items of advice that will position you well for the new year.

A gratitude journal, for example, is a very small resolution that can become a daily habit, and it’s never a bad time to start creating this kind of positive behavior. As a reminder, a gratitude journal can be kept right on your nightstand so that just before bed you can write three things you are grateful for. And they don’t have to be big things.

Your list can include the same things every night, but you’ve got to write down at least three. When you wake up in the morning, look at that list before anything else. There is so much power in putting your mind into a positive place before your sleep cycle, and it helps you wake up and start your day with a more positive mindset. Expanding your gratitude will set you up for a good year.

The beginning of the year is also a good time to look at people we need to forgive, including ourselves. It’s human nature to be hard on ourselves, but we certainly need to make space for forgiveness.

Over the past year and continuing into 2017, Taelor and I are working hard to provide you with information that helps you recover and feel better after the death of someone you love.

This program is called Grief Compass , and you can expect to see more of it in the coming year as we focus on trying to expand resources for people dealing with the loss of someone close to them. Keep your eyes peeled for more information on this. You’ll be the first to know the details of the content. We’re very excited about development of this, and I think you will be, too!

Lastly, it’s certainly winter here, and the older I get, the longer the winter seems to become. But have heart — the days are actually getting longer now.

Stay safe on winter vacations if you’re lucky enough to get away, and if not, stay warm and safe at home.

All My Best,
Scott Mueller

4 Steps to Get Gritty for New Years Resolutions

Tue, 03 Jan 2017 22:39:16 GMT

We all really want to stick to our New Years resolutions, but do we have what it takes? According to research, what it takes is grit.

So, what exactly is grit and how do we get some?

Excerpts from a Freakonomics interview with Psychologist and Researcher, Angela Lee Duckworth, explain the four traits that gritty people have in abundance: interest, practice, purpose, and hope.

Interest

So one thing that I found about paragons of grit, you know, real outliers in passion and perseverance, is that they have extremely well-developed interests. They cultivate something which grabs their attention initially, but that they become familiar with enough, knowledgeable enough that they wake up the next day and the next day and the next year, and they’re still interested in this thing. And I think that is something that we can actually intentionally decide: “I want to be the kind of person who stays interested in something.” And so that passion really does have to come first…
But I will say this: it is human nature to get bored of things and to seek the novel. And I think that one of the skills that one must develop in life, if one cares not to be a dilettante, if it’s a goal of yours to become expert in something, one of the skills is to learn to substitute nuance for novelty.

Practice

The second stage really does have this quality of laboring in a very methodical way and in a very unfun way for most people to get better and better at this thing that you’ve become interested in…
The ability to take a large something, and break it up into little tasks, and to fractionate things so that they’re not so overwhelming and that you can do them. So that is the second stage, and it’s about doing things that you can’t yet do.

Purpose

Connecting your work, or even your hobby if that’s where your real passion is, to people who are not you. So it’s a beyond-the-self purpose that I’m particularly observing in grit paragons. And I used to think, well, of course that will apply to people who are working on the cure to cancer or people who are working in community organization. But, in fact, even athletes, who you might say, “Well, they’re doing something kind of selfish, right? They’re trying to win the gold medal for themselves.” But even these people who have ostensibly very personal, or you could argue, selfish interests, they really see how their work is connected to other people. Athletes will say they feel connected to their teammates, to the sport as a whole. So I think that this third stage doesn’t happen at the front for most people.

Hope

You really do need hope from beginning to end. Because, of course, no matter where you are in your journey, there are going to be potholes and detours and things that might make you think that it’s not worth staying on this path. So hope, essentially, is the belief that there’s something you can do to come back from these problems or from these challenges. And I say that it’s the fourth component, but it’s really something that you need at varying degrees in varying ways all along.

So when you feel like giving up on your 2017 goals:

Recall why you became interested in this resolution in the first place.
Remember that living up to your resolve will take daily, “unfun” practice.
Consider how working toward your goal contributes toward good that extends beyond you.
Hold optimism close; it will carry you through the valleys.

If you want to go more in-depth on the topic of grit or listen to the entire 44min Freakonomics podcast on the topic, click to visit their website.

Realistic New Year’s Resolutions for 2017

Wed, 28 Dec 2016 22:36:56 GMT

As we get closer to the New Year our thoughts tend to turn to the mother of all good intentions, the New Year’s Resolution.

Before you pledge allegiance to being your best in 2017, keep these few things in mind to help set you up for success.

2) Set specific goals.
“Eating better,” for example, is a good idea but is too abstract to be easily accomplished. Setting a specific goal will help you be more successful. So rather than having the goal of “eating better” commit to eliminating fast food from your diet, or adding a serving of vegetable to every meal.

3) Make your resolution positive.
Try to avoid using words like “don’t, stop, never, lose, etc.” these words all address subjects that you wish to reduce or eliminate from your life, so why not start by eliminating the subjects from your language? Instead of saying, “stop being messy,” say, “keep my bedroom tidy.” Or rather than, “don’t spend so much money,” try, “add $50 to my savings each month.”

4) Write it down.
Now that you’ve got your small, specific, positive resolutions, it’s time to get committed to them. Grab a pen and paper and in your own handwriting commit to your resolution in a tangible way. It’s also a good idea to keep your resolutions in a visible spot as a reminder. Don’t want to display your resolutions, no problem, just keep them near your bed and revisit them in the morning or before you go to bed.

5) Make a plan to get back on the wagon.
You’re human. You are flawed. We all are. If your commitment to getting more sleep, or what ever your resolution may be, gets ignored for a few days or a week, don’t abandon you’re resolution altogether. Forgive yourself then be ready with a plan to get back on track as soon as possible.

Need some help picking a resolution? Here are a few ideas.

Get 8 hours of sleep at least 3 nights per week
Stretch for 3 minutes every morning
Borrow a Beginning French lesson program from the library
Eat a portion of vegetables before lunch and dinner
Write down three things you’re grateful for every night before bed
Read 10 pages of a book each day
As soon as possible after you receive a gift, sit down and write a thank you note
Tidy up your room before you go to bed on Mondays and Thursdays
Sign up with community education for a mindful meditation course
Find a cause you’re passionate about and volunteer to help once a month
Start your workday by filling up a bottle of water and sip in it all day

The 12 Days of Holiday Grief 2016

Fri, 16 Dec 2016 22:23:03 GMT

If you’re experiencing grief after the loss of a family member or friend, the holidays can be an especially tough time of the year. Here are 12 suggestions for making the season a little bit brighter and helping you prepare for some of the feeling that grief might bring this year.

From Mueller Memorial Funeral Home, we truly wish you a happy holiday.

Local Restaurants Open on Thanksgiving

Tue, 22 Nov 2016 21:54:09 GMT

There could be any number of reasons you’re not feeling up to having a traditional Thanksgiving this year, and that is perfectly understandable.

If you’d like to take the pressure off the day and have someone else do the cooking and cleanup, there are several White Bear Lake and St. Paul restaurants that will be open and happy to serve you.

All of the serving times for Thanksgiving, Thursday November 24 th 2016 are listed here and were correct at the time this article was written. But be sure to call for reservations, holiday menu information, and to confirm their Thanksgiving hours of operation have not changed. Gobble Gobble!

Forepaugh’s Restaurant , 276 South Exchange St., St. Paul, MN 55102
651-224-5606 forepaughs.com
Serving 2pm – 6pm

Kincaid’s Restaurant , 380 St Pater St., St. Paul, MN 55102
651-602-9000 kincaids.com
Serving 11am – 7:45pm

Key’s Café (Roseville Only) , 1682 Lexington Ave. N, Roseville, MN 55113
651-487-5397 KeysCafe.com
Serving 8am – 2pm

Buca di Beppo , 2728 Gannon Rd., St Paul, MN 55116
651-772-4388 BucaDiBeppo.com
Serving 11am – 9pm

Jake’s City Grille , 1745 Beam Ave., St. Paul, MN 55109
651-366-6440 JakesCityGrille.com
Turkey Buffet 10am – 3pm

Rudy’s Redeye Grill , 4940 U.S. 61 Service Rd., White Bear Lake, MN 55110
651-653-6718 RudysRedeye.com
Serving 11am – 3pm

Pazzaluna , 360 St Peter St., St. Paul, MN 55102
651-223-7000 Pazzaluna.com
Serving 11am – 7pm

Obb’s Sports Bar & Grill , 1347 Burns Ave., St. Paul, MN 55106
651-776-7010 ObbsBar.com
Serving 11am – 6pm(+)

From all of us at Mueller Memorial, we wish you a lovely Thanksgiving!

Surviving the Holidays 2016

Tue, 15 Nov 2016 21:51:36 GMT

For all of us the Holidays can be a busy, sometimes great, sometimes stressful, time of year. And if you’re thinking about someone you love who has died, their absence can make the season all the more difficult. It’s hard to put aside feelings of loss and enjoy the Holiday season when the person you love is not there to share in celebrating the traditions you’ve built with them over the years.

Sunday November 20th 2016 at 4pm Mueller Memorial is offering a faith-based “Surviving the Holidays” seminar as a stand-alone extension of the GriefShare program. Using videos, workbooks, and discussion, our facilitators Sue and Cindy, will guide you and help you prepare for a holiday season after loss.

Participation in this one-night session only costs $5, which covers your copy of the “Surviving the Holidays” handbook. The program lasts roughly two hours, and after, Mueller Memorial will be hosting a free Donatelli’s dinner for all participants.

This program has helped many people face the holidays after loss and if you or someone you know is in that position this year, we welcome you to join us this Sunday November 20th 2016 at 4pm at Mueller Memorial in White Bear Lake, 4738 Bald Eagle Ave.

Please RSVP as soon as possible (so we have enough food) at 651-429-4944

Post Election Grief 2016

Wed, 09 Nov 2016 21:48:28 GMT

Many people In America are celebrating today, Election Day +1, many people are not.

There are several well-researched, well-known and respected theories of how grief works, but today we’re going to take a look at Theresa Rando’s “Six R Processes of Mourning.” (1993)

There are six processes (which not surprisingly all begin with R) that are categorized into three phases, Avoidance, Confrontation, and Accommodation. Take a look at the model and see if you can’t find some things that are ringing true for you today. Though it sounds a little morbid, you could quite easily insert “Hillary Clinton’s candidacy” for “the deceased” or “the person who died,” and it becomes very relevant.

Avoidance Phase
1) Recognize the loss – acknowledging the death and understanding the death

Confrontation Phase
2) React to the separation – experiencing the pain, feeling identifying, accepting, and expressing reactions to the loss. Identifying and reacting to secondary losses–what else did you lose beyond the primary loss?
3) Recollect and re-experience the deceased and the relationship: this requires realistically reviewing and remembering the deceased, as well as reviving and re-experiencing feelings.
4) Relinquish old attachments to the deceased and the old assumptive world.

Accommodation Phase
5) Readjust to move adaptively into the new world without forgetting the old world: this mans developing a new relationship to the person who died, adopting new ways of being in the world, and establishing a new identity
6) Reinvest. Putting emotional energy into new people, goals, etc.

Do you see how this might translate into the context of your candidate losing a major election?

Now, this model has the fault, as many grief models do, of being linear–as if these things happen in a perfect sequence. The reality though is we tend to bounce around a bit so just because you’re “reinvesting” and drawing purpose from the loss one minute doesn’t mean later that day you won’t be “reacting to the separation” again. This is just a model, not a rule book.

And as we like to say, as long as you’re not hurting yourself or someone else, you can’t do grief wrong.

If you’re happy today, congratulations. If you’re sad today, I hope this helped.

A Fruitful Legacy: Remembering Dickey Jacobson

Fri, 04 Nov 2016 20:44:54 GMT

At Mueller Memorial we always work to make every service as individual as the life lived. This past July we got a call from the Jacobson family informing us that their matriarch, Ella Mae “Dickey” Jacobson, had passed away and they were ready for us to come and bring her into our care, but not before we honored a Jacobson tradition.

The Jacobsons own and operate Pine Tree Apple Orchard in White Bear Lake, a favorite among locals and families looking for an agricultural adventure during strawberry, apple, and pumpkin seasons. Not only do the Jacobsons grow these fruits along the scenic hills of the orchard, but they also use them to create delicious pies, pastries, and treats.

When funeral directors, Scott and Alex, arrived to take Dickey into our care, the family requested that our hearse escort their mom on one last ride through the orchard she loved. At the orchard, the Jacobsons climbed on the flatbed of their hay wagon and lead the way up the hill with our hearse close behind.

Just as they had done in 2008 for their father, Art, when they reached the peak of the highest hill, the Jacobsons made a stop, gathering together to say a few words remembrance and a prayer for the woman who built a business, and even more importantly, a family among the blossoms and fruit they overlooked.

The Jacobson have created a meaningful tradition that thoughtfully, respectfully honors the lives of their family members. We are privileged to be a part of that tradition and encourage every family we serve to work with our Directors to create a memorial custom that is unique and meaningful to your family.

Dickey will be dearly missed by her friends and relatives, but you can experience her legacy every year when the apples are ripe and Pine Tree Apple Orchard starts pulling those fresh pies out of the oven. That’s where you’ll find her.

Our Strongest Team Yet

Wed, 29 Jun 2016 20:33:56 GMT

We are always excited when we have the opportunity to grow our team and improve our services. We’ve already received amazing feedback on our additional Funeral Director, Mary Thompson, whom we brought on board recently to improve efficiency, allow for additional personal attention and, in turn, provide even better care to the families we serve.

Mary has an incredible 30 years of experience, and is very well-connected with the White Bear Lake community, living and raising her children just north in Hugo.

She shares our vision for the dynamic future of our funeral home and is wholly committed to providing attentive, heart-centered service to everyone who comes through our doors.

We’re also happy to welcome Jessie Siiter, our new Office Manager, who has been doing an outstanding job of juggling all the behind the scenes details that go into every funeral or memorial service we arrange.

Jessie is a fantastic fit for our team and if you come to our office in St. Paul, Jessie will be the one at the front desk holding a Dr. Who mug.

The impact these new talents are already making in the profession and the lives of our clients is huge, and we can’t wait to see where their ingenuity takes us.

Memorial Day: Minnesota Events and Services for 2016

Wed, 25 May 2016 20:29:31 GMT

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Military History Living Timeline
Historic Fort Snelling | 200 Tower Ave, St Paul, MN 55111
10am-5pm
Travel through the past with a special living timeline of military life through history during this special day honoring America’s soldiers. Costumed staff and reenactors will interpret different eras of military history through uniform and equipment displays as well as weapons demonstrations. See large-scale military demonstrations throughout the day, play children’s games, and explore Minnesota’s oldest military post. More info, www.mnhs.org/event/715 or 612-726-1171.

Fort Snelling National Cemetery – Memorial Day Service
Ft Snelling National Cemetery | 7601 34th Avenue, Minneapolis, MN 55450
Ceremony at 10:00 a.m.
They do expect many people, so plan to arrive early if you would like to secure a seat. You are also welcome to bring your own lawn chair if you would like to arrive later. For more information call (612) 726-1127.

Additional St. Paul Cemeteries Offering Memorial Day Services:

Calvary Cemetery , 753 Front Ave., Saint Paul, Minnesota, Service at 10am

Elmhurst Cemetery , 1510 Dale St N., St Paul , Minnesota, Service at 9am

Forest Lawn Memorial Park , 1800 Edgerton St., Maplewood , Minnesota, Service at 11 am

Oakland Cemetery , 927 Jackson Street, St. Paul , Minnesota, Service at 10am. Civil War Tour at 12pm, a walking tour visiting the historic figures interred at Oakland, guided by Pat Hill for this, his 20 th and final year.

Resurrection Cemetery , 2101 Lexington Ave S., Mendota Heights , Minnesota Service at 10am

Roselawn Cemetery , 803 Larpenteur Ave W, Roseville , Minnesota, Service at 10am. Organ Concert and Refreshments 11am-1pm

St. Mary of the Lake Cemetery , 1709 Stillwater St, White Bear Lake , Minnesota, Service at 9am

Union Cemetery , 2505 Minnehaha Ave E., St Paul , Minnesota, Service at 10am

Wishing you a safe and pleasant Memorial Day Weekend.

A Memorial Built on Relationships

Mon, 21 Mar 2016 20:27:14 GMT

Ken and Sandy Knutson

During an especially restless night after the loss of her husband, Ken Knutson , Sandy Knutson came upon the idea of having the pallbearers usher her husband’s urn into the church while wearing Mortenson hard hats. For over 30 years, Ken had worked for M.A. Mortenson Co. , a local construction company well-known for taking on major projects, including, most recently, U.S. Bank Stadium — the future home of the Minnesota Vikings.

Before his retirement roughly 15 years ago, Knutson served as a superintendent for major projects including work at the Children’s Theater, Mt. Sinai Hospital, and the Wells Fargo Center in Minneapolis. According to Sandy, Ken’s wife of 56 years, the superintendent oversees the entire job and the subcontractors, making sure everything stays on time.

Ken’s commitment to his work and to Mortenson did not go unnoticed. After Sandy’s son Greg made the call to the company requesting the hats, Mortenson had them delivered within an hour.

Ken’s ashes were appropriately inurned in a black Stack-On toolbox, and on September 23, 2015, Ken’s funeral mass was held at St. Mary of the Lake Catholic Church in White Bear Lake.

Michael Krohn, Ryan Bruns, Sean Bruns, Kenny Knutson, and Christopher Knutson ushered their grandpa’s urn into the church. (photo courtesy of Sandy Knutson)

Using Mueller’s custom urn carrier, his five grandsons were allowed the great honor of acting as his pallbearers. Michael Krohn, Ryan Bruns, Sean Bruns, Kenny Knutson, and Christopher Knutson ushered their grandpa’s urn into the church, all wearing a version of the Mortenson hardhat that Ken had donned for so many years.

When Sandy spoke to Mortenson Company Chairman Emeritus, M.A. “Mort” Mortenson Jr., he let her know that he got “teary eyed” when he saw the young men with the hard hats on.

In a time when people and companies so infrequently create long-term relationships, Mortenson Co.’s investment in Ken Knutson was apparent through their support of Sandy’s idea and lending their name to Ken’s personal and meaningful memorial. The Knutson Family saw the company for which Ken had worked as such an impressive part of his personality that it played an important role in memorializing him that day.

New GriefShare Group Beginning Jan 23rd

Mon, 11 Jan 2016 21:25:00 GMT

From the desk of Taelor Johnson, Director of Community Relations at Mueller Memorial

Hello There,

This past summer I lost someone who has been a life-long friend. Though his absence wasn’t something at the forefront of my mind every waking second, I found I was in a funk that I couldn’t seem to shake.

Normally I’m a pretty vibrant person and it seemed that I couldn’t get my spirits up like they usually were. I was having trouble

concentrating and began forgetting things, like tasks and appointments, which is just not like me.

That September we were forming a new GriefShare group at Mueller Memorial, so I decided to join and see if that would help me feel…honestly, a little less nuts, or lost, or foggy.

I was a bit nervous as the first session started, but Cindy and Sue have such an easy and approachable way about them that they make you feel welcome and very comfortable. They’ve lead these groups before and have experienced loss in their own lives, so they’re excellent guides through the GriefShare program.

And I cannot say enough about the quality of the program! I admit that my expectations for the quality of the content were low, but I was so wrong. The beautifully shot videos are full of insightful and immediately useful content that connects to the issues in the workbook, which connect to the topics of open discussion.

Discussion was my favorite part. Though all of the group members were experiencing a different loss, together we connected, commiserated, sometimes laughed—and yes, cried—over our losses.

Most importantly, we talked openly about what life is like after someone you love dies. And there are not many places you can feel really comfortable doing that.

GriefShare isn’t a cure, but it’s just a little bit of help to get you closer to understanding your grief and make it all a little less confusing.

If you have any questions about my experience, or the program in general, please call me.

I hope you’ll give GriefShare a try on Saturday, January 23 rd 8-10 a.m. at Mueller Memorial in White Bear Lake.

7 Ways to Remember Dad on Father’s Day

Fri, 19 Jun 2015 18:25:25 GMT

1) Tell a Story About Him

2) Drag Out Your Box of Childhood Memorabilia

3) Share Something Your Dad Taught You with Someone New

4) Try an Activity That He Loved That You’ve Never Attempted

6) Eat Like a Dad

7) Talk to Your Dad

Big Changes in White Bear Lake

Mon, 20 Apr 2015 18:19:14 GMT

If you have passed by recently, you may have noticed that our funeral home in White Bear Lake is looking a little differently these days. This winter we are undertaking a major renovation in order to give the people we serve exactly what they want from our funeral services.

In early 2012, Mueller Memorial, in conjunction with the Funeral Service Foundation, helped to fund a research project in an effort to understand the public’s perception of the funeral profession.

Olson Zaltman Associates, a Pittsburg-based marketing and research firm, implemented its patented ZMET research method to draw out the “unconscious metaphors and cultural archetypes that people associate with funeral homes and their products and services.” The Funeral Foundation ZMET study ‘s very comprehensive results revealed, and in many cases, affirmed, the public’s changing demands within the profession.

As the only funeral home to participate in sponsoring this study, Mueller Memorial received early access to the research findings and has carefully considered what we could do to meet the changing needs of the families we serve.

One of the most frequently expressed concerns of those surveyed involved the funeral home buildings themselves.

In the past the inner chapel of a funeral home was intentionally built without windows. This served a specific function because bright, natural light generally did not create the most favorable appearance for an open-casket visitation. So, most funeral home chapels or reception rooms were built without windows as a way to accommodate the desired lighting, but left visitors feeling confined, some in the ZMET study even describing it as “tomb-like.”

In response, we are taking down walls and adding many tall windows, as well as an expanded reception area to create a bright, open space for visitors to comfortably chat and commiserate.

If you have ever talked with a Baby Boomer about what they want for their own funeral it is likely that you have heard, “I just want it to be a party.” The ZMET study confirmed that this is a very common wish.

We kept that idea in mind when planning our reception area and have included a large, open space for banquet and high-top tables, a kitchen to accommodate caterers, and we will even have a built in bar for those who want to host beverage service.

Of course we will always be able to meet the needs of families who want a more traditional service, but now we will be able to provide the people we serve with expanded options for making their funeral service a unique experience that reflects the life and personality of their family member or friend.

The renovation is being completed in stages to allow services to be held in White Bear Lake without interruption during construction. Remodeling is scheduled to be complete in May and we hope that you will stop by to see how pleasant a funeral home can be.

Homeless St. Paul Veteran to Be Laid to Rest

Sat, 07 Mar 2015 19:16:06 GMT

This past week Mueller Memorial was contacted by Pastor Brian Scoles from Our Saviour’s Lutheran Church regarding the death of one of his parishioners, Jerry Jackson.

Mueller Memorial is a funeral home in St. Paul, so calls of this nature are not unusual, however, this call was unique because the staff had just been talking about the case of Jerry Jackson in their East Side office.

Everyday a copy of the Pioneer Press arrives at Mueller’s doorstep on the corner of Johnson Parkway and East 7 th Street, and one of their funeral directors, Alex Hacker, had read the story of a homeless veteran who had died in Indian Mounds Park, just a few miles from their location, and it had sparked a conversation.

“When Pastor Scoles contacted us that day we immediately started figuring out how we could help,” said Scott Mueller, owner of Mueller Memorial, “There’s a lot that we do in the background, logistically, for planning a funeral, and it becomes even more complicated when we have limited vital information about the person who has died. But we knew we had to help.”

Pastor Scoles connected Mueller with Jerry’s next of kin, a brother who lives outstate, and was able to gain permission to proceed with planning Jerry’s funeral.

Mueller’s staff set to work. Thorough some investigating, and with the help of federal and county veteran’s associations, they were able to secure Jackson’s interment in Fort Snelling National Cemetery with military honors.

From the moment Mueller began planning, he knew he would be offering the full services of his company, equipment, and staff at no charge.

When asked why he is doing this Mueller said, “Jerry’s story could be seen as emblematic for the way we treat our veterans and the way they all too often slip through the cracks, but Jerry wasn’t an emblem, he was a person—a veteran—he was someone who served his country and someone who mattered to the people of our neighborhood. We just couldn’t let that go unrecognized. It was…it was just the right thing to do.”

Services for Jerome William “Jerry” Jackson will be held at Our Saviour’s Lutheran Church on Thursday, March 12 th . Visitation at 12:30pm, Memorial Service at 1:00pm. He will be interred at Fort Snelling National Cemetery the same day, with full military honors, at 2:30pm.

More information can be found, and condolences offered here .

New Year's Resolution for Grief

Wed, 31 Dec 2014 19:11:42 GMT

Despite what some people may tell you, happiness, healing, and hope when facing grief are not just things that happen with time, it does take some resolve.

Your life is made up of the small decisions you make every day. Where you go, what you say, how you react, who you choose to be around, and what information you expose yourself to are some of the choices that determine how you’re living your life, every day.

So when you’re faced with those small decisions it’s best to be prepared.

Take some time at the beginning of this new year and really think about what you want for yourself in realistic, practical goals. Here’s how to map your resolve…

Write a list of your goals in the positive. Rather than saying, “Don’t be sad,” say, “Do things that make me happy, like…” “Don’t be sad” is abstract and difficult to accomplish, but coming up with specific things you can do which bring you joy can be scheduled and practiced.
Focus on gratitude. Gratitude shouldn’t just be relegated to one Thursday in November. Regularly spend some time considering the things in your life you’re thankful for, and even better, write them down .
Try something new. One thing. Give yourself 365 days to try one new thing. This certainly doesn’t need to be skydiving, but getting out of your comfort zone or learning something new is good physically and psychologically.
Volunteer. Studies have found that helping other people may be an abundant source of vitality and well-being. Find a cause that means something to you, and possibly the person you lost, then lend a helping hand. If you’re not ready for a recurring commitment, you can offer to help for a single event.
Connect. Consider positive people in your life that you wish you had more interaction with and commit to contacting them in this year. A text, an email, or a hand-written letter may reopen a neglected line of communication.
Write it down. Thoughts come and go, but lists are tangible. Setting your goals or thoughts to paper gives you a guide to follow and acts as a reminder that your intentions are real and attainable. As a bonus, as you tick things off your list, you can revel in your accomplishments.
Don’t be afraid to fail. This is a big one, and pretty much everybody struggles with it. All of the things on this list require varying degrees of vulnerability on your part. It’s very possible that one or some of them won’t work out the way you hoped. Do not let that deter you. There are countless moguls, musicians, actors, and entrepreneurs that will tell you of the mountain of failures they encountered before finding their way to great success, this is the same thing on a smaller scale. If you reach out to someone and they don’t respond, connect with someone else. If a volunteering experience didn’t fit for you, go somewhere else. The key is to persistently pursue your goal of finding happiness.

We wish you much happiness in 2015 and the years to come!

RECIPE: Best Pumpkin Spice Bars

Thu, 20 Nov 2014 19:06:27 GMT

The holidays can be a tough time if you’re missing a family member or friend. If you know someone who may be feeling a bit more lonely this holiday season maybe take an afternoon to deliver them a tasty homemade treat along with a little holiday cheer.

Spiced and delicious these bars TASTE like the holidays. Is it bars? Is it a sheet cake? Does it matter? It’s scrumptious!

What you’ll need:

Pumpkin Bars:

4 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2 cups granulated (regular) sugar
1 – 15oz can of pumpkin
2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp of each: ground ginger, cloves, and nutmeg

Cream Cheese Frosting:

6oz cream cheese
3/4 stick of margarine
1 Tbsp cream (or milk)
1 tsp vanilla
4 cups powered sugar

How to make it:

Set out cream cheese and margarine to soften.
Preheat oven to 350
Mix together eggs, vegetable oil, granulated sugar, and pumpkin.
Add flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and nutmeg to the wet mixture and combine.
Place mixture in greased 12x18x1 pan.
Bake at 350 for 25 – 30 minutes.
While it bakes, prepare the frosting by mixing together the cream cheese, margarine, cream, vanilla, and powered sugar.
Allow bars to cool before frosting.

ENJOY with a friend!!

White Bear Lake’s Shortest Marathon 2014

Wed, 15 Oct 2014 00:00:19 GMT

On September 27 th Mueller Memorial once again sponsored the third annual running of White Bear Lake’s Shortest Marathon supporting the White Bear Area Emergency Food Shelf .

This is no ordinary marathon, which would normally require months of training and discipline to complete a 26 mile and 385 yard course. No, this course is one city block.

To get the runners the energy they need to sustain them for the length of the race, Mueller Memorial was happy to once again provide the prerace carbo-load in the form of 650 White Castle hamburgers.

According to Gloria Carpenter, the event organizer, this year the marathon raised $12,850 for the Food Shelf with nearly 350 participants. This fun event provides a serious donation to an organization committed to helping those of our community who are in need.

The Food Shelf’s statistics are impressive. During this last year, because of their efforts, on average 308 families were served each month, 11,385 individuals were served throughout the year, 200,879 meals were provided, and 256,477 pounds of food were distributed.

Mueller Memorial is honored to again take part in this exciting and important event. If you’d like to participate in the “marathon” next year or want more info visit WhiteBearFoodShelf.org

Scott Mueller Writes the Book on Death, Grief, and Funerals

Mon, 08 Sep 2014 23:53:52 GMT

As a funeral director and owner of Mueller Memorial Funeral and Cremation Service, many find Scott Mueller’s chosen profession very interesting.

The topics of death, grief, and funerals are often seen as taboo in normal daily interactions, but when people hear that Mueller is a funeral director, they tend to lean in, lower their voice, and share their curiosity about these important, but often avoided, topics.

Throughout Mueller’s over 35 years in his profession, people have frequently asked him the same questions. He realized that if the people he meets are consistently asking these questions, other people that he hasn’t met (or have just been too reserved to ask) are wondering about the same things.

Those questions spawned Mueller’s new book, What to Know Before You Go: An Insiders Answers to the Most Commonly Asked Questions About Death, Grief and Funerals.

The book, which can be found through WhatToKnowBook.com , addresses topics ranging from funeral history to costs; tips for finding a great funeral home to knowing what information you’re going to need at the time of a death.

According to Mueller, “By the end of the book, readers will be better informed about what they want from the ceremonies, services, and celebrations that can surround a death. From the functional to the frivolous, the book provides access to the answers people need to plan the affordable, memorable, and meaningful funeral that is customized to their unique wants and needs.”

In order to get this information to anyone who has unanswered questions about death, grief, and funerals, Mueller is offering the electronic Kindle download of the book for a limited time for 99¢ at WhatToKnowBook.com . Paperback copies are available for purchase at the list price of $12.95 at Lake Country Booksellers .

Mueller is hoping that his book will help to open a dialogue among families that, when the need arrives, will help them feel prepared and confident that they’re making the right decisions for their family and friends.

Twins’ Superfan Story Continues

Mon, 14 Jul 2014 23:48:56 GMT

Not long ago, Mueller Memorial served someone from the Wild’s “Team of 18,000” as well as a fervent citizen of “Twins Territory”. This gave us on-the-glass seats to witness the way these larger than life teams pause to recognize a single special voice no longer shouting from the crowd.

When Elaine Arnold died just before the Twins season opener in 2013, her daughter, Lynne Arnold-Walker (pictured), came into the Mueller White Bear Lake funeral home location and saw the officially licensed Twins cremation urn. Lynne and her husband Jon (also pictured) knew right away that this was the perfect urn for Elaine.

This year, for the Twins home opener on April 7 th , almost a year to the date after Elaine’s death, Mueller Memorial posted a blog entry about this wonderful woman who had spent many of her 84 years being a “couch coach” for the Minnesota Twins.

A few days later we received a call from Jim Anderson of the Minneapolis Star Tribune asking for more information about Elaine and the Twins urn and casket we have on display at the Mueller Memorial St. Paul funeral home.

Jim along with Richard Sennott put together the story and pictures that ran in the April 19 th edition of the paper under the title, “Products made for die-hard Twins fans – to the end.” Lynne and her family were so excited that a major newspaper was paying their respects to Elaine’s fandom.

But it didn’t stop there.

The day the article came out David St. Peter, President of the Minnesota Twins, tweeted:

RIP to one of our greatest fans – Elaine Arnold. The @Twins are grateful for your support. http://t.co/NOtRRFo0jb via @startribune

— Dave St. Peter ( @TwinsPrez ) April 19, 2014

Soon after, Lynne let us know the Twins had offered her family a suite for the May 26 game versus

the Texas Rangers. She was ecstatic!

Though the Twins couldn’t pull out a win that day, 16 members of Elaine, and late husband Ted, Arnold’s family felt like they had hit the jackpot. The Twins provided chicken fingers and wings, hot dogs, brats, chili and chips, popcorn, pretzels and soda. The family was especially impressed to get a visit from team mascot, TC Bear and then find their suite was right next to Twins legend Tony Oliva.

"When I first walked into Suite 54," Lynne said, "it took my breath away to see what they had set up for us-all because of [Mom] the couch Coach."

Hers isn't the only story. Joseph Lee was a 14-year season ticket holder for the Minnesota Wild. When the team found out about his death last February they went above and beyond by sending his family an official Wild jersey with "Lee" and "14" stitched to the back.

We'd like to thank the Minnesota Twins and Wild for recognizing devoted fans and creating, as Lynne put it, "A memory beyond words for the entire family."

The Legato Legacy

Wed, 25 Jun 2014 23:36:55 GMT

Earlier this year the hearts around Mueller Memorial were especially heavy when we were notified of the death of Donald Legato. Don was a familiar face around our building having visited many times to pay respect to a lost family member, friend, or fellow member of the community. Don seemed to know everybody and everybody seemed to know him; it’s like that sometimes with cops.

Born on the Eastside, Don spent 33 years in service to his community as a police officer. His daughter, Denise, described in her moving eulogy, that her dad lived up to his title of Cop, which she explained is short for Constable of the Peace . “His scrapbook is filled with articles about him catching bad guys,” she continued, “but the most revealing items are the letters and notes that talk about his kindness and compassion to people who were facing one kind of crisis or another.”

We definitely saw that kindness and compassion in the halls of our building, if nothing else, based on the sheer number of times we would see Don at services—he was a “regular” around here.

A funeral home isn’t usually the first place that comes to mind when you’re looking for a local establishment to frequent, but Don knew that there were members of his community in need of help here—people who were facing a crisis in their lives. Even years after his 1988 retirement from the force, Don showed up and helped support families in crisis, like a police officer, like a man who cared about his community, like a Constable of the Peace .

Don knew that nothing could ever replace the act of showing up and being there for people in need, so he was frequently at services to honor, respect, and support.

The picture above tells so much about the kind of cop Don Lagato was. According to Denise, a photographer named Richard S. Anderson took it in the summer of 1979 in downtown St. Paul around Wabasha Street. The photo was submitted to the Minneapolis Tribune Snapshot Contest, and was one of the six photos selected to go on to the Kodak International Newspaper Snapshot Awards in New York.

At the time the picture was taken Don was assigned to downtown and walked the beat, as he did by choice for his entire career. He did not know the elderly gentleman and was just helping him cross the street when the picture was taken. It was truly a candid shot that reflects the kind of man, and police officer, he was.

Knowing the kind of man he was makes it less surprising that Don and his wife Mamie were married for more than 60 years and raised 7 children. “And yet he still held her hand and wrote her love notes,” Denise recalls, “They always said they lived an ordinary life but the truth is they were quite extraordinary because of the way they lived and loved.”

It’s only appropriate to finish this article the way Denise finished her tribute to her father, by signing him out of service, “Officer 343, 10-7, End of Tour.” Thank you, Don.

Events In Minneapolis and St Paul for Memorial Day 2014

Thu, 22 May 2014 23:32:32 GMT

Memorial Day isn’t all barbeque and beers, it’s a day meant to be spent celebrating those who have sacrificed to preserve America’s freedom and way of life. So we at Mueller Memorial Funeral & Cremation Service recommend taking some time out this Monday to attend an event to honor the men and women who have served in our Armed Forces.

If you’re looking for an event, ceremony or service in the Minneapolis or St Paul area, we’ve put together this list to help you find where to go on Memorial Day.

St. Paul/Minneapolis, Fort Snelling National Cemetery – Memorial Day Service 7601 34th Avenue, South Minneapolis, MN 55450-1199 Ceremony: May 26 at 10:00 a.m. There is at limited information available on the website so questions would probably be bettered answered by calling (612) 726-1127. They do expect many people so plan to arrive early.

St. Paul, State Capitol – War Memorials Minnesota’s war dead, veterans, POW and MIA are memorialized in the grounds of the Minnesota State Capitol in St. Paul. There are memorials for every major conflict in US history. The Civil War, the Spanish-American War, World War I, World War II, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War are remembered here. There are also memorials and markers for prisoners of war, soldiers missing in action, and for the surviving veterans. http://minneapolis.about.com/od/cityservicesgovernment/ig/Memorials-at-the-Minnesota-State-Capitol/

St. Paul, State Capitol – Veterans For Peace Memorial Day Gathering Veterans For Peace will be holding it yearly Memorial Day gathering remembering the casualties of war on Monday May 26 th at 9:30am on the grassy area beside the Minnesota Vietnam Veterans Memorial at the state capitol grounds on John Ireland Boulevard. Program will include reading the names of Minnesota’s fallen, speaker, song, and poetry. Bring chairs and umbrella in case of rain. http://www.vfpchapter27.org/?q=node/58

South St Paul – Memorial Day Parade and Memorial Service Monday May 26 th beginning at 9:30am the parade will travel along Southview Blvd beginning at Fifth Ave. and 6 th St. North. It will end in Oak Hill Cemetery where a memorial service will be held at 10:15am. Contact Roger Schwagmeyer for additional information at 612-741-7258

St. Paul, Fort Snelling – Military History Living Timeline Monday May 26 th 10am-5pm – Travel through the past with a special living timeline of military life through history during this special day honoring America’s soldiers. Costumed staff and reenactors will interpret different eras of military history through uniform and equipment displays as well as weapons demonstrations. See large-scale military demonstrations throughout the day, play children’s games, and explore Minnesota’s oldest military post. http://www.historicfortsnelling.org/events-programs/special-events/military-history-timeline

St. Paul, Como – Memorial Day Challenge Hearts & Minds 5K A 2.5K and 5K run will be held at Como Lake in St. Paul, located at 1360 Lexington Pkwy. N., St. Paul, MN 55103. There will also be a Fun Run for the kids. Find more information at http://charitieschallenge.org/html/challenge_hearts_and_minds_5k.html

Minneapolis – Memorial Day Ceremony Lakewood Cemetery will honor the 100th Anniversary of World War I at 10:30 a.m. Monday, May 26. Robert Robinson will lead a Gospel quartet, and the Minneapolis Police Band will play at the ceremony followed by the releasing of doves. Taps will be played, and an appearance of the Honor Guard will take place. Find more information at http://www.lakewoodcemetery.com/Memorial_Day.html

Minneapolis, Target Field – Military Monday May 26 th 2014 – Twins vs Rangers 1:10pm Active military members or veterans (plus four guests) with a valid military ID, discharge papers or membership card from the Legion, VFW, or DAV will receive a half-price ticket in Home Plate View seating locations (available day of game only). http://mlb.mlb.com/schedule/?c_id=min#y=2014&m=5&calendar=DEFAULT

Eagan – Memorial Day Remembrance Fallen police, firemen, and military will be remembered at the Tribute and Memorial Plaza in Eagan Central Park, 1501 Central Parkway. A ceremony will take place at 2 p.m. on Monday, May 26. Find more information at http://www.cityofeagan.com/index.php/recreation/rec-events-calendar/1370

Richfield – Honoring All Veterans Memorial Day Ceremony This ceremony takes place at 2 p.m. Monday, May 26. The featured guest speaker is Walter Holm, a World War II Merchant Marine Veteran. The 34th Infantry “Red Bull” Band will entertain attendees, and food and beverage will be available for purchase before and after the ceremony. It takes place at 6429 Portland Ave. Find more information at http://www.ci.richfield.mn.us/index.aspx?recordid=534&page=36

St. Louis Park – Memorial Day Service The Veterans of Foreign Wars and the American Legion will honor those who served the country on Monday, May 26, from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. at the Veterans Memorial Amphitheater, located at Wolfe Park, 3700 Monterey Dr. Find more information at http://www.stlouispark.org/events/memorial-day-service.html

Golden Valley – Memorial Day Flag Row May 26 there will be 600 flags lining Golden Valley Road between Highway 100 and Winnetka Avenue North to honor those who have fallen while protecting their country and the more than 83,000 currently listed POW/MIAs still unaccounted for. People are invited to walk the 1½ mile stretch of roadway to pay tribute to previous military soldiers. Find more information at http://www.exploreminnesota.com/events/9255/golden-valley-memorial-day-flag-row

Eden Prairie – Memorial Day Ceremony SCHEDULE OF EVENTS – May 26 th 11am at Purgatory Creek Park. Semper Fidelis; Welcome – Mayor Nancy Tyra-Lukens; Posting of Colors; National Anthem, God Bless America; Invocation; Keynote Speaker – Lt. Colonel Sarah Cleveland, U.S. Air Force & EP native; Salute to America’s Finest; Honoree Introductions: Kevin Rofidal – for Mark Lamey, John Mallo – for John Flaherty, Bill Cochrane – for Dick Foley, Gary Stevens – for Haak Nyhammer; Flag Raising to Full Staff; Retire the Colors; “Taps”; Closing; T-6 Thunder Flyover http://www.edenprairie.org/index.aspx?page=17&recordid=2656&returnURL=%2findex.aspx

Shakopee – Memorial Day at The Landing Experience life along the Minnesota River as you meet fur traders, townsfolk, and farmers. Ride the Percheron horse-drawn trolley and play old-fashioned games. Meet Civil War soldiers, listen to a brass band and play baseball (Monday only). Memorial Day Ceremony (Monday 2 PM). Food for purchase by Robert’s BBQ. 10AM-5PM, last entry at 4 PM. $5, ages 18-64; $3, ages 2-17 and seniors; children under 2 free. http://www.threeriversparks.org/events/M/memorial-day-weekend.aspx

Lake Mille Lacs – Memorial Day Pow-Wow If your family is headed up to the Lake Mille Lacs area this weekend join museum staff and community members at the Mille Lacs Indian Museum’s annual Memorial Day Powwow. Bring the family to participate in a social gathering honoring American Indian veterans past and present and experience firsthand the excitement of a contemporary pow-wow. This outdoor event is from 12pm-5pm, free, and open to the public, but regular admission prices apply to visit the museum. http://events.mnhs.org/calendar/Results.cfm?EventID=4820

“It’s an Honor Just to be Nominated”

Thu, 17 Apr 2014 23:23:08 GMT

This familiar post-award show quote made famous by countless empty-handed Hollywood stars, is our mantra today at Mueller Memorial.

Unfortunately, we did not take the top prize for Best Small-Business Customer Service in White Bear Lake Magazine’s Best of White Bear Lake 2014 contest, but it was an honor just to be nominated…really it was…seriously.

We have a lot of community involvement in the areas around our White Bear Lake and St. Paul funeral homes, so we are well aware of the outstanding customer service provided by many of our business neighbors.

People in the White Bear Lake area had many great customer service choices when it came time to vote, and we just want to thank all of the people who chose to vote for Mueller Memorial.

A funeral home may not be the obvious choice for a customer service award nomination, but if you consider the times in your life that you really need someone to come through with great customer service, the time around the death of a family member or friend would be one of them. We are honored by your recognition.

Thank you to all who took the time to vote.

Congratulations to the makeover mavens at Indulge Salon for your win, to Frattalone’s Ace Hardware our fellow nominee, and to the nominees and winners in all the other categories for being great at what you do.

We’re not done celebrating yet. With the release of White Bear Lake Magazine’s “Best of” edition, we will be running a like and share contest on Facebook May 6 th – 14 th with prizes featuring Best of White Bear Lake winners. We’ll post more information here and on Facebook soon on how you can enter our “Experience the Best of Giveaway.”

The giveaway is our way of say thanks for the nomination, it truly is an honor.

Check Out Our “Best of White Bear Lake” Nomination and Giveaway!

Wed, 16 Apr 2014 23:15:13 GMT

For the second year in a row, Mueller Memorial Funeral Home and Cremation has been nominated by our community for the title of Best Small Business Customer Service in White Bear Lake Magazine ’s 2014 “Best of White Bear Lake” reader’s choice survey.

We’ll learn who takes home the top prize between Mueller Memorial, Indulge Salon and Frattalone’s Ace Hardware tonight at the White Bear Lake Magazine event at Manitou Station. It’s a tough field, but the team at our White Bear Lake funeral home is honored just by the nomination.

Best Small Business Customer Service is a broad category and really any type of business is eligible. There isn’t a Best Funeral Home category, so we’re nominated along with an interesting variety of service-oriented businesses. Our constant challenge and goal is to try to provide a meaningful customer experience at one of the worst times in peoples’ lives. This nomination feels like recognition of that, and it means a lot to us.

In recent years, our team at Mueller Memorial has been making changes to elevate the level of service provided at our White Bear Lake and St. Paul funeral homes. Innovations include better connectivity through a custom website at MuellerMemorial.com, hosting services to help visitors feel more like a guest in a home, and community outreach through social media and local events.

We’re really enthusiastic about the new service offerings we’ve got in the works for 2014, such as facility improvements and programs that will help make the planning and funeral experience easier and more manageable for our customers.

Scott’s even written the book on how to plan a funeral—literally. He recently completed “What to Know Before You Go: An Insider’s Answers to the Most Commonly Asked Questions About Death, Grief and Funerals” to help people be better prepared making funeral decisions or planning a funeral service for themselves or someone in their care.

To celebrate our nomination we’re going to be running an “Experience the Best Giveaway!” Locals should visit our Facebook page beginning May 6 th to enter. The contest will be open to everyone with a Facebook page willing to like our page or share our contest. Winners will receive gift cards to experience the service provided by one of several independent “Best of White Bear Lake” nominees. Visit our page at Facebook.com/MuellerMemorial between May 6 th -13 th to enter.

Our fingers are crossed for a win tonight, but if that doesn’t happen, it truly is an honor just to be nominated.

The Perfect Memorial for a Diehard Fan

Mon, 07 Apr 2014 23:09:47 GMT

When Elaine’s daughter, Lynne Arnold went to make the funeral arrangements at Mueller Memorial Funeral Home in White Bear Lake, she spotted the Twins urn, 12 inches tall and colored in blue, white, and baseball bat tan, which happened to be sitting on a table in the lobby.

“It was only out because it had just been delivered and I hadn’t had time to make room for it in our regular display,” recalls Mueller Memorial funeral director, Jessica Urban. It was fortunate it was there because the moment Lynne saw the Minnesota Twins themed urn she instantly thought, “This couldn’t be more perfect.”

Lynne’s mother Elaine was what you would call a couch-coach. From the Season Opener to (in the best years) October she would snuggle under her Twins blanket and yell so loudly at players and coaches that the neighbors could hear in detail why leaving runners in scoring position is basically a crime. She regularly swore never to watch again after the, “damn team didn’t win,” but sure enough, she’d be back under that Twins blanket the next night, pulling for Carew, Killebrew, Oliva, Molitor, Puckett, or Mauer, depending on the decade.

When it was time to lay Elaine to rest, it was an easy decision to choose an urn officially licensed by Major League Baseball and, of course, featuring the Minnesota Twins.

“It’s actually a very elegantly designed casket, and quite the icebreaker,” says Scott Mueller, owner of Mueller Memorial, “No other funeral home in the area has a Twins casket on display, but having it here and showing it to people makes joining a conversation about casket choices a little less daunting for them.”

The Twins’ Home Opener will be bittersweet for Lynne this year, but she does know that with the help of Mueller Memorial she was able to send off her mom in a way that celebrated who she was — a fan to the end.

6 Ways to Honor Mom’s Memory on Mother’s Day

Fri, 10 May 2013 23:04:40 GMT

Mother’s Day is the special day set aside for us to give back to the woman who gave us so much. But this coming Sunday can be especially tough for the children (of any age) who have lost their mom.

So here are some positive ways to address your grief and incorporate your mom into your celebration on Sunday…

1) Meet up with family. It may be your first impulse to avoid a family gathering, but you’ll likely find support among family members who are missing your mom too. Furthermore, if you have any other mother-figures in your life–a grandmother, an aunt, a neighbor–this is a great opportunity to show them your gratitude.

2) Cook one of your mom’s recipes. Nothing excites all the senses and triggers memory quite like cooking, smelling, and tasting food. Think of the love that your mom put into her signature dishes, and now pass that tradition of love and shared meals with someone else.

3) Volunteer for other mothers. If you look around your community there are plenty of mothers who could use your support. You could spend time at a senior care center and visit with those mothers whose children couldn’t make it in that day.

4) Plant one of your mother’s favorite flowers. It’s mid-May, a perfect time to create a new tradition of planting and caring for something that brought your mom joy. Either plant a perennial that you can look forward to returning each spring, or plant an annual that you can change from year to year. You can even add a stone figure or marker to denote this special plant or garden.

5) Read a book your mother read. It’s a Sunday, perfect time to relax with a good book. If your mom had a favorite book, or movie, or musician, take some time to enjoy the things you know she loved. Music, movies, and literature never die, so this is a chance for you to share something new with your mother even if she’s not there.

6) Take a walk around your old neighborhood. As an alternative to visiting her gravesite, consider taking yourself or your family for a walk around the area your mother raised you. Sometimes people feel a little awkward standing next to a silent grave. Why not tour around streets and sights that can come alive with memory?

If you have children of your own, we encourage you to incorporate them into some of these activities, that’s how a true legacy is created. But be prepared, your kids are going to respond in their own way which may possibly include a lack of enthusiasm. They’re not being mean, they just don’t understand yet.

Make sure that you reserve some time to be alone with your mom and your memories, because no one had the same relationship with her that you had, and no one misses her exactly the same as you do.

Wishing you a beautiful Mother’s Day.

The “D-Words”

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 23:00:04 GMT

Language is a powerful tool. The use of a certain word can be appropriate or offensive depending strictly on where you are and what’s going on. We, as a society, are especially careful with our use of language when talking about a weighty issue, like death .

When was the last time you were at a funeral and heard someone say, “Sorry your dad died”? It’s a practical phrase, it expresses sympathy, but hardly anyone ever says something like that because it comes off as being harsh. We go to great stammering euphemistic lengths to avoid the use of the taboo “D-words” such as, death, dead, died, dies. We replace those words with phrases like; passed away, loved-one, and departed.

The deeper issue of why we avoid the use of D-words is a whole other topic, but I just wanted to take a moment and address the language I will be using in this blog. Topics will be addressed in the most honest and practical way possible. In order to do this, I will be dispensing with a lot of the euphemisms commonly used at the time of a funeral.

It is not my intention to seem insensitive, it’s my intention to give you the answers you need in a way that is honest, concise, and informative and I think that speaking in a direct manner is the best way to do that. This language places our conversation somewhere between the way in which I speak to the people we serve and the way I speak to my colleagues.

Answers About Funerals, Burial, & Cremation

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 22:50:07 GMT

I grew up around my family’s funeral home and joined my dad in the funeral profession nearly four decades ago.

My dad, Al Mueller, was a widely respected and beloved guy in our community and really set the standard for what I wanted to be as an intern, then a director, and ultimately an owner. And I can tell you, Dad’s standard was set mighty high.

It’s because of my father, and my continuation of his legacy, that Mueller Memorial has become locally trusted and nationally recognized. Our reputation and commitment to service has afforded me the opportunity to become highly involved in research, serving in national funeral service organizations, and giving presentations in professional development.

All of those things are secondary to the privilege of being the person my neighbors and friends can lean on. To be given the opportunity to help them through some of the most difficult and confusing times of their lives is absolutely my honor.

My job in this blog is to help you make informed decisions and understand options that will impact how you honor wishes, celebrate the life lived, and frame the way friends and family begin the grief process.

These decisions carry with them a lot of responsibility, and a lot of questions. This blog is the answer to those questions.

So if you ever have questions about celebrations of life, preplanning, cremation, burial, or anything having to do with funerals, please ask and I’ll get you the answers you’re looking for.

Shedding Light On Your Funeral Questions

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 22:42:48 GMT

We're hoping to shed some light on your questions about all facets of funerals.

We like this picture because it seems to encompass a lot of what’s great about being from the Twin Cities

10028-mueller-memorial

The Unexpected Earth Day Action

Pre-Planning Your Funeral as Earth Day Action

Why Your Wishes Need a Plan

Sustainable Options to Consider

Making the Plan: A Step-by-Step Guide

Start Here: Your Free Planning Guide

A Generational Conversation Starter

How to Celebrate Earth Day 2026

Grief during hard times - Part 3

Things You Can Do When You're Grieving or Overwhelmed

Use Your Breath to Calm Your Nervous System

A Simple, Science-Backed Technique

During the Acute Loss Period

Physical Movement, That's all?

When Your Mind Feels Stuck, Move Your Body

Things You Can Do When You're Grieving or Feeling Depressed

The Body Can Lead the Mind

Why Walking Helps

Handling Tough Times in Grief and Life

Start With Morning Light

Things You Can Do When You're Grieving or Facing Hard Times Simple, science-backed ways to support your mental health while grieving. Learn how morning sunlight can help regulate mood and sleep.

Why Morning Light Matters

During the Acute Loss Period, Keep It Small

Is Religion Dying With Us?

When Faith Fades:

What America’s Shift Means for Funerals —

﻿ and How Mueller Memorial Stays Grounded

Do More People Die During Full Moons?

Full Moons & Final Calls: Is There Something to It?

So, is it real?

What does science say?

Why it matters, even if it’s not “true”

The bottom line?

Blue Christmas and Services of Remembrance Dec 2025

Finding a Gentle Place to Land This Holiday Season:

Blue Christmas & Remembrance Services in Our Community

Blue Christmas & Holiday-Remembrance Services

Blue Christmas Service

“In Remembrance” Prayer Service

Service of Remembrance

Longest Night Worship Service

Remembrance Candle Lighting Program

Blue Christmas – A Candlelight Prayer Service of Light and Hope

Blue Christmas – Healing Prayer Service

A Gentle Reminder

Should AI Help Us Live Forever?

The Internet’s Reaction Was Immediate

The Real Danger

Why It Matters for the Future

A Healthier Way Forward

Best Funeral Home for 6 Years

Thank You for Naming Mueller Memorial “Best Funeral Home”

﻿ for the 6th Year in a Row

Why Families Keep Choosing Mueller Memorial

1. Comfortable Spaces for Families

2. Support During the Acute Loss Period

3. The Grief Compass Program

A Promise to Keep Going

Why Is Grief Always Different?

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Experience Matters

There is a difference...

Mueller Memorial Nominated Best Funeral Home

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What Our Reviews Reveal:

The Heart Behind Mueller Memorial's 5-Star Service

The Reviews Don't Lie

Who We Serve

Innovation Meets Tradition

The Mueller Difference

Looking Ahead

Twin Cities North Metro Summer Fairs and Festivals 2025

Things to do this summer in the Northeast Metro

You Can't Make Grief Wait

Something we learned during the Pandemic

Things You Can Do When You're Grieving or Facing Hard Times
Simple, science-backed ways to support your mental health while grieving. Learn how morning sunlight can help regulate mood and sleep.

and How Mueller Memorial Stays Grounded

for the 6th Year in a Row

Grief Support Group in White Bear Lake